Recently, I received an email from a psychologist who works with kids. She wrote, “One problem I would like to see addressed is when children try and win friends by giving them gifts." What a great topic! Below are some questions to ask and 3 parenting tips to share.
Parenting Questions:
I suggest that you sit down with your kids. Talk about making friends and ask these 3 questions to get them thinking.
First - “How could buying friendships with candy and gifts be an insult to the giver?"
Second - “If kids like a person because of their gifts, how good are those friendships?"
Third – “Would you like some secrets to making real friends?"
If your child answers “Yes" to the third question, Pick out some social skills your child needs. Practice one a week. Consider using the following social skills.
First Social Skill Parenting Tip:
Tell your child, “Act happy and say, ‘Hi,’ when you see your friends. Your friends will feel great and so will you. Let’s role play this social skill right now. Then practice this skill during the week and let me know the results."
Second Social Skill Parenting Tip:
Advise your child to “Repeat what your friends say in your own words. This will show you really listened. Your friend will love your attention. Let’s make up some typical situations and role play this skill. Then practice it with other kids this week and tell me the results."
Third Social Skill Parenting Tip:
Remind your child to “Smile when you talk. Smiling helps you look friendly. Smiles show that you like your friends. Smiles relax you inside and give you a happy feeling. Let’s pretend I’m one of your friends and let’s practice smiling while we talk. Next, practice this skill with your friends and let me know the results."
Thank you to the psychologist who asked for this topic. I hope you can use these tips. I also hope they help all parents who want their kids to make true friends.
Social Skill Conclusion:
Many kids don’t know how to make friends. They may be shy, bully other kids, brag, or just feel awkward. As the parent, you have the opportunity to coach them. If you do, you’ll be giving them an important skill for life. You’ll be building character too.
This Social Skill Problem is from Jennifer:
Hearty laughter is like sunshine among kids. If you’re a parent like Jennifer, you might not agree. Jennifer wrote that her 7 year-old-daughter gets her friends to giggle with potty talk. This is such a common problem. What can you, Jennifer, and other parents do to end the potty talk and build character too?
First Parenting Tip for Ending Potty Talk:
Pretend you are Jennifer. You could put your daughter in Time Out. She’s 7, so 7 minutes should do. When Time Out is over, ask her what she said that was wrong. If she answers correctly, you could say, “Yes," and let her go. No lectures! No yelling! No nagging!
Second Parenting Tip for Ending Potty Talk:
When your daughter potty talks, ask her, “Which privilege do you want to lose?" If she answers, “I can’t play with friends for the rest of the day," you’d need to agree with her suggestion before using it. Next, you’d need to follow through by taking away the privilege.
Third Parenting Tip for Ending Potty Talk:
When your child has a behavior problem, a good question to ask is, “What is my child gaining from this negative behavior?"
Jennifer, the wise mother that she is, already knew. She wrote that her daughter got attention and giggles from her friends when using potty talk.
The second question to ask is, “How can my child get attention and giggles without the potty talk?
Brainstorm some answers. For instance, you might take your child to the library and have her check out a joke book. Then have fun times practicing the jokes. You might ask her to share a joke each night at the family dinner, with her classmates, and with her friends.
Social Skills Conclusion:
Consider using the above tips separately or all 3 together. For instance, Time Out is easy to use at home. Losing a privilege is easy both at home and away from home. Of course, checking out joke books from the library is a fun way to learn new clean humor. Practicing clean jokes create happy times with your daughter, the family, and her friends too.
Funny people add sunshine to our lives. Getting others to laugh with good clean humor is an excellent social skill to teach your kids. It builds character too.
Jean Tracy has sinced written about articles on various topics from Culture and Society, Self Improvement and Motivation and Parenting. Jean Tracy, MSS publishes a Free Parenting Newsletter. Subscribe at and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids.. Jean Tracy's top article generates over 12100 views. to your Favourites.