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1. Are overseas brides only for losers who can't find partners in their own countries?
Of course not. It is an unfortunate truth that overseas brides sometimes attract the sorts of men that nobody back home wants, but they represent only a fraction of the men who choose overseas brides. Don't forget that a couple of decades ago people considered "computer dating" to be a way for nerds to find dates – but today it has become a popular and accepted way to find a partner.
2. Are mail order brides all money hungry green card hounds?
Mostly not. Be careful of course – it IS a jungle out there. Just as loser men seek “mail order brides”, so do scamstresses see Western men as walking green cards (with luck they'll all end up married to the losers). You should at least consider the services on an international matchmaking agency rather than going it alone on the free Internet sites, because if they're reputable, then part of their fees go towards weeding out the scammers.
3. What do these women want, anyway?
The good ones want the same thing local women want -home, family, children, and love. As for the bad ones – well, need I even go into it? The point is that there are good ones out there.
4. Why are these women looking abroad for men?
A lot of reasons:
(i) They may be facing a life of poverty at home.
(ii) Their culture may relegate women to a low social status – after all, in some cultures a wife is considered little more than a maid / nanny / baby factory.
(iii) "Western guys look like movie stars" - I'm serious. Asia is the only part of the world where I get told I look like Mel Gibson. Well, we're both white, but I'm fairly certain that's about where the resemblance ends. But thanks anyway, Hollywood! .
(iv) It's cold at home! If you were a Russian woman, wouldn't you have to seriously consider a proposal from a man who lived in Orlando?
1. Profiles can only tell you so much. Most of the profiles you'll see are fairly generic: "family values", "kind and gentle", “subordinate to her husband”, "respectful", "strong maternal values", etc. Far less often will you hear descriptions such as “adventurous” or "passionate". Perhaps these women think these qualities are not what men want, but she is definitely gonna need them in order to successfully adapt to living in a foreign culture.
2. More mail order brides than you might think are well educated and professionally successful at home. The image of the impoverished, uneducated woman waiting for Prince Charming to swoop in and rescue her for a better life in a rich country is all too often not true. One of these kinds of women seek to marry and live abroad is their perception that their homeland lacks good husbands. In strongly male-dominated societies, men can be quite intimidated by a successful, intelligent woman.
3. They're not all out for money even if they are poor. While a better standard of living would have to be taken into consideration to marry a Westerner (which is why you don't see many mail order brides from Canada, Japan, or New Zealand, to name a few), you don't need to be rich to attract a bride from overseas. If you run into a gold digger, run the other way.
4. Her limited English skills may not be as big a problem as you might think. Of course, she'll ned to speak at least a bit of English unless you can speak her native language. But once you get her home she will have plenty of chances to practice, so she will inevitably improve.
5. Cultural differences don't necessarily weaken a marriage. The US Department for Citizenship and Immigration Services has estimated that the divorce rate for mail order brides is about 20%.
6. Walk like a man. Most mail order brides are from male-dominated cultures. Although most of these women are seeking a husband who will not demand submission from them, they do, more than most American women, desire a MAN. That means be decisive and don't act like a wuss-bag, begging for her approval. Many mail order brides are quite beautiful used to being groveled to, and SICK of having to choose between a domineering man who treats her like a diamond necklace and a weak man who worships the ground she walks on (but can't see past her beauty).