You've seen the signs written on the wall. Its not hard to miss, its written all over them. Or maybe it is you trying to hide something. Whoever it may be, once the knowledge of an affair is known, both parties are left with a very hard choice to make. Is a divorce the next step in this relationship?
Some people who have been hurt by infidelity reach for divorce in the heat of pain and hurt. But, in actuality, divorce can make the situation worse. There are good reasons to stay married after an affair.
You need to take a careful look at who and why before jumping to further actions. You will find it hard to get past the feeling of deep betrayal at first, but given time and commitment to honesty from both spouses, forgiveness is quite possible. Marriages take lots of work, but forgiveness and change of heart are both possible. In order for this to happen, however, both people involved must take a long hard look in the mirror.
Specific reasons to stay married after an affair are varied. Some people are simply opposed to divorce, whether it is due to religious, moral, or other personal beliefs. With the right attitude and humble perseverance, they are often able to rebuild and even thrive with a better marriage than they had before the infidelity occurred.
Love and respect can play a big part in saving a marriage as well but commitment to total transparency can be in invaluable element. The advantage of total transparency is that the couple is finally able to experience something approaching unconditional love. Both spouses should aim for a point where they know that all their own secrets are out and each mate knows just how imperfect the other really is. Only then can each spouse find the peace of knowing that the other, knowing everything, still loves. Keeping secrets and hiding our problems rather than looking them in the eye will almost insure more trouble later.
On the other hand, an affair sometimes can just be chalked up to plain old stupidity. For example, a drunken one night stand is certainly not comparable to a decade of love and companionship. Sometimes the transgression simply comes down to poor judgment or a horrible mistake. So, if both parties are willing, it can be entirely possible to stay together. Nevertheless, the hurt from the infidelity must be thoroughly dealt with to prevent any future infidelity.
There are various other reasons to remain as a unit after such an event. These reasons can include a child or children and their well being, as well as financial reasons. There can be any number of reasons to remain together after an affair. Every situation is different and everyone has different reasons. No matter who is involved, however, it is vital to talk about the feelings and hurt that has come from this event. If these things are not addressed, then the people involved run the risk of seeing these feelings again down the road.
Make sure that you avoid any quick and emotional decisions if your life is touched by infidelity. Try to communicate with the other person involved. But avoid directly addressing the "other" woman or man in your mate's life. Remember to think of the long term effects, and what will be best for you in the future. Do not act from emotions that can cause equally poor decisions as those that resulted in the affair. This will only make matters worse instead of better. Give yourself time to process all that is happening and don't rush. Regardless of outcome, the pain and feelings associated with an affair will not go away by themselves, so be sure to address the feelings your experiencing and not sweep them under the rug.
#1 Married people are happier
In recent studies, scientists founds that married couples suffer from less depression than their unmarried counterparts. And this even takes into consideration those couples that are living together and not married. Being in a committed relationship with each other is not enough, but showing that commitment to friends, family, and the wedding DJ seems to make the bond all the more important.
#2 Married couples are more productive
While the case could be made that two people can always get more done than one, married couples seem to enjoy exploring their interests more than singles and unmarried couples. Maybe it's because you've set up long term goals and thinking that guides you through the day to day, or maybe it could be because you're both challenging each other to be better ? in either case, married couples just seem to get more done.
#3 Married couples learn better
Studies have shown that married couples tend to retain new knowledge longer than single or married couples. It would seem that the calmer state of the brain is more conducive to learning. And since you have someone to remind you of what you've forgotten, it's a lot easier to keep those important facts in your head.
#4 Married couples are less stressed
When you have someone that is constantly supporting you and cares about how you're doing, this support system helps to buoy you in times of stress. Being able to laugh with each other and help each other helps the stressful times seem all the less, well, stressful.
#5 Married couples are healthier overall
Because of the reduced stress and increased support system, married couples tend to have fewer health problems than their married counterparts. They have fewer colds and other minor illnesses. Without the constant strain of a commitment that's sort of hazy, married couples can fight off germs and bacteria.
#6 Married couples live longer
With the increased health and ability to ward off stress, married couples tend to live longer than their unmarried counterparts. Married couples are more long term thinking and this allows them to have a more positive outlook on life and whatever is thrown at them. Even couples with long term illnesses or other stressors seem to be able to live longer than is normal.
#7 Married couples are richer
Of course, having two people in any relationship will make a couple richer, but married couples are more diligent about planning for long term goals which can lead to more stable financial results. They invest together, plan together, work together to create a retirement that will allow them to enjoy each other's company long into the twilight of their lives.
#8 Married couples fight smarter
No couple is without fights or disagreements, but married couples have a more relaxed approach about getting past arguments and getting over them. The long term commitment allows them to realize that not everything is as important ?right now? as it seems, and that most problems can blow over without too much incident.
#9 Married couples have better sex
While stereotypes might have you believe otherwise, married couples truly do have a more varied an enjoyable sex life. They tend to experiment to keep things exciting and they are focused more on the pleasure of their partner than of themselves.
#10 Married couples are more fit
Married couples have a built in workout partner and someone who will help them watch what they eat. This support system leads to an overall better outlook on fitness and health, which leads to a fitter lifestyle. Though slips in eating and exercise can affect both partners, it's much more likely that married couples will get back up from their discretions and find the support to regain control of their health.
Being married isn't just the dream of the white wedding; it's what happens after the guests leave and the wrapping paper has been thrown away.
Both Alex Archer & Cucan Pemo are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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