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[B9]Baby Boomers Dating Site

by Dan Skriver, Dan

It is not easy to establish new relationships, when you are out of practice in the fine art of dating for so long. At best you're a little shy and at worst you're terrified. However, that is not the only problem.

Even if you can deal with the fear and the apprehension there is still the question of how to get started.

When we were younger it seems that often we met our potential mates through university, sports, work, friends, etc.

Some boomers get lucky, but for the most part it does not work out for whatever reasons. However, hope springs eternal and the solution is right in front of most of us.

If you have not guessed it by now, I am talking about the computer and online dating.

OK! - I can hear you say "It's not for me!" Now listen, you read this far, so do yourself a favor and hear me out!

Online dating should still be approached with common sense and caution, but it has come a long way in recent years.

A good hand full of my single baby boomer friends, both male and female, tell me that they are very comfortable dating online and a few have even found their current partner this way.

There is much advice and many tips floating around about how to date successfully online and here is how you can get started:

First you should find a reputable online dating service. There are many, but if do the following research you should have no problem.

First you type "online dating" into Google and you look at all the sites that come up. Once you have a list of sites you like you do a search on each name. Try adding the word "review" to your search. Eliminate any site you do not find or do not like the look of.

Once you have selected three or four sites, follow them for a few weeks to gauge the level of activity. Regardless if it is a paid or a free site, don't waste your time if there is no activity. And remember, if something looks too good to be true, it usually is.

So you make your selection and register on a couple of online dating services.

You have written a good, truthful profile and uploaded a nice looking, recent picture of yourself. What now?

How do you start separating those who have real potential and those who don't have any potential at all?

You need to find out something about who this stranger really is and not just who he or she pretends to be. It would be nice if people wore labels like "Gold Digger" "Casanova", "Mummy's boy" or "Daddy's girl", but they don't so it's up to you to find these things out, and you can't just ask direct questions.

You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this person if you decide you want to do that.

After you are past the initial small talk, ask, "What are the biggest mistakes people make when dating online?" Listen carefully to the answers. It's going to tell you a lot about this person in general.

Next you should ask, "What do you really think about online dating?" The answer should help you to avoid making any fatal mistakes.

Now for the all-important one - "What caused the break up in your last relationship?" If someone else is blamed, you should probably move on to the next prospect. If the person takes all the blame, you should probably do the same.

If the breakup was by mutual consent or the relationship just wasn't right for either of them, you've heard the right answer. Move forward but always with caution.

Asking the right questions will give you insight and make you more confident when you meet the person for the first time.

There are many Baby Boomers who are single as a result of the death of aspouse or a divorce. They may have been alone for years for a number ofreasons, but one of the most compelling reasons is that they are afraid to get?out there? and date again. For many, it's been decades since they?velast had to dress to impress and feign interest in the most boringsubjects. They've lost confidence and think they would not be able topull off a date and furthermore things have changed much since they last dated.

Here are seven tips to take to get you back on the dating train before youknow it.

1) Make sure you are ready. For most, this isprobably the hardest first ste. After losing your partner of so many years,how can you even think about looking for another to possibly replacehim/her? It is almost inconceivable, right. If you think this way,you're probably not ready. On the other hand, you may say: Myspouse is not coming back and I have to get on with my life. What we hadwas truly special, but now it's over and while I cherish those memories, Iwould like to make new ones with another special person. This is a greatsign that you're ready to start dating.

2) Don't go looking for your partner. It's very easyto compare people you meet with your former partner, don't do it. This isnot a healthy way to start a relationship and, in the end, you'll be verydisappointed as you'll never find him/her. Try to approach the person withan open mind and look for characteristics that you like rather than that arealike your former spouse's. If you're unable to do so, you might not beready for the dating scene.

3) Stick with your peers. Young people make everyonearound them feel young as well. For this reason, some Baby Boomers may bevery attracted to someone much younger than themselves. While there isnothing wrong with this per se, be sure that you're doing this for the rightreasons. This person should be placed under the same scrutiny your olderneighbor underwent before you decided not to take him/her up on the lunchoffer. If you simply want to feel young, may I suggest a new, excitinghobby like mountain climbing, speed racing or motorcycling?

4) Go looking for a date in familiar places. If youdon't usually go to bars, do not go to bar to find a date. Chances areyou'll find someone who is nothing like what you expected and the wholeexperience might but a damper on your enthusiasm for dating. If you go tothe library, then look for a date there. You know already that you shareat least one similar interest and this can be the subject of the ice breakingconversation.

5) Choose a familiar location for the first date. Going on a first date is stressful enough for anyone, so you don't want to addto the stress load by being in unfamiliar surroundings. Go to someplacethat's relaxing and not too noisy. If you and your date live in the sameneighborhood, go to a local sidewalk caf? for brunch or lunch. This way you?llfeel more at home and not half as self-conscious as you'd normally feel.

6) Stay in the now. Do not try to analyze your dateor his/her behavior before the night's over. Take time to give him/her afair chance at winning you over. Listen keenly and ask pertinentquestions that show that you understand what's being said. Don't get toofar ahead of yourself. Enjoy the moments.

7) Look for a friend not a spouse. Do not go on adate looking for another spouse. Try to find a friend first. Theperson you date may not end up being your spouse, but could make a very, verygood friend for many years to come.

Dating can be as much fun as it is scary. It really depends on yourattitude towards it. Keep a positive mindset and make sure you knowsomething about the person before going on a date with him/her. Do notmake your first date a blind date. It will prove an added source ofstress that you really don't need. Find your own date and go forit. If it doesn't work out, at least you will have had a good time andpossibly gained a good friend.

Share with us your dating tips for Baby Boomers at BoomerYearbook.com andlog on daily for dating tips for baby, echo and booming senior.

www.boomeryearbook.com is a social networking site connecting the BabyBoomer generation. Share your thoughts, rediscover old friends, or expand yourmind with brain games provided by clinical psychologist, Dr. Karen Turner. Jointoday to discover the many ways we are helping Boomers connect for fun andprofit.

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About Author

Both Dan Skriver & Ravi are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Dan Skriver has sinced written about articles on various topics from self improvement and motivation, Finances and Flirting Tips. Dan Skriver is a writer and assistant editor at , writing about issues important to the. Dan Skriver's top article generates over 5400 views. to your Favourites.

Ravi has sinced written about articles on various topics from Flirting Tips, Wedding Bells and Travel and Leisure. Ravi Verma, proprietor of Up-Front Groups, Guwahati, Assam. Indian author who writes articles on international issues. A content writer for both technical and non-technical articles. Contact:adminravi@gmail.com. Ravi's top article generates over 12100 views. to your Favourites.