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[S434]Shyness And Social Phobia
by Steve Hill, Ste

Social phobia has a tendency to begin during adolescence, but can develop much earlier. The onset of social phobia during one's formative years can have a devastating effect on their social development. If left unchecked it can lead to serious psychological problems in later life, maladjustment, agoraphobia, depression and even suicide.

The symptoms of excessive shyness and acute self-consciousness are relatively easy to spot. If the child speaks very softly and says very little or if they shy away from eye contact. If they often cry or throw tantrums. If they are unwilling to participate in classroom activities. If they feign illness in order to avoid having to go to school. If they are constantly alone in the playground, not joining in, or if they spend a lot of time alone in their room, there is a strong possibility that they have social phobia.

It is important not to disregard a child's anxiety by simply telling them they'll grow out of it. Fortunately there are many positive things parents, teachers and family members can do to encourage a socially anxious child. The most important thing is to gently encourage them to confront their feared situations a little bit at a time, never pushing them too hard.

Parents can share with their child examples of times when they have felt anxious in social situations. This way the child will feel supported and know that they are not alone in feeling the way they do. Also parents can make a conscious effort to nurture their child's self esteem, paying them compliments and being openly affectionate.

It is important for teachers to be mindful of not doing anything to embarrass or humiliate a child and to insist on a humiliation-free environment in the classroom. They can encourage a friendship between a shy child and more outgoing child. Also they might reward any small step a socially anxious child makes to be more outgoing or participatory in class, later gradually requiring the child to do more to earn the reward.


Reviewing the literature on and off line on shyness, it becomes apparent that most agree that shyness or social anxiety, while debilitating in its effects, can be overcome.

I certainly know this to be true from my own experience. Though formerly an introvert myself, I married an extravert in part because I so much admired that personality style. I was always envious of those who made friends easily, interact with little apparent self consciousness with a host of different kinds of people, and in general seem content to be in the company of others.

It is a truism in our culture that rewards of more power, prestige and money seem to go to the more risk prone extraverts who say what is on their mind, welcome new experiences with relish and seem oblivious to the disapproval of others.

So it is not surprising that there is such a pull on the shy and social gauche to improve, change and remake themselves. Witness the following quote.

“It is important to grasp some basic concepts about the two closely related dynamics of shyness and social anxiety: Both terms describe a learned response to social interaction. I refer to this fear response as interactive inhibition.

When interactions are inhibited by social anxiety, a person is unable to get as much out of life as is possible. When individuals who have this problem think that "shyness" is an unchangeable personality trait, they are creating a major obstacle for themselves that stands in the way of fulfillment and productivity.

The reality is that shyness is social anxiety. Social anxiety is a learned response and habit that can be broken. Furthermore, at the risk of being controversial, as an individual begins to understand that social anxiety is a combination of attitudinal, emotional. behavioral, and physical responses, it will be understood that there actually is no such thing as shyness.

Rather what was understood as "shyness" is actually social anxiety, a psychophysiological response that can be learned to be controlled. In other words, it is a way of reacting, not an unchangeable instinct that has chosen the person in question.

http://www.socialanxiety.com/index.html
Since 1978, Jonathan Berent, L.C.S.W., A.C.S.W., has pioneered psychotherapy for social, public speaking and performance anxiety, blushing, shyness, and any other related disorder. He is the author of Beyond Shyness: How to Conquer Social Anxieties (Simon & Schuster)

Article Source : Pg. 37

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Both Steve Hill & Mark Sanford are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

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