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[S876]Stand Up For Children
by Steven Griggs, Ph.d., Ste
ASSERTIVENESS FOR CHILDREN
In my practice as an outpatient child psychologist,
I often hear the question, "Can children be assertive?"
The answer is, for most very young children, they already are.
Kids will tell you what they want, usually immediately and
often with considerable noise if they do not get it.
Aside from congenitally shy children and a few other
diagnostic groups, most kids speak their minds one way or
another, often with their bodies. Really young ones do not
have the words to tell us their feelings, but they have little
torsos that contort or jump up and down, and they have little
mouths to scream bloody murder when they are frustrated.
Most parents are familiar with the "Terrible Two's, which
is when much of this first comes to a head. This is just the
average age for oppositional or rebellious behavior. It
actually starts when a child reaches one and one-half years.
It can go on and on, sometimes until a child reaches age four.
During these times, children are building their vocabularies.
Usually their vocabularies reflect the things in their
space--table, lamp, toy, food, TV, bed. A little later,
children start using words to reflect a greater range of
interests and cognitive ability. "I'm hungry but I don't want
broccoli. Can I stay up past bedtime? My brother took my
shoes so I punched him." Also about the same time, probably
around late pre-school or early kindergarten, children start
using words that show they can read or add numbers or know their
colors, regardless of the objects.
As a child psychologist, I have noted that children do not
usually have a vocabulary of their feelings. They do not use
words like "angry" or "hurt." They will often act angry, hurt
or afraid, but will usually not say the word until the parent
ask, "Are you angry, hurt or afraid?" Then, the child will
usually say yes, but again, not use the word.
One of the things I try to do in my office is teach kids a
vocabulary of their feelings. On my office door is one of
those large colored posters of sixteen faces, each depicting an
emotion. Right under each face is the word for that feeling.
Kids usually cannot tell me what the word is for their feelings,
but they can instantly point to the correct face. Then, I can
show them and tell them the word that describes how they feel.
Surprisingly, it only takes once or twice for a child to put the
face together with the correct word.
I once had a two year old that could not sit still.
He was not ADHD and did not have any learning disabilities.
He was just anxious. I told him that he was anxious and of
course, he did not have a clue what I meant. Then I put it
into his language; meaning, Igave a very concrete example.
I said to the little boy, "Being anxious is when you have
butterflies in your tummy." His eyes got very big. He said,
"Do I have butterflies in my tummy?" I said, "No, but when you
are anxious Your tummy feels like it, just like it feels right
now. It makes you want to not sit still." He got it
right away. The next week, this little boy came running down
the hallway, practically yelling, "Dr. Steve, Dr. Steve,
I'm anxious." His mother almost fainted, but it shows us that
children are capable of quickly understanding a lot about their
feelings at a very young age.
The reason this is important is because assertiveness has
two major components. The first is more intellectual, or say
cognitive. We have to express some idea, preferably with words.
But, the second aspect is feeling. Adults do not express this
very well either, which is probably why kids are not taught it.
To be assertive, one has to communicate at the content level
(the most superficial, issue based, usually intellectual level)
plus let the listener know something about the emotion underneath.
Assertiveness doubles in effectiveness when we add a verbal
description of our feeling/emotion as we are describing what we
think or want. Can kids do this? Absolutely.
I have written an ebook about the five steps of assertiveness
that goes into the basics and a lot more with considerable depth.
But guess what? All of the information can be translated to our
kids we just speak their language.

Dr. Griggs

Poetry is one of the first interactions with literature that young children have. Nursery rhymes and silly songs give children the foundation for reading by helping them understand the relationship of sounds and letters through rhymes. As children get older, poetry helps them understand how to express complex thoughts, feelings, and ideas through words.

Poetry can be introduced to children as early as infancy. Simple rhymes recited in a singsong manner are great for small children. Babies enjoy these fun songs and, by the toddler years, she will begin to sing along. During the toddler and preschool years, introduce your child to a variety of poetry that rhymes. Recite and memorize classic Mother Goose poems, like “The Cat and the Fiddle” or “Little Boy Blue,” and read rhyming books, like those by Dr. Seuss.

Provide your child with a selection of poetry books designed for children as well as their other books. Guidecraft's creative selection of bookshelves make a great place to store your child's books and poems. Continue to change the poetry selections with the other books as your child gets older. Encourage her to read poems about things that interest her, like poems about horses or poetry about nature.

Encourage your preschooler to create her own poems. Help her by providing sentence prompts for silly limericks, like “There once was a ______, who lived in a _____.” Help her complete the blanks with funny words that rhyme and read the poem together. Make up simple rhymes together about various events as well.

Kindergartners and first graders can enjoy more complex poetry. It is still a good idea to expose children to plenty of poetry that rhymes as they are learning to read, but they can also learn that not all poetry needs to rhyme. Read poetic books together, like those by Shel Silverstein, and work on memorizing a few favorite poems of various styles and lengths.

Begin to introduce your kindergartner or first grader to a few simple forms of poetry and encourage him to write his own. Cinquains are a great form to begin with. A simple cinquain consists of five lines with the number of syllables increasing in each line, then returning to the beginning form. To compose a cinquain, your child should choose one two syllable word for the poem's title. The next line will be two words or four syllables that elaborates on the name of the poem. The third line will express an action that related to the title, and will consist of three words or six syllables. For the fourth line, your child should express a feeling about the title using four words or eight syllables. He final line of the cinquain is similar to the first line with only one word or two syllables relating to the title.

As your child gets older, continue to broaden his knowledge of poetry. Introduce new poets, especially those noted for their work, and explore different techniques poets have used through time. Examine and compose a variety of poetic forms with your child, including haikus, acrostics, and concrete poetry that is written in a form to resemble the poem's topic. Encourage your child to create their own free verse poems as well as structured forms of poetry throughout their childhood.

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Both Steven Griggs, Ph.d. & Nicole Munoz are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Steven Griggs, Ph.d. has sinced written about articles on various topics from Marketing, Cure Anxiety and Health. For more information about this ebook and the other ones by this author, go to: For more information about t. Steven Griggs, Ph.d.'s top article generates over 14800 views. to your Favourites.

Nicole Munoz has sinced written about articles on various topics from Cooking Tips, Careers and Job Hunting and SEO Articles. For more tips and information about , check out http:. Nicole Munoz's top article generates over 74000 views. to your Favourites.
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