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[T38]Talking To Your Children
by Joyce Jackson, Joy
As parents, there are two main things to consider when talking to children about the subject of abuse:
1.Children may be curious about or upset by cases of child abuse reported in the media. Often these cases involve sexual abuse or abduction, but they can be physical abuse or the death of a child.

2. It's important to give children the right amount of information to keep them safe without scaring them or ruining their innocence.

It isn't really possible to protect your child completely from such stories of abuse in the news. Even if your child doesn't hear or see news items in question herself, the playground grapevine will usually quickly fill her in. It's better to be as open as possible, or she may get the facts muddled and be even more worried.

Here are some top tips for discussing such cases:

Pitch any discussion at your child's level, appropriate to their age, development and understanding. For a very young child you may just say something like: "Some bad people did a very mean thing to a child, but you don't have to worry as we will keep you safe."

For older children, you could ask her views. Listen to how much she's understood, and then gently correct any misconceptions.

For much older teenagers, it would be appropriate to discuss what is known about child abusers.

It's important to be available to talk with your child about any concerns she may have. If she's upset by a reported case of abuse, be as reassuring as possible. These cases are very rare, even though it's hard to believe when they're constantly in the media.
Stress that almost all children lead safe and happy lives, and only a very tiny percentage of adults want to hurt children in any way.

Make as much time available as possible to listen to her concerns about anything she's heard and to talk through worries with her. This is most important for older children. Younger ones are likely to be satisfied with a simple answer to questions.

Admit that none of us really knows why some adults behave in cruel ways or hurt children. There are some possible explanations - for example adults having been treated cruelly when they were children - or having a mental illness, but sometimes there's no obvious answer.

Stress that children are never to blame for any abuse, even if they've been naughty.

There are a number of ways in which parents can help to make a difference to their child's safety. From the start, you should build your child's self-esteem and confidence and developing her social skills. You can do this by:

Telling her you love her, and showing how important she is to you.

Spending time doing things she enjoys, while giving lots of praise.

Encouraging her independence with lots of opportunities to try things for herself.

Teaching her how to be assertive - that means having her own needs met but still respecting those of others.

Being available to listen to her fears and worries and assuring her she'll always be taken seriously.

Teaching sex education, including the names of body parts from an early age.

Stressing that her body belongs to her, and she has a right to say what happens to her.

Encouraging cooperation, respect and tolerance between children, and giving a positive example yourself.

How will your family adjust to the news? How will you tell them? Will they be happy or upset? These may be just some of the questions on your mind. With the proper preparation, your family will start to have fun with the idea of a new baby.

When is a good time to tell your children? This depends on their ages. Children, age ten or older, are usually excited about bringing a new baby into the family. They understand the pregnancy will take nine months for the baby to develop and grow.

Children between the ages of five and nine will have a harder time comprehending that the pregnancy will take nine months. They will recognize that your body is changing and usually have many questions.

Children under the age of five usually aren't capable of understanding that it takes nine months for the baby to arrive. You may want to wait until the second trimester to tell your children, especially very young children. This makes the waiting time a little shorter for them and gives you time to prepare for any questions they may come up with.

Regardless of the ages of your children, always be sensitive to their questions. Spend time together as a family to talk about their new sibling. Explain how you will be going through changes (both physically and emotionally) so they are not scared or worried if you experience morning sickness or other pregnancy symptoms.

Talking about feelings is very important. Ask your children how they feel about having a new sibling. Discuss with them that it's all right if they feel scared or jealous. Try to find out why they feel this way and ease their concerns. Maybe they're scared the baby will get all their toys. When you explain that the baby will have his or her own toys, your child's fear should subside. It may also help to take your child shopping to help pick out new toys for the baby.

Go through pictures with your children when they were newborns. Explain the time and attention a baby requires. If your children show interest in helping you when the baby arrives, let them. It depends on their age to what they're capable of doing but even a preschooler can get things for you such as diapers or help find a lost pacifier.

Getting the children involved with the pregnancy will help them to accept the arrival of the baby. Let them help pick out clothes, bedding and toys for the baby. Ask their opinions about themes, designs and colors for the nursery.

As your due date arrives, prepare the children for your hospital stay. Explain to them why you need to go to the hospital for the delivery. Tell them that you will be home in a couple of days and until then they can visit. When you pack your hospital overnight bag, pack their bags as well if they are staying at a relatives or a close friend's house. Allow each child to select a small inexpensive gift for the baby such as socks or bibs. Give them paper to wrap the gift themselves to bring to the baby when they visit you in the hospital. You may also want to buy inexpensive gifts for each of the children from the new baby.

With a little preparation, your children will accept the new addition to your family with open arms.
Article Source : Do You Know Where Your Children

About Author
Both Joyce Jackson & Michael Russell are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Joyce Jackson has sinced written about articles on various topics from Banking, Children and SEO Search Engine Optimization. Joyce Jackson is an educational expert and consultant in northern California. For her latest book and information see .. Joyce Jackson's top article generates over 14800 views. to your Favourites.

Michael Russell has sinced written about articles on various topics from Celebrities, Dieting and Diabetes Treatment. Michael RussellYour Independent guide.. Michael Russell's top article generates over 2240000 views. to your Favourites.
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