This means that you will be spending more than double the time with your spouse than you spent with your parents.
With such a large amount of time being spent with another person, it is a given that you are going to clash now and again.
Sometimes, however, the fighting gets so bad that one or the other of you may decide to quit your relationship all together. So how do you save a relationship that seems to be headed down the toilet?
1) Recognize Reality
The first thing you have to do is recognize why you are fighting.
Are you fighting because you are truly mad at each other, or are you fighting because you are upset that some jerk at your office accused you of something you did not do?
You live together and are friends, of course, so it makes sense that you take out your moods and pent-up emotions on each other. However, this can cause a lot of problems. Before your anger escalates to the boiling point, stop and figure out exactly why you are angry.
If you are frustrated about something at work, let your lover know. They are the person you should be able to turn to when things aren't going the way you want them to.
2) Find the Calm
The calmer you are, the more likely your spouse will be to take you seriously. People are more likely to listen to the words of a calm person than they are to someone who would not stop ranting and raving.
One way in which you can learn to remain calm is to take up meditation or yoga. Simple breathing techniques that are taught in these disciplines can help you to learn to stay calm, even in the midst of a really difficult argument.
When you learn these breathing techniques, you may be able to stave off the argument entirely, which is one way to help save your relationship.
3) Agree to Disagree
No two people are going to agree on everything all of the time. It would be a pretty boring world if we all did!
One of my male friend's, John, believes that his daughter should not have earrings until she is 14, while his wife (also someone I know) believe that she should be allowed to have them anytime after the age of four.
This is an argument that threatened to tear both my friend and his spouse apart.
Finally, upon my advice, they both agreed to disagree about the earring situation.
They figured that, when she got older, she would convince him herself.
Sometimes you have to put aside your strong feelings and realize that your lover has strong feelings, as well. It is perfectly all right to agree to disagree!
4) Teamwork
Instead of fighting against each other, come together and work for, or against, something. If you have children, work toward giving them the best life you can give them.
If you are against something in your town, work toward getting it resolved. If you're into sports, join a team together.
The couple that plays together, stays together!
5) Dance and Romance
When my boyfriend and I first got together, we used to spend hours just talking late at night. We would both be exhausted the next morning from the time we spent awake, chatting with each other.
As our relationship got further and further apart, we realized that we never stayed up talking anymore. One evening the music was on and I grabbed him and started dancing around the room with him.
The simple act made us happy and made us realize how much we loved just being in each other's arms.
Dance and romance your partner. Sometimes swaying slowly together in a darkened kitchen is one of the nicest ways to reconnect.
Relationships are tricky things. When you put two people together for a long amount of time, they are bound to fight and bicker. If the bickering gets bad enough, things can disassemble quite quickly.
Find ways to show your lover how much you care about them. Put silly little love notes in their lunchbox. Write a message in the steam on the bathroom mirror, so that the next time they take a shower they will see the message.
Grab some lipstick and write "I love you" on their car window while they're at work or busy doing something else. Realize that nobody's perfect, and focus more on reconnecting with your loved one rather than winning a battle.
Not a lot of people want to because for a lot of people, divorce is the only answer in big marital conflicts. Sometimes, divorce sounds like a salvation from stress, pressure, and pain. If a marriage is under deep pressure, divorce seems to sound like an escape to paradise, an escape from problems. People tend to assume that after filing for divorce; stress, pressure, and pain will also go away.
But let's look at it in a practical point of view and see just what exactly happens during the filing for a divorce and after a divorce. Does it really take out all the stress and pain as it seems to promise?
Okay, let's look at it first in a financial perspective. A lot of people tend to overlook this area. They are too busy seeing it as a way out of stress that they forget about the financial aspect of a divorce.
Financially, a divorce isn't a good thing at all. When you file for a divorce, you not only lose a partner but a source of income as well. If your spouse isn't working, you'd still have to hold responsibility for them financially and you would also lose the perk of having someone stay at home to take care of household responsibilities. You might have to hire a help, which could take a lot from your budget. Not only that, but your conjugal properties will be divided too, subtracting a big amount from your assets.
On second thought, that was just the second to the worst part. The worst part is this: all the amount of money you're going to have t o waste on divorce. Do you know how horribly expensive petitioning and processing a divorce is? Lawyers get filthy rich with just one divorce case alone! They charge at an unbelievable hourly rate and that rate gets higher and higher each year. At that rate, the more you spend time dividing assets between each other, the lesser assets you're gonna have to divide!
Most people don't realize just how much a divorce can change them lives for the worse while by simply trying to save a marriage; they can make life way better. With the skyrocketing costs of getting a divorce, and the amount of income that could be slashed from you, you might have to sell some of your properties. You might end up renting 'cause the mortgage would then become too steep for you. You might have to settle for a cheaper lifestyle!
Both Cucan Pemo & Tracey Pierce are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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