As parenting continues to evolve, new methods of positive parenting are always being developed. Every generation that ages begins to apply new ideas. Currently there are new methods to help parents in raising children. Positive parenting is a way to correct kids without making the children feel down or stupid. One technique is to show a child the right way to do something and reinforcing that positive feeling. The child may fail at a task but the parent is reassuring and lets the kid try it again until they get it right.
Positive parenting works for many kids but there are some parents and kids that may not be able to accomplish this task. That doesn't mean that the parent or child is failing. Remember, positive parenting will not work all the time. A parent can work at finding positive markers for their children. Look for things that a child responds to, then use that reinforcement in other areas of his life. What the parent is trying to do is to make a child better prepared for the real world that they will someday live in. Starting early in life can make this type of parenting ingrained in the child.
Competition in the Adult World
As ones children get older and they want to spread their wings and fly into the adult world, they can only take with them those things that the parents taught them. The marketplace of America can be tough on those not prepared. If a parent concentrated on only positive parenting, the child will be very disappointed. Not everybody wins in the real world; in fact, most of the time will be filled with disappointment. The difference is how the child reacts to negatives. Learning to cope with loss or negatives is what being successful is all about. Mistakes can change strategy into a winning plan.
If America's top 100 successful people were polled, every single person would tell of more failures in their early adulthood. They might also say that the failures were what eventually made them successful adults. Positive parenting is a great tool for raising kids, but allow them to make mistakes with small consequences to learn that every action they do has a consequence. Sometimes the consequence is good and sometimes the consequence is less favorable. Teaching the child this will show them that life goes on even when they make mistakes or fail. Changing ones behavior is what makes them excel in the future.
Okay, you're divorced. Your hands are always full. You never have enough time to get all the day's tasks completed and your kids could win contests for the most questions asked in a day. Sometimes there are argument at the dinner table and homework is a constant. You probably feel overwhelmed quite often and just want to resign from being a divorced parent.
Children don't understand overwhelm. They don't understand not having enough money. Your children never think to give you any up front heads up that they're going to have to go buy school supplies for their projects. They don't understand that bunches of kids yelling and laughing can get on your nerves. They don't understand their arguing can drive you nuts. They don't see the full picture.
But you do. You'll need to look a long way out to see the complete picture, because it's keeping that picture active in your mind that allows you to summon up the courage you must have to implement your Great Parenting Plan to best serve your kids. You have made a plan, haven't you? You're not just winging it, are you?
The Great Parenting Plan is where you are all dressed up, dabbing the tears from your eyes, watching your child walk down the aisle at his graduation. It could be a high school graduation or a college graduation. That all depends on your plan. You want to take yourself in thought out to that point in the future where your child graduates and begins to move off into his own life, fully self-sufficient and capable. You've got to see the picture of how to get your child to that "dream" place from where each of you is at the present time.
Working backwards from that moment in the plan, but always keeping it in the forefront of your thinking, will help you get through those challenging moments that create overwhelm, those moments when you might not even want to be a mom or dad anymore. There is no quitting option though. Your kids are here and they deserve your best. It is your golden opportunity to summon up all of your resources and give it one heck of a go.
It takes courage to persevere with the Great Parenting Plan, and it takes thinking problems through thoroughly to unfold that courage. One of the nicest aspects of parenting is that the things you need to do the job are all built in. Yep. You had them when you were born. You've been building them while you lived your own life. Doing a parent's job is like earning a Doctoral degree. D. in strengthening virtues!
What happens is that your kids provide some test for you - they test your patience, or your courage, or your ability to love. And you have the option to say "Yes, I can" or "No, I can't.There are times when you might be thinking that you just "cannot" but your force yourself to say "I can" and then you just do it. Have you ever noticed that in life, when you make a commitment, somehow in someway the fulfillment for that commitment seems to just happen.
When I was a young parent, I needed a reliable car. Car wasn't in the budget that month, but we needed that car. I made the commitment. I don't remember ever not making that payment easily. Magically, when you make a commitment, whatever you've committed to actually happens - somehow, someway.
It will happen the same way with bringing up the courage to persevere. If you determine that, by gosh, you will persevere in doing the absolute best job you can to be their mom or dad, the courage that it takes in the moment (that'd be the moment when you're exhausted and they need a ride downtown,) you will bring up the courage to set yourself aside and provide what they need from you.
And you will do it over and over again throughout your divorce. You won't remember these moments when you see them at their graduation ceremony and you will be such a proud divorced mom or dad. You'll forget about all the overwhelm. Oh they'll have told you "Dad, puhle-e-eze don't cry at my graduation" and you'll try. You'll really try. Only you will know of all the times when you set yourself aside to care for them, of all those hundreds of details you handled to be a good parent, and you won't be able to help those escaping tears. They're tears of joy. I know.
Both Ann Marier & Len Stauffenger are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.