|
||
Even though you and your new spouse may be optimistic about bringing your two families together, your children may very well be another story. Will they get along? Will they accept your new mate? What if you differ in parenting styles? These are all very common questions to be asking yourself if you are blending a family, but guess what - they will all be answered in time.
The first step to having a happy and successful blended family is to give everyone time to get to know and like one another. Afterall, Rome wasn't built in a day and neither is a family. It's important that every child knows that he/she is being heard and that their feelings are important, but it's also crucial that you explain in an open and honest manner that you have fallen in love with someone and that the two of you have decided to be married. You won't be doing anyone a favor by keeping your wedding plans a secret, so let them be known and ask your children to give the new family a chance.
As you may expect, creating a blended family may be difficult at first. In this case, it's important to agree on a parenting style so that you are both on the same page when it comes to handling life's little everyday issues. If the two of you have differing styles, sit down together and make a list of the rules that you may be willing to bend on. Don't allow your children to sit in on this exercise - this is exclusively for mom and dad. If you can work out a compromise that uses both styles, go for it. If not, try each others style for a time to see which elements are successful. From this exercise, you can develop a parenting style that offers the best of both worlds and, best of all, one that works.
As is the case with any relationship, it's important to have an open mind. This is especially true when it comes to parenting because when you blend a family, you have to realize that the other person is already used to his/her style of parenting and now there's a whole new set of rules thrown into the mix. For this reason, it's a good idea to read books, articles, magazines and research the internet for information on various parenting styles and techniques. Read them for your own technique, as well as that of your spouse. To blend is to mix and, as we all know, every good recipe requires more than one ingredient.