From the moment my child was born, I thought obsessively about how I would bring him up. I pondered long and hard about how I could help my baby become a decent, kind, intelligent, successful Human Being, who respects those around him and loves and admires his family. Are stories and workbooks really capable of teaching children honesty, responsibility and fairness?! This topic will be examined in the following article.
Books for children and workbooks for parents and educators: Kind Book project
Let's start by thinking about why people lie. The answer is obvious: to avoid hurting people, to avoid looking bad, to avoid being punished, shouted at or humiliated. While aggression, humiliation, hurt and fear exist, lies will continue to exist alongside them. But life begins in the family. If children lie at home, it is for the same reasons: misunderstanding, hurt, humiliation, shouting or punishment. That's the way people are. If we are afraid, we hide. Lying is a convenient and easy way to hide. Sometimes it's quicker and easier for us to tell a child off, and shout at him if he has done something wrong, than to try and understand the problem and devise a punishment that will not humiliate the child, but instead will help him to understand he has behaved badly. If a child feels afraid, it will only increase his inclination to lie and deceive. The first awkward, obvious lie might even make us laugh. In actual fact, it's a huge, anxious sign to parents and teachers that; The child is afraid of you and is learning to lie! Toddlers don't know what lying is. 3-5 year olds say: I'm just being clever, I'm not lying on purpose. And more often than not, they believe they are not lying, and even that they are doing the opposite. They simply don't have any desire to lie. But as children get older, their attitude towards lying changes. Here are the opinions of 7-14 year olds.
Children lie for the following reasons:
Their parents are high up and see everything from up above. They're embarrassed. They feel shy. They find it hard to say something. Their parents don't let them do things. Their parents might not realise they're lying. To stop their parents asking lots of questions. To get themselves out of some kind of situation. They know what answer their parents will give and they don't want to hear it. Children want to keep their lives secret.
It turns out that when children reach their teens, lying becomes a part of life. It builds an invisible barrier between parents and kids. And this barrier starts one's existance from the very beginning of the life of a child.
How can we steer children away from the desire to lie?
Rule number 1: Above all, try not to lie yourself. This does not always happen. If a child discovers you have lied, tell him: "Yes, it is very hard not to lie. I don't always manage it, but I am learning to be honest, and I want you to learn that too. Only strong people can tell the truth. I believe you'll grow up to be a strong person."The child won't lose respect for you if he hears something like that. In fact, he'll learn to admit his mistakes.
Rule number 2: Don't ignore even the smallest, most insignificant lie. A suitable fairytale can help you no end. You can tell young children stories using toys as aids. Take the toys and act out a situation where a child tells a lie. Discuss with the children whether the toys have behaved correctly or not.
Bunny and bear lived together and shared everything. One day, bunny bought some tasty chocolates, while bear was out for a walk. He hid the chocolates in the cupboard and thought: "I'll go to work now, and in the evening I'll come back and give bear some chocolates." But when bunny returned home, he couldn't find the chocolates in the cupboard. "Bear, did you take my chocolates?" bunny asked. "No, I didn't take them - I didn't even see them," bear replied, and he went red, quietly hiding the chocolate wrappers in his pocket. Bunny didn't say anything, but he was really upset.
After the story, ask the child:
Why do you think bunny was so upset? Who took the chocolates? What should bear do to make bunny feel better?
The story will help the child understand their behaviour more deeply then a few general words about how it is bad to lie. One should realise the great teaching assistance in a story that echoes with the child's life. When the children are older, philosophical and psychological stories can help children understand the harm that lying causes.
Rule number 3. When you're telling children off, don't humiliate them. First of all, talk about what has happened. Show the child that you're worried and upset. You can bring an 'honesty chair' into the room ? an attractive, comfy chair. Suggest the child sits in it in order to become honest. If your punishment involves depriving the child of something 'cartoons, sweets, toys or computer games - show them that you're suffering too and sympathising with them. Be a good friend to your child, even when you are punishing them. If, for example, you are punishing your child by not giving him sweets, while you do eat sweets yourself, or forbid him to watch his favourite movies while you do continue to enjoy watching tv yourself. The child feels the world is unjust if adults are allowed what he is not, and will protect himself from this injustice using lies.
Rule number 4. Try to be in all situations and under any circumstances, a good friend to your children. Remember, people don't cheat their friends. This will stop an impenetrable wall of lies dividing your family into two separate parts who don't understand each other's worlds.
Reading books and workbooks on moral education and attending relevant workshops: these are the main factors that will help you to maintain trust within the family and to teach your children how important it is to have qualities such as responsibility, honesty and strength of character. Children do not respond to sermons and lectures, but they are always prepared to listen to a fairytale or an exciting story, and then discuss, in confidence, the things that are worrying them. Both parents and teachers need teaching guidelines and good wise books to assist them in their not-so-easy tasks of upbringing of the next generation - honorable, honest, kind and wise citizens of our Planet Earth.
Copyright (c) 2008 Lilia Parker
Inspiration combined with consistent Divine Right action is still the fastest pathway to success. Visions, dreams, intentions, and words are powerful. Each of these gives passion, direction, and inspirational fuel to create magical and wondrous experiences.
However, a dreamer that refuses to take hold of the rope and climb is but a dreamer not an achiever.
An athlete that aspires to win a gold medal can absolutely improve their skills and become a better athlete using the law of attraction. However, they must still do the work of practicing their sport.
We want to teach our children that *work* and *effort* are not dirty words. We want them to love to be industrious. We want them to want to be pro-active; to take initiative, be inquisitive, and to investigate and be willing to follow their inspiration by taking action and putting forth an effort.
I feel a need to explain the problem with the Law of Attraction, as most beginner's experience it.
To successfully harness the power of your mind, intentional thought alone is not enough nor is action alone.
In my experience, many Law Of Attraction students discover the idea that all we have to do is 'think' upon what we desire and it will come to us. In theory, this is true - 'What you think about you bring about.'
However, how often do we really think *one* thought?
Or, do we have many thoughts simultaneously?
Isn't it more likely that we stroll down mental tangent lane picking up both positive and negative support for our *one* thought?
It's been estimated that Americans, for example, speak an average of 125 words per minute in a normal conversation. However, the average speed at which we listen translates to 400 - 500 words per minute.
Who's making up those extra words?
At the end of a day, an average thinker has thought 12,000 thoughts and a very deep thinker has thought 50,000!
Anyone care to write out what those thoughts were?
Do you see the challenge?
When we speak our affirmation, underneath those words are potentially hundreds of connected thought-neurons calibrating our frequency according to the collective influence of both that singular intention and our current internal map.
The topography of our internal map is comprised of the zillions of thoughts that we've accepted throughout our lives.
The challenge therefore is to find a way to minimize or release the negative beliefs/thoughts on our map and replace them with supportive beliefs/thoughts while consistently taking action in the direction of our dreams.
This tenet is critical to fully embracing the power of your mind because without taking Divine Right Action, I guarantee that you will be disappointed with the unhurried response from the Universe.
We must not only teach our children to focus upon what they desire and upon positive supporting thoughts but we must teach them to love effort and to love taking action.
Here's one example - Meditation.
One action that will support you and your children in aligning your thoughts with the essence of your unlimitedness is meditation.
Choose to meditate in your living room (where you are sure to be seen and disturbed) daily. We want our children to see us meditating.
I know what you might be thinking:
"I can't meditate. I've tried it and it doesn't work for me. I can't get my mind to quiet down! And, in my living room no less?! I certainly can't meditate with all that noise and distraction?! Besides, how does she expect me to get my children to meditate?"
Tenet # 5 in teaching your children the power of their mind is to Choose to Love Taking Action.
I'm suggesting to you that you choose to *love* taking the action of meditation.
Meditation is always in alignment with Divine Right Action - always. It's one thing you can do to demonstrate how to intentionally harness the power of Peace and the Presence of the Divine, as your primary directive. And, you'll be demonstrating the act of choosing to *love* taking action!
Choosing to meditate is an action that once practiced becomes a habit (remember tenet #4, excellence is not an act but a habit). Once you practice the habit of meditation repeatedly you will obtain mounting levels of mastery that will forever influence your ability to do everything in your life with greater awareness, ease, flow, and effortlessness.
Active meditation requires commitment. It requires that you choose to meditate even when you think repeatedly, "I can't meditate. I can't stop my thoughts! Meditation just doesn't work for me!"
Set yourself up to meditate in the living room every day where your children can see you intentionally quieting your mind. In spite of the disturbances, you'll learn to meditate and they'll learn to honor your request for quiet respect.
Meditation is one of the most powerful tools you will ever learn to intentionally transform your life for permanent peace and fulfillment. Take Divine Right Action and start meditating. Make a commitment to do it every day for the rest of your life, even if it's just a few minutes a day, and even if you 'never' get it quite right.
This tenet is not about meditation but about teaching our children that 'effort' is important and that we choose to actually *love* effort.
We want them to understand Wu Wei - (an important Taoist tenet known as effortless effort).
The effort you make with your personal projects and in life will speak volumes. You are demonstrating the importance of commitment, persistence, and the act of loving the effort.
Work and effort are not dirty words. It's the attitude that we hold about work and effort that makes them dirty. If we choose to love work and love effort, then our children's map will reflect this all important key to success.
We were born to be productive. We were born to find purposeful and meaningful work.
Tenet #5 is to teach our children that all intentional success is the perfect combination of Vision aligned with Action.
Both Lilia Parker & Anisa Aven are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Lilia Parker has sinced written about articles on various topics from Painting, Health and The Internet. Wondering how to make your child to like school and studies? Then let him to laugh and learn together with heroes of educational stories of the project Kind Book: this methodology is used widely by thousands teachers and parents in Russia, Bulgaria, India. Lilia Parker's top article generates over 27100 views. to your Favourites.
Anisa Aven has sinced written about articles on various topics from DUI, Fitness and Photography. Receive Anisa's Free Conscious Creation 101: a 5-part e-course on the basics of Manifesting by visiting