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[S721]Something Good Can Work
by Grace Durfee, Gra
In the U.S. on the first Monday of every September we celebrate Labor Day. Originated in 1882 by the labor movement, this holiday honors the contributions of the American worker. Although Labor Day is now marked less by labor rallies and speeches than end-of-summer cookouts and back-to-school sales, it's a good occasion to pause and reflect upon work and how it's working for you.

How does it feel to return to work, whether paid or unpaid, after time off? Do you enjoy your work and come back full of ideas and renewed energy? Do you wake up in a crabby mood every work day and wish you could call in sick? Do you watch the clock, counting down the hours to quitting time, or do you sometimes get so absorbed in your work that time flies by? What do you think about work? I think that:

* we spend so much time at work; we'd better enjoy what we do.

* work is only one aspect of a balanced life. Instead of being a servant to your work, your work should serve you.

* who you are is not what you do. So many people get wrapped up in the trappings of their work (the title, the prestige, the professional image) that their sense of self-worth becomes tied to their job performance. In an economy where layoffs and salary freezes are commonplace, this can be debilitating.

* we all have a life purpose—something that we are meant to contribute. Each of us has been dealt a unique set of strengths, preferences, and personality characteristics with which to accomplish what Buddhists call our "right livelihood."

* when we discover and begin living our purpose, there can be an ease and flow to work that makes work feels like play.

So what do you do if your work isn't working for you? How do you go about finding out what would be both fulfilling and profitable? How can you redesign your work environment or your job description so you can't help but succeed? How do you go about making a career change if that's needed?

When I coach clients in these situations, the overarching process we use can be broken down into three basic steps: who, what, and how. Spending time in the beginning clarifying who you are makes it easier to find what work is a good fit for you. Once you've determined your ideal work, the final piece is looking at how to move into it. Within this framework, some things to explore are:

Who: What are your values, your natural gifts, your skills, your personality characteristics, and learning styles? What motivates you, what are you passionate about and what are your quirks? What difference do you make to others? What is your life purpose? There are many exercises, assessments, and lines of inquiry that can shed light on who is the sum total of all these elements.

What: Not all of your values will be expressed through work and not all of your needs will be met through it. The awareness of what makes you tick and what makes you happy, however, makes it easier to determine what industry, occupation, scope of responsibility, and size of company would make a good fit for you.

How: Restructuring your job, job-sharing, moving to another job within the same company, going back to school, moonlighting, updating your resume, and launching a job search are all examples of how you can move into more fulfilling work.

If your work's not working, don't settle for feeling stuck and frustrated. Do something about it! One place to start is at your library or bookstore. There are numerous books (my favorites are listed on my website) that can help you identify and move into work that works for you.

Career transitions can be confusing, frustrating, and at times, downright scary. It can help to team up with a coach or career counselor to help you discover what would make you "whistle while you work." They may not be able to teach you how to whistle, (For years my sons have tried to teach me, and I still sound like a teakettle.) but they can ease the way to finding work that works.

Many people are raised to think of themselves as being individuals. This however can pose problems in a marriage as this is a partnership between two people. In this partnership each person needs to work with each other. When this partnership breaks down the couples need counseling. There are many avenues available for couples counseling and you must find one that works for you.

While seeking counseling is a good idea there are facts that must be realized. The most important fact is that only the couple can make the marriage actually work even with counseling. The couples counseling is there for both parties to talk with each other.

This not talking may be one of the reasons for the marriage failing as there is a lack of communication. This is another fact that many couples fail to take into account in a marriage. The other reason why many marriages fail is due to unrealistic expectations. These expectations can put a lot of strain on the marriage as neither person can fulfill these expectations.

Of course the biggest obstacle to a marriage is the fact that marriage is not a fairy tale with a happily ever after. What marriage is, is two totally separate individual who have pledged to work together. This means they need to talk over the problems in their life together.

Sometimes counselors will advocate the couple working together on social projects. By working with other people your life can be given a new purpose. The qualities that emerge from this work can remind both of you why you got married. There is another way of making sure that your see your life together for what it really is.

This is by joining a support group. At these support groups you will come across other couples who are going through similar problems. The ways that they solve these problems will show you ways that you can try to make your marriage work. You and your partner will see what sort of problems the various couples around you have. Knowing about these problems can help put your problems into a better perspective.

The various insights that you can get from couples counseling all carry the keys to saving your marriage. You however are the only people who can make this happen. From the conversations that you have in the counseling, you have the needed tools to make your marriage work again.

What is then needed is for both of you to decide just how much you want to stay married. Once you have answered this question realistically you can let the advice from couples counseling work for you.
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Both Grace Durfee & Jeff Austin are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Grace Durfee has sinced written about articles on various topics from Health, Family and Family. Grace Durfee, PCC, is an ICF certified coach, trainer, speaker, and writer who helps busy professionals, small business owners and career changers achieve success while enjoying more balanced lives. She is the author of Balance with Grace: Celebrate the. Grace Durfee's top article generates over 6600 views. to your Favourites.

Jeff Austin has sinced written about articles on various topics from Birthday Party, Flirting Tips and Online College. For more important information on options, visit marriage.onwebnet.com where you will find information on coupl. Jeff Austin's top article generates over 33100 views. to your Favourites.
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