Have you ever noticed how often people rely on others in their pursuit of happiness? How they expect someone else to make them happy? You might hear people say things like: "If only he would be nicer." "Didn't she know that would hurt my feelings?" "I would be happy if he would only talk to me more."
When people have this idea in their head they can spend a lot of time figuring out how to fix or change other people.
What's the trouble if you try this strategy? Not only do the other people feel irritated, they often get defensive at your attempt to "FIX" them. And it leaves you powerless. If THEY don't change, YOU can't be happy.
But even more important is that, since what you focus your attention on grows, focusing on what you don't like will cause it to become what you notice most in your life.
Say, for example, when your significant other comes home they often leave a trail with their clothes, bags, books, whatever, strewn throughout the house. It drives you nuts! Every time you look at the residue of stuff they leave behind them, you feel irritated.
This has gone on for so long that now you notice every little piece of debris, everywhere you look, all the time.
And what you focus your attention on grows.
Perhaps you say something like this to them: "Can't you pick up after yourself? You are such a slob."
It's probably not the first time you've talked about the clothes on the floor. And probably not much has changed since that first time. So what happens next?
The person leaving the clothes around probably gets annoyed at being told what to do. You lose hope that things will ever change. And you focus more and more on what you don't enjoy about your partner.
Remember, what you focus your attention on grows!
So here it is, the step that will move you closer to being happier than ever before: Develop YOUR ability to focus your attention on what you ENJOY.
Maybe this sounds too simple. But ask yourself: "What would my day be like if I started and ended it by simply noticing or remembering everything that I enjoy in my life?"
Remember, what you focus your attention on grows. Focus on what you enjoy - it's quite simply the fastest, easiest step you can take to start finding happiness in every moment.
Try this. Pretend that you have an emotional bank account. Every one of your thoughts makes a deposit. This means that if you're constantly depositing painful memories in your emotional bank account, they will grow and grow.
They'll even start multiplying if you're using the law of compound interest. What's this? It's compounding the effect of thoughts like: "What a slob!" with more thoughts like: "She doesn't care about me." or "He's the most selfish person I've ever met."
Now, do you feel happy?
Now imagine that each day, you look for things that you enjoy, and you are thankful for them.
Your significant other comes into the house and smiles. Is that something to be thankful for? They ask you if you would like a cup of tea. Is that something to be thankful for? You see them put something away, without being asked. Is that something to be thankful for?
Now imagine depositing these memories in your emotional bank account, day after day. And compound them with as many other thankful, grateful thoughts as you can so they grow and grow. "It's lovely when he brings me tea; he's so considerate sometimes." "I'm so glad we like doing things together." "We just have so much in common; she is so much fun to be with"
How do you feel now?
Happy or sad, good or bad, pleasure or pain - authentic happiness is up to you. Focus on what you enjoy. Enjoy being thankful. It's something anyone can do, even you.
What you focus your attention on will grow. You do have an emotional bank account so start saving your happiness up today. With a bank-full of thankful, you'll be a master at the art of "having happiness now."
Everybody sets definite goals in life, goals like fame, power, money, a life partner and good health among many others. Everyone has different aspirations towards their lives, and different things make different people happy. You need to recognize the things that make you happy, if you do not want to gamble with life.
Happiness is not as simple as capturing a great visual with a modern camera. Artists carve out statues from pieces of wood or stone, and musicians look within and use their emotions as an inspiration to creating music. Still, the art of happiness is not as simple as carving statues or making music. What really tells you that you are happy? Is it just the new car or the new TV the you purchased? They are merely the fruits of your labor.
Happiness is a state of mind. The art of happiness is learning to get into that state of mind by living your life to its healthy fullest. Think about this - would you become a great tennis player simply by purchasing the best racket that money can buy? Or would you become a better player by practicing the game day in and day out? Such is the art of a happy life as well.
Money can help only so much. The rest lies in living every moment as you should be living it. Try and assess your life keeping that in mind. Have you made the people you love happy? Have you achieved the goals that you promised yourself you would or are you at least working towards them? Are you where you thought you would be at the given age that you are? If your answer to the above questions is a yes, then you would be in a happy state of mind.
Happiness is all about the present state of your mind. Learn to forget the past especially if it was an unhappy one. Make new goals for yourself and make a path to get you there. There is nothing more fulfilling than planning something and achieving it. Getting something by fluke is never as exciting or fulfilling. Finally make sure that the goals you set for yourself are mature or realistic. Having a pie in the sky dream will only lead to a feeling of failure eventually. Recognize your talents and set achievable goals.
The art of happiness deals with greater inner feelings rather than just material success. If happiness were subject only to material gains, the richest people would be the happiest! But it is not so, and do keep that in mind. Learn to live a healthy life by living each day complete in itself, completing the goals you had set for yourself for that day. The feeling of satisfaction from living such a life is immense, and that is how you work towards refining the art of happiness.
Both Beth Banning & Abhishek Agarwal are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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Abhishek Agarwal has sinced written about articles on various topics from Surveys, Camping and Camping. Abhishek is a self-proclaimed Personality Development Guru and has written several books on this topic! Visit his website and Download. Abhishek Agarwal's top article generates over 368000 views. to your Favourites.