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It recently became clear to me that I do set goals, but there is a difference between what most who teach “goal setting” tell you to do and what I have found that works.
Let's cover what I found doesn't work. Here is an example of what absolutely doesn't work for me:
“I am going to lose 20 pounds by December 1st.”
That's the standard way many folks teach to set goals. Why doesn't that work for me? There are a lot of reasons:
1. It puts the goal “out there”… it sets me up for procrastination. I don't worry about it until right before December 1st.
2. If I lost 15 pounds, I feel like a failure. Even though I lost 15 pounds (which should be great), I didn't meet my goal, so I failed. It discourages me from setting more goals.
3. If I lost 25 pounds, I feel like rewarding myself for doing really well… perhaps by going out to eat. It also sets me up for failure next time I set a goal. My mind remembers when I overshot my goal and how easy it was, so I don't try as hard the next time.
So what can we do instead. There are no time limits for any “goal” in my notebook. There is also no pressure. It is simply a list of things that I want to be… only it is listed in present tense. The way the above would be written in my notebook is:
“I am thin, healthy and attractive.”
It doesn't have to happen by December 1st. There is no way for me to fail. That is what I want. It is what I'm going to get. By writing it down, I start my mind to working towards that goal. I also believe it notifies God (the universe, your higher power, your higher self, whatever you believe… it doesn't matter for this purpose) of my desires and He helps deliver them. It takes some of the arrogance out of the equation (that belief that I can do it myself) and at the same time takes away the self-beating (what happens when you don't meet a goal).
In the end, it frees me to give my everything to that goal without reservation. I run as fast as I can… and then I rest. I live life as hard and fast and as passionately as I can… and then I rest just as hard and passionately. There is no “reckoning” day… there is only living.
I find this method a lot more productive than the standard “goal setting” methodology. I encourage you to give it a try.
When was the last time you wrote down goals? Maybe you've gotten discouraged in the past. You barely have time to read your mail, let alone accomplish new goals. But what if you knew you would succeed? Would it be a worthwhile endeavor to lose 20 pounds, learn a new skill, or travel to a new country?
Here are four keys to setting goals and actually reaching them:
1. Set aside a special time every year to write down your goals. Make this a tradition or else you will get too busy. Try writing your goals between Christmas and December 31, so you can share them with your family on January 1. Wouldn't it be wonderful for your children to grow up hearing about your goals and aspirations? What an impression it will make on them to watch you achieve your goals each year.
If the holidays are too busy, try goal setting in August before the school year begins or select another date. The key is consistency. Have the same day set aside for goal setting each year. That day will also become a celebration for the goals achieved the previous year.
2. Write sensible, well balanced goals. If you don't exercise much, the Boston marathon isn't a very smart goal. But working out five days a week sure is! Try writing one goal for each of the following areas: spiritual, family, business, financial and personal.
3. Put your goals where you will see them often. If you write goals and then put them away for the rest of the year, chances are you won't do much with them. But if you tape them on your bathroom mirror, read them every night before you go to bed, or have them in your daily calendar, you'll be more apt to achieve them.
4. Break down your goals in doable steps. Let's use the example of working out five days a week. If you've never exercised before, five times a week will seem impossible. So start with working out every Wednesday for a month. After you get used to that, add Fridays. As you create a new normal for your exercise regimen, you'll be able to add more workouts with greater ease.
Goal setting is a wonderful opportunity to push yourself to the next level. No one wants to die with their music inside. Set goals and reach them. You will be an inspiration to your family and so many others!
Today's Action Step: When will you write down your goals? Set a specific date, time and location.