Back in the dark ages of the workplace, all those decades ago, there was a definite assumption that there were some male jobs and some female ones. Not so much an assumption as something regarded as unassailable fact. As with so many comfortable facts of previous ages this has turned out to be falsified by later events.
That we all now know of perfectly (even superlatively) competent female solicitors or male nurses means that such assumptions have to be set aside: there's also the research of those like Simon Baron-Cohen (no, not that one, Ali G's cousin) at Cambridge University. This shows that there are indeed what we might think to be 'male' attributes, like systemizing and 'female' ones like empathy, but these are not distributed according to the possession of that Y or X chromosome, rather more randomly across all people than that.
Yet the most important thing about people skills is that we now have a much less hierarchical workplace and method of management now. In fact, we've had to create this as a result of basic economic pressures. Think back a few decades and the standard workplace was many people doing very similar things under the direction of a series of managers. It didn't really matter what the industry was, car manufacturing, building, insurance clerks: many being directed by the few, with few skill of job differences between those many.
Look at the more common workplace now. Yes, of course there is a lot of jargon out there about the multi-disciplinary demands of this job or that but the important thing is that people are now really working in teams, teams where each is bringing a very different skill to make up the whole. This is an entirely different management task: instead of providing orders to the underlings (to overplay the phrasing) we are now needing to find the right skills to make the team work, provide the resources to allow them to work, make sure that team gels and then, the most difficult task of all, get out of the way of the experts in their own fields.
There's a lot of consultants playing on this (courses in 'emotional intelligence' anyone?) but the basic thought needs to sink in. The job of a manager has changed a lot. Instead of providing orders it is to provide direction: a direction, not detailed and prescriptive ones.
This is something that recruiters like Talisman are tasked to find these days: their clients, the companies, know that team working does indeed require people skills, the ability to manage people who are highly competent in their own areas: to make those experts see the greater picture, the whole that the team should be working towards. It really isn't just for the sales people any more: if it even ever was just for them.
This mistake involves focusing so much on your apparent weaknesses that you neglect your strengths and weaken yourself even further. Self improvement then becomes a painful introspective experience that never improves your life.
How to know if you make this mistake...
Are you overly aware of your so called weaknesses while tending to ignore all of the things you do so well? Do you worry too much about all the little things you cannot do and forget about how much you have already grown?
It is easy to take for granted what comes naturally to you. And, very easy, to discount the value of personal qualities that are second nature to you.
For example, let us say you are quiet, sensitive and thoughtful. These are very positive traits depending on the context.
You are likely to be a good listener, great at reading others and quick to spot changes in relationship dynamics.
Consequently, you may be the kind of person who can see the big picture while others are too involved in a discussion to notice what else is going on.
Your personal traits are not good or bad, not valuable or worthless and not simply strengths or weaknesses. It is not black and white. Instead it all depends on the situation and how you use your communication style.
Now, the common mistake people make is to feel bad about not being more outgoing. They put themselves under pressure to be something they are not and this only makes it even more difficult to speak up and be authentic.
When you play to your strengths it feels natural. You are no longer trying to be someone you are not. And the result of this is that you relax, others then respond more favorably to what you say and how you say it.
Let us say you are softly spoken. Work with that trait and you will speak with authority and congruence without needing to raise your voice. You CAN command attention while speaking softly. It all depends on doing it with style - your style.
Developing great people skills is a question of strategy - play to your strengths and be yourself. This is the key to making a great impression whenever you meet new people and a sure fire way to form lasting friendships that enrich your life.
Then, with a solid foundation based on your true personality you can become even more charming by dropping the energy drains that hold you back.
By letting go of fears that stop you from expressing yourself with confidence. Sooner than you expect, you will find yourself happier in yourself and more expressive.
And every time you expand your sense of who you are - you will notice something unusual happens. The more you like yourself the more others will like you - they reflect it back to you. It sounds weird but it is true.
Ever had a day when you felt fantastic and could hardly stop smiling? Remember how other people were much more responsive to you that day? Imagine if that was everyday. It can be.
That is what happens when you drop the energy drains that hold you back. You unlock your true personality and the world responds instantly.
Making friends becomes much easier, people are happy to help you and... you become much more popular because everyone wants to be around someone like you who has the courage to be authentic.
Both Richard Taylor Edwards & Peter Murphy are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Richard Taylor Edwards has sinced written about articles on various topics from LASIK Surgery, Careers and Job Hunting and Careers and Job Hunting. Richard Taylor Edwards, Managing Director of Talisman Executive Resourcing, the leading provider of in UK.. Richard Taylor Edwards's top article generates over 135000 views. to your Favourites.
Peter Murphy has sinced written about articles on various topics from Modelling, Marketing and Web Development. Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at:. Peter Murphy's top article generates over 90500 views. to your Favourites.