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[S669]Social Support And Depression
by L. J. Allen, L.

We all need a social support network. Unfortunately, the modern pace of life, the dissolution of extended families in Western society, and the cumulative effects of hurt and distrust have caused many people to become isolated and lonely with no one to turn to. The effects of isolation on people’s health and well being are enormous. Isolation produces stress, loneliness, low self esteem and under chronic pressure mental ill health. Women in particular have throughout history relied upon other women to be their confessors, helpers and comforters in times of trouble. Modern women need this support no less than their historic counterparts.

However, the times we need a social support network are often those times when we are least able to be a support to others. The good news is we are not all going through rough patches at the same time and when you are doing better you can be there for someone else. Divorce, relationship breakdowns, job loss, the death of a loved one, illness, and recovery from abuse can leave us feeling empty, exhausted and totally wiped out. We can feel that we have nothing left to give ourselves let alone anyone else. However, we may be doing ourselves a vast disservice. If this is you, ask yourself what you can do and take whatever small steps you are able to take.

So how do women find other women who they can trust and who are in turn prepared to act as a support system for them? The first step to building a social support network is to start where you are at. Very few people have no one in their life with whom they can develop a stronger, more supportive relationship. Look at who is in your life now. Who do you know? Who could you call a friend, even if not a close friend? How can you build and strengthen the relationships you already have?

The next aspect to building a social support network is to be open to meeting new people. Be willing to take a chance and let new people into your life even if you have been hurt in the past. Chances are, if you have been very hurt by people you may have been naïve, telling them too much too soon and trusting people who hadn’t earned your trust. If this is you, why not try again but this time with a little more wisdom?

Finally, be a little bit choosy. You are not going to get on with everyone and it can be more trouble than it is worth to try. Try to include people you have something in common with or who have similar values. If you find confronting or abrasive people stressful then it won’t work to have them as a support system.

Building and developing a support group that can get you through those rough times is very important for everyone but especially women. The ability to create a truly supportive social network that is beneficial and uplifting will come back to your ability to choose wisely, to invest in the relationships and to open up with wisdom over time. If you do this, you will have a social support network behind you that many will envy.


Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and other 12-step groups (e.g., Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, Marijuana Anonymous, etc.) suggest that in order to recover from addiction you must accept that you are powerless to recover on your own. Only with inspiration from a higher power, recognition of your own character defects, and fellowship in the group, among other steps, will you be successful. If this perspective makes sense to you, then 12-step groups may be just what you need. But the higher power concept is not acceptable to many, and it probably isn't the foundation of the limited success AA actually achieves.

AA was established in 1935. Other groups have followed, with several hundred types of 12-step groups now in existence. These groups have been attended by millions around the world. Many participants report that their success is directly attributable to participation in the groups and acceptance of a higher power in their lives.

An alternative perspective is that many who have been helped by 12-step groups have benefited primarily from what might be called "social support," as well as some of the useful behavioral guidance of 12-step groups, rather than from a deep acceptance of the 12-step philosophy. Of course, there may be are a few individuals who will recover only by following AA's philosophy precisely and entirely. Most individuals, however, might benefit from a variety of approaches to change. Unfortunately, there are also individuals who may not significantly benefit from any.

If social support is the primary factor in AA, how does it work? The social support provided by 12-step groups is similar to the support provided by any discussion group of individuals with common problems. In such a group participants can describe their own experiences and express their feelings about them, identify individuals (models) to emulate, realize that however much they have struggled others may have struggled even more, discover alternative solutions for problems they have faced, learn about problems that might occur in the future and ways to solve them, experience the care and concern of others, and momentarily transcend their own problems by caring for others. Regardless of the underlying philosophy of such a group, or even in the absence of a philosophy, these experiences are likely to be therapeutic for most individuals.

In physical health care it is recognized that when patients are well connected to others and speak with them regularly, whether it is a support group, friends, family or others, health, well-being and longevity are better. Love is the best drug. Evidence is now emerging that 12-step based treatment may be as helpful as proven treatments. What is probably being observed, in most cases, is the power of social support, not the power of the 12 steps.

AA's program of recovery is based on the acceptance of powerlessness. However, for many who attend 12-step groups the result of group participation is, ironically, a sense of empowerment derived from the processes of social support. Consequently, even if you are committed to an alternative perspective on recovery, you might find 12-step meetings helpful. Some of my own clients have attended them regularly. If alternatives are not available in your locality, 12-step groups might be a sensible option for you. They do not conduct a "belief test" at the door. If you are quiet about your points of disagreement you might benefit from the social support as well as other aspects of the meeting. You might even leave feeling empowered!
Article Source : scripture about women

About Author
Both L. J. Allen & Tom Horvath are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

L. J. Allen has sinced written about articles on various topics from Web Development, Parenting and Self Esteem. Linda Allen is the co-founder of a social networking site, GirlfriendsCafe.com, for women throughout United States and Canada.For complete information, visit
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