You are driving down the road and suddenly out of nowhere get blindsided by a complete stranger who just was not paying attention. Of course you do what every intelligent driver would do and you get their insurance information. In a few days you hear from a distant friend that you actually are connected to this stranger because they were in the wedding of your best friend's brother. Are we all connected like this scenario suggests or could it be all lunacy?
This idea of every person being connected is what theorists call six degrees of separation. Essentially the idea suggests that if you are one step away from every person that you know, and therefore, two steps away from every person they know, then we are all within six steps of each person on the planet. So if you bump shoulders with a stranger as you walk down a crowded sidewalk, you inevitably have some connection with them in ways that you probably have no idea even exist. It is a small world after all.
The most interesting part of this idea is to take a look at how celebrities are connected. Many stars such as or are surrounded by so much that you can see one of these two on newsstands at least once a month. Politicians are not even able to gain such high recognition, which means that the normal Joe loves to stay up to date on Britney's baby drama or Paris getting locked up. However, how are these two connected? This is obvious. They are friends and would hang out as often as they could before jail and the psycho ward.
Quite often you will hear six degrees of separation referred to as the small world phenomenon. This means that the world is not as big as you think and if we are all truly connected in six steps or less, then it makes the world feel even smaller. But this is also a very exciting idea because it means that Jane Doe really is connected to George Clooney in some way. Now you can really get crazy and imagine yourself connected to the celebrity you find plastered all over the headlines. It is not that difficult of an idea to buy into.
You may or may not have heard of the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game that was created by a few college students at Albright College in Pennsylvania. This game also played on the small world phenomenon and worked to show how any celebrity was connected to Kevin Bacon is some way. If an actor appeared in the same movie as another actor or any other form of contact, they were connected. Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon was started in 1994 and has continued around the globe, especially on college campuses, ever since. People are very interested in finding out the different ways that celebrities are connected and can be amazed or excited about their findings.
Today, people are starting up web sites that show connections between celebrities in more involved ways than just movie appearances. Paris Hilton and could be connected by different TV shows they have appeared on, relationships they have been in, family members or any other connection you can possibly think of. Connections exist in many different ways. Now it is commonplace to be able to find out how Justin Timberlake is connected to , for instance or perhaps you would rather find out how George Clooney and are connected. Any two celebrities you want to search from the streams can be easily connected. You just have to open our website and press search to find any latest news and gossip about your favorite celebrity.
But, alas, perhaps we've got it all wrong. Could there be a better strategy than a frantic chaotic approach or even a frozen state where you don't know where to start or to whom to talk? I believe the answer is Yes.
Is it possible the reason we are missing or not finding opportunities is that we are not acknowledging the power of the principle of Six Degrees of Separation? (I'll explain that in a moment.)
Let's stop to think and consider: isn't the best place to start where you are? -- meaning what happened to intentionally networking with the people you already know versus trying to connect with individuals and organizations you don't. Because, after all, those you already know can link you to everyone you don't!
What are "the Six Degrees of Separation"?
You may have heard that everyone on Earth is separated from everyone else by no more than six degrees of separation or six friends of friends of friends.
The concept of six degrees of separation emerged from an experiment conducted by social psychologist Stanley Milgram in 1967. Milgram asked volunteers to send a package by mail to one of a hundred people chosen at random. The package had to arrive, however, from someone who personally knew the individual. He verified that most of us are no more than six contacts away from a target person, group, or organization.
The implications go farther than we think, but I'll get to that in a moment. For you doubters, here is some additional research.
The concept was re-confirmed by Duncan Watts and colleagues at Columbia University in New York by conducting a massive email experiment to test the theory of Six Degrees of Separation -- everyone in the world can be linked through just six social ties. More than 60,000 people from 166 countries took part in the experiment. Participants were assigned one of 18 target people. They were asked to contact that person by sending email to people they already knew and that they considered potentially "closer" to the target. Chosen at random, the targets included a professor from America, an Australian policeman, and a veterinarian from Norway.
For everyone reading this article, I want to emphasize the next finding. The researchers were surprised to discover that message chains did not rely on a few highly connected individuals -- so-called "hubs." Previous research by Watts and fellow Cornell mathematician Steven Strogatz had suggested that such hubs were important to all social chains. So there's no reason to despair if you are not part of the social elite of networking.
The researchers found that it in most cases, it took between five and seven emails to contact the target. In this research, the medium used was email; most people, however, knew the individuals personally -- outside the online world -- meaning high tech does not replace high touch. Watts says this shows that email has not fundamentally changed the way social ties are created. The implications of this are that each of us has the potential to reach anyone through our very own network.
So what, you ask? In our mass media and at times impersonal, society, it is inferred that relationships are not as important as before. In fact, the opposite is true. Technology has simply allowed us to link more easily, but the bases of those connections are personal contacts where two people are investing into a relationship.
If you take a moment to think about it, the implications are enormous, on both a personal and business perspective. Here is a real example of ignoring this principle. Not that long ago, my company conducted a test email-marketing campaign to over 1 million individuals or organizations. We were told it was an opt-in list of people interested in resources similar to what we offer. We had no relationship with these people and that was reflected in our results. The response was less than one 10th of 1 percent.
On the other side of the coin, we recently partnered with one of our Associates to send proactive communications to individuals he knew personally; we received a 10% response to the same information. In a very noisy world, it is personal relationships, not mass media that will get the best response.
Prior to writing this article, I reviewed my current and the new business relationships on which we are working. I knew that the amount of our business that is based on relationships was high, but was surprised to discover that over 90% of all our current business or potential business is based on our network or a referral from our current relationships. We are proof that principles are not negotiable. That is why they are principles.
Most of us know this but sometimes we take it for granted, getting caught up in other seemly attractive strategies or we simply ignore the principle of Six Degrees of Separation in our intentions and line of attack. So when we get poor results, why should we be surprised?
Many authors will say that business is the main application of this truth. I beg to differ. Life is a holistic event and the principle of Six Degrees of Separation could be applied to all facets of our lives.
What about all the other parts of your life that require connections? You may be looking for the best music teacher for your child. Or perhaps a loved one has taken ill and you cannot access the latest medical treatments because of a lack of connections. Or you wish to travel and need assistance or you want to meet a famous person but you have no direct contacts that can get you in front of him or her? Everyone you need or want to meet is simply six contacts away.
It really is an amazing principle; if truly embraced, it can help each of us understand that in the end, living life is about engaging relationships and connecting with others. Success in life is as simple as one contact away.
*** This Week's Action Steps
8 Steps to Embracing Six Degrees of Separation
1. To benefit from the principle of Six Degrees of Separation, you must first acknowledge and accept the fact that almost every single person on this Earth is simply six contacts away from you.
2. If you agree to step one, embrace and honor your current relationships because these contacts can and will lead you to what you need, want, and desire.
3. Be intentional and clear about whom and what you are seeking. Foggy directions will lead you nowhere. Saying I want to meet a successful businessperson is not clear enough. The 5 Ws must be answered first. Example: I personally want to meet someone in Microsoft who can support our private school with free software, hardware, and educational funds.
4. Be proactive. Nothing asked is nothing gained; things normally do not happen by accident. Have you ever wondered why, in TV police shows, they use statements like "Get the word out to the street that . . ." Remember the principle of Six Degrees of Separation is one of equal opportunity and it works.
5. Be in integrity and use the process for authentic and honorable purposes.
6. People want to help; don't hold back because you think you are bothering them.
7. Don't prejudge or limit this principle, meaning no matter how small or seemly impossible the connection, Six Degrees is Six Degrees. The principle does not know that the person with whom you need to connect is famous; it just knows you are merely six contacts away.
8. Finally on a lighter note . . . I have no idea how each of us Human Beings -- 6 billion and counting -- can be simply six personal contacts away but it really doesn't matter. Principles are to be acknowledged and respected. Embrace it and enjoy.
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