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1. For youngsters who say that they will quit school and go on welfare, ask them to name the states where welfare is still readily available on an on-going basis, as was common years ago. Answer: There are no states that fit that description, however they could consider moving to Guam, the only state/territory in the U.S. that did not dramatically slice aid in recent years. The average state cut welfare by a staggering 53%!
2. This intervention is very odd, but people just adore it. It is perfect to give to parents of normally courteous teens who are in the "mean and surly" phase that so many adolescents go through. This intervention was actually a staple at my house for several years. This intervention only works if you have a pet; we had a beloved dog. When my teen-age son would interact with a parent in a surly or condescending manner, that parent would ask him to treat us as good he treats the dog. It became a family joke, that if you wouldn't talk "that way" to Max (the dog), then you couldn't talk that way to Mom or Dad either. Simply saying: "Please treat me at least as good as the dog" was a reliable way to get a smile (and more courtesy) even in the midst of the most difficult or tense interaction.
3. Here is an intervention from a participant in our workshop. It is unusual, but effective. It is for use with students who think that school is a waste, or that it's "not cool" to do well in school. As if telling a joke, say to the youngster: "What do you call an 'A' student?" Answer: "Boss."
4. Show youngsters how impossible life in the 2000's may be without education. To capture the frustration and inconvenience that can occur on a minute-to-minute basis if you lack a complete education, ask your students to just order lunch. Have them choose from "gegrilde lamskoteletten" or "hartige maaltijdseop". When students complain, that they have no idea what any of those words mean, let them know that this will be a common complaint for people who forgo education in our high tech times. (The menu choices are written in Dutch and mean grilled lamb chops and soup.) Discuss how people who lack education may feel like foreigners in their own land.
5. For students who say that their parents have gotten by without a diploma, it is key to capture how inhospitable the world is becoming to people who lack that degree. Teach your students that their degree is their "Ticket to the New Millennium." Here are "4 Frightening Facts for Dropouts": (1) The income of dropouts has plunged 70% in the last 20 years. (2) Dropouts are more likely to land in prison. (3) Dropouts are more likely to rely on public assistance (4) Dropouts tend to earn about $15,000 per year vs. $29,000 per year for those who get that high school degree. You may choose to change the phrasing on these four points to become "4 Fantastic Facts for Graduates." (Data source: USA Today.)
6. This is one of my personal favorite interventions. It is perfect for this time of year. It is for use with students who may not have many goals, or may fail to work very hard towards goals. Say to your students: Martin Luther King Jr. died for his dreams. What are you willing to do to live your dreams? January 21, 2002 is MLK Day in the U.S. If necessary, preface this intervention by exposing your students to Dr. King's accomplishments, and include at least a portion of his powerful "I Have a Dream" speech.
7. When students complain that their counselor or teacher treats them unfairly. Have them write that counselor or teacher a letter detailing their complaints. Some students may be able to vent their anger just by putting their complaints on paper. Others may actually decide to send the letter if that might be helpful to remedy the problems. Teachers and counselors often relay concerns to students; students are not always given the chance to communicate their concerns to adults. Students can be given fill-in-the-blank forms to use instead of writing letters. For example, "The one thing I like about your class is..." and "The one thing I wish you would do differently is..." Students tend to really admire the courage and dedication of adults who care so much about doing a good job, that they are willing to be open to evaluation from young people.
8. A workshop participant offers this answer when students say "that's not part of your job!" or hassle him about his role with them. He responds like this: "My job is to get you do what you don't want to do so you can become what you do want to become."
9. Here's a popular intervention for students who repeatedly nag, beg or ask again for what they want after hearing "no." You can say to the youngster: "Ask once, you're assertive. Ask more than twice, you're aggressive." A light, humorous variation on this answer is: "What part of 'no' didn't you understand?"
10. This list of strategies is just a list. To effectively teach or counsel children, you can't just rely on catchy strategies. You have to have the full picture of the child. So, no annual Top 10 List of Interventions should go out without a reminder that children and youth almost never step up and nice and neatly announce their distress.
Children seldom politely request an extension on their homework because "science seems terribly irrelevant because I was raped last night." Your job must include spotting and responding to troubles and trauma that aren't necessarily clear or apparent. No list of strategies can help you do that, but please add one item to your own personal list: to update or expand your skills to ensure that you are highly prepared to identify and aid the damaged children you will serve in this new year.
The past year was a year of special pain for many, including many children. 2001 was a year when the world became a more dangerous place for many, including many children. As you begin 2002, and renew your commitment to your children and your work, please consider these words spotted on a banner: "The world is dangerous not because of those who do harm, but because of those who look at it without doing anything." Please do something in 2002 to make the world better for troubled children living in our troubled times.
80% of teacher training tends to be on content, with only about 20% of training focusing on the "human factors," those minute-to-minute problems with your youngsters that dominate each day. Whether you are a teacher, counselor, social worker or psychologist, there are days that you run out of answers.
Here is your chance to get the answers you need for your most challenging youth problems. Eavesdrop on the questions posed in our Live Expert Help area of our web site, and perhaps your question will be answered. Have a question for Live Help? Click on the Live Help icon at our site,link below.
Q: Do you have any ideas how to get young children to show up at our site when no parent seems willing to assist the child to attend?
A: We believe in the ends justify the means in this area, meaning that unless it violates your site's rules or policies, then do it if it will help the child to attend. Your service is just that important, that you should do whatever it takes to get the child in. Actions can include waking the child by phone, picking up the child in the morning, or securing an alarm clock for the youngster to use. You can also use our popular "Countdown to School (or Agency) Schedule" or make a facsimile of it. The "Countdown to School Schedule" lists times for the child to perform the actions needed to get ready for school. It compensates a bit for the lack of vital family supervision.
BONUS INTERVENTION:
If you work with young children, you know that many can't tell time and may not reliably know numbers, so put a piece of tape under the place where the numbers will click in on a digital clock. On the tape, write the time you want the child to get up. So, you might put a "7" on the tape, and teach the child to get up and go when the number on the clock matches the number on the tape. It is sad to have you taking over the family's job, but if you have been unable to engage the family, this may be an option worth considering.
BONUS INTERVENTION:
For very young children, just teach them to "get up and go," and wait a bit before adding in other less crucial tasks like washing the face, for example. Once the child masters the basics, you can add on more tasks. In the meantime, you may want to have a few snacks, some sweatshirts, etc. to fill in the gaps. Whether an older youth, a younger child, a cold or hungry kid will have difficulty benefitting from your service. Be sure to also expose the child to plenty of motivation-makers; there are a few on our site, and hundreds in our books. A child who believes that your service is incredibly important, may work harder to arrive.
Q: I am so frustrated trying to get some parents to do their job! What ideas do you have to get parents to do what they are supposed to do?
A: By the time you run into a troubled family, the problems have been in that system for a long time. We actually do not recommend that people who are not family therapists continue to spend large amounts of time working to engage parents who never seem to improve. If you are a teacher with 30 in your classroom, or a school counselor with a caseload of 500, for example, it is not realistic that in your brief seconds of "spare time," you somehow magically turnaround deeply troubled families. In your spare time, you probably will not be able to get that mom to finally stop drinking, or that dad to suddenly recognize the importance of your service. Instead, we recommend that you discontinue or reduce your repeatedly unsuccessful efforts with the adults, and devote all or most of your energy to helping the child succeed without family support. The ideas shown above, on helping even young children attend your site without family aid, are an example of what we mean. Yes, this is tragic, but you can still succeed with the child even though you may never succeed with the parents. The child is your real target, and where the best hope for success may lie.
Q: We are seeing more and more kids who are incredibly mean and violent, and it seems like absolutely nothing I do makes them behave. What can I do that would work better?
A: This is one of the most frequent questions we get. 11-15% of your population are conduct disorders. That is a mental health term that a mental health professional can apply to some extremely hurtful kids. The way you work with conduct disorders, and kids you believe might be conduct disorders, differs dramatically from conventional approaches. Conventional approaches will consistently fail with this portion of your kids. You have to use a different set of tools, or else you will continue to feel that virtually nothing you do yields any useful results. We have a good resource for you on this. Go to our site, link below, where some of the basics on conduct disorders are spelled out.
Q: Can you explain to me what Aspergers is? And, what should I do?
A: Aspergers is a constellation of symptoms that varies from child to child. It may be related to autism, and is not fully understood. Only a counselor or medical professional can diagnose it. Some common symptoms are inappropriate social behaviors, distractibility, developmental delays, and repetitive talk or actions. It's more common in males. Unlike autistic children, language and cognitive functioning may not be as significantly delayed or impaired. Also, this disorder may be identified later, or occur later than autism. It is often misdiagnosed. We suggest that you not let the terminology confuse you-- even though many professionals are understandably confused by this diagnostic term. Instead, focus on the specific problems you see in the individual child, then prioritize the concerns and work on them systematically. We suggest you focus on three areas at a time.
BONUS INTERVENTION:
If you have developed good methods to work with ADD-affected children, some of those methods will work well with Aspergers-affected youth. For example: for problematic verbal interactions, you can teach your ADD- or Aspergers-affected child how to make Opening, Middle and Closing Lines, as a way to give them essential everyday conversational skills. Opening Lines initiate the conversation, Middle Lines continue it, and Closing Lines terminate it.