An adult survivor of severe childhood abuse by her natural father plotted with her sister (also abused) to kill their parents in cold blood. The mother, who watched the children being abuse, took the first bullet and the abusive father the second.

As I'm watching this Law in Order story, I'm reminded of the mother's dilemma. Love, or leave 'em? Each of these options can be equally ugly.

If she hangs in there to keep the family together, she is an accomplice in the child abuse. And if she leaves him, further abuse to her and to the children spikes more often than not. It is truly a dilemma.

I know...I lived it. When I reached my threshold of witnessing my ex batter our children, I opened two doors. One was the door of freedom to regain our safety and wholeness. The other was a black hole of social political crime beyond most people's imagination.

For the whole story on this, see All But My Soul: Abuse Beyond Control. For now, come with me and hear the point of this message from the core of your being.

When someone is entangled in an abusive relationship, they can become trapped with a double burden: a) dealing with the abuse and then b) if they choose to leave, exiting the relationship safely.

By settling into an abusive relationship, you may very well be walking into quicksand, because BOTH the entanglement in the relationship and exit out of it can be debilitating, destructive ...downright dangerous!

THIS IS WHY early detection is the best option when it comes to domestic abuse. This is why you want to know what are the signs of emotional abuse. What does your partner's emotional verbal abuse mean in the bigger picture of your relationship and in the bigger picture of your life?

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness month. If you are the least bit curious about whether you are in an abusive relationship, I invite you to check it out, before it spirals out of control.

©Copyright 2007 Dr. Jeanne King Consultants, LLC http://www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com All Rights Reserved.

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