It's something most parents don't want to hear but the sad fact is that the most influential people in your teen's life are their friends. Most parents like to think that they have some say in what their teenage child does, but the truth is that most parents sorely underestimate the power of peer pressure.
Peer pressure can turn a perfectly level headed child into class-cutting, insolent, problem child. Why is this? Well, several reasons. First teens are not children, and they're not adults so you can't use either form of psychology on them. A teen's body is under the chemical influence of hormones. You're not dealing with a rational person. Hormones are powerful chemicals, and they are telling your teen to exert their independence""and they do.
You'll find that once puberty hits, whatever unresolved family problems lying just under the surface will be rear their heads and be magnified a thousand times. Resentments about past hurts and difficulties will show themselves in numerous, albeit destructive ways. For example, when you missed out on an important event in their life as a child, a temper tantrum may have consisted of a crying spell and a slammed door.
That same scenario played out in the teen years may consist of partying with friends, sex, and/or drug use. It all depends on the social network your child is associating with. High school can be a tough world. Learning to copy with emotions and peer pressure is hard enough, let alone maintaining any self esteem.
Despite their efforts to appear nonchalant, teens are psychologically fragile. Stress can be induced by peers in the form of gossip, bullying, teasing, or having to say 'no' to risky behaviors like drinking, drugs, or other risky behaviors.
Stress can also come from not joining the "in crowd' and fear of rejection. Does your child have the tools to emotionally cope with these daily battles? Are you equipped to help them deal with conflicts, cliques, and drugs?
To complicate matters, teens have their own language. Do you know what "bud'? is? No, it's not a beer. Do you like's your teen's friends? Do you know who they are? Does your teen spend time on sites like Facebook or MySpace? What are they doing online? These are just a few questions you should know the answers to.
If you feel like your teen is slipping away, it's your responsibility as a parent to pull them back in. Learn to recognize signs of stress and show them healthy way to deal with it. Also, be a good example. Don't yell and scream if you unless you want them to do the same. You've guided them up to this point, don't stop now. Address the problem and assert your parental rights.
Many of the shocking statics regarding teens and online chat reveal some very disturbing trends that parents should take to hart.
A parent's internet monitoring study done in Canada found that:
? Over half (51%) of parents either do not have or do not know if they have software on their computer(s) that monitors where their teenager(s) go online and with whom they interact.
? 42% of parents do not review the content of what their teenager(s) read and/or type in chat rooms or via instant messaging.
? Teenagers who Instant Message use chat lingo to communicate and parents don't know the meanings of some of the most commonly used phrases. 57% don't know LOL (Laughing Out Loud), 68% don't know BRB (Be Right Back), and 92% don't know A/S/L (Age/Sex/Location).
? 95% of parents couldn't identify common chat room lingo that teenagers use to warn people they're chatting with that their parents are watching. Those phrases are POS (Parent Over Shoulder) and P911 (Parent Alert).
? Nearly three out of 10 (28%) of parents don't know or are not sure if their teens talk to strangers online.
? 30% of parents allow their teenagers to use the computer in private areas of the house such as a bedroom or a home office. Parents say they are more vigilant about where their teen(s) go online if the computer is in a public area of the household.
? 58% of parents surveyed say they review the content of what their teenager(s) read and/or type in chat rooms or via Instant Messaging; 42% do not.
And more statistics on teen peer pressure, cyber bullying, and sexually explicit internet use:
? Approximately one in five received a sexual solicitation or approach over the Internet in the last year.
? One in thirty-three received an aggressive sexual solicitation ? a solicitor who asked to meet them somewhere; called them on the telephone; sent them regular mail, money, or gifts.
? One in four had an unwanted exposure to pictures of naked people or people having sex in the last year.
? One in seventeen was threatened or harassed.
? Approximately one quarter of young people who reported these incidents were distressed by them.
? Less than 10 percent of sexual solicitations and only 3 percent of unwanted exposure episodes were reported to authorities such as a law-enforcement agency, an Internet Service Provider, or a hotline.
? About one quarter of the youth who encountered a sexual solicitation or approach told a parent. Almost 40 percent of those reporting an unwanted exposure to sexual material told a parent.
? Only 17 percent of youth and approximately 10 percent of parents could name a specific authority, such as the Federal Bureau of Investigation, CyberTipline, or an Internet Service Provider, to which they could make a report, although more said they had "heard of" such places.
? In households with home Internet access, one third of parents said they had filtering or blocking software on their computer at the time they were interviewed.
We hope that after taking a minute to read these statistics that you will re evaluate your teens use of the internet and chat rooms, and discuss these statistics with your teen.
Both Clara Myers & Amy Cainfield are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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