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[P61]Parents Teaching Their Children

by Peter Finch, Pet

Education is accorded a high priority in the Romanian scheme of things. The educated people have traditionally been given the respect that they deserve all through the ages in Romania. Vital positions in a rural society, like the village mayor, teacher or priest used to be reserved for the educated ones. That tradition continues to this day in Romania. Education is compulsory up to the age of 16 for every citizen of the country. The level of education too is competitive for children and demanding for their teachers.

In Romania, children start going to nursery school at the age of three. They can continue with nursery till they are six or seven, depending on the level of their ability. School commences at eight and is over by midday. The children learn to draw and colour, get acquainted with the alphabets and are told many stories through which they are supposed to learn. It is the duty of the teachers to ensure that the students actually imbibe what they are taught.

The children also learn how to sing and dance in playschool. They are taught simple crafts, like making boats and flowers from paper and also things from their milieu that they can relate to, like snowflakes. Some nursery schools also teach the rudiments of a foreign language like English, German or French from such an early age, in addition to the mother tongue.

On finishing nursery school, the children have to undergo tests by the primary schools they want to enroll with. Primary education lasts for four years, that is from the age of six or seven until the child is ten or eleven years old. The school hours in primary schools too are from 8 a.m. till noon. Children bring some light snacks to school, and are fed a small carton of milk along with a roll. They go home to have their lunch rather than have it in the school itself.

The curriculum in primary school is considerably more varied. Students are taught the Romanian language, Mathematics, Biology, Geography, History, Religion, Physical Education, Arts and Crafts, as also a foreign language, say English. The detailed syllabus is designed to make the children inquisitive and to make them aware of a lot of facts and information. Upon evaluation, the children are awarded grades like "Very Good", "Good", "Satisfactory", and "Not Satisfactory".

The next stage is the lower secondary school, which also lasts for four years. There are two terms in an academic year, one before and one after the Christmas holidays. There are holidays for Easter too, and a long summer vacation stretches from the middle of June till the middle of September. New subjects that are introduced at this stage include Physics, Chemistry, and a second foreign language, for example French, German or Spanish. Two countrywide tests are held at the end of either term in the 7th grade, i.e. the third year into lower secondary school. The subjects covered in these tests are Mathematics and Romanian.

The end of the 8th grade, the most vital in lower secondary school, is marked by the final examination in Romanian, Mathematics, and History or Geography. The results are declared in a scale of 1 through 10. The results of the students in this test determine whether they can go on to high school or not.

During this time students fill in a form, which has a list of the high schools. Students can mark their choice of high school in the order of their preference on that form. However, whether they actually make it to the schools of their choice would largely be determined by the grades they score.

Some students, who could not qualify for the high school, are offered the opportunity of joining a vocational school. Here they can pick up different skills or crafts that would give them a vocational qualification on finishing the course chosen.

Finally at the end of four years of high school, students have to take the baccalaureate examination, after which they become eligible to enter a university for furthering their academic career if they want so.

Do you remember that phase in your child's life when all you heard was "I want to do it!"? You're in a hurry, and you want to help your child get dressed, but your two or three year old will have no part of that. You must wait for 15 minutes while she masters the socks and shoes. Your helpful child, at this age, wants to take out the trash, put away the silverware, bake cookies, and clean the bathroom. What on Earth happens to this independent child?

Not all children, but many, shift into a new phase. Picking up their toys is a dreadful task. Playing is so much more important than doing homework. Getting them to hang up their coat or make their bed is like pulling their two front teeth. In the teenage years, you get another glimpse of independence, but it's not exactly in the areas you might want. Teenagers insist they have all their academics, social relationships, and life in general, under control. You may think differently, but who are you? To a teenager, you're just an old fashioned and unintelligent parent.

Regardless of what children may want or think they need, parents have a job to teach responsibility and independence. It is a lifelong commitment that isn't always so easy, but here are some tips to keep you on track.

Encourage Independence by Refusing to Step In
When your child reaches an age to take on an age-appropriate activity, show your child how to do it, then let go and let your child struggle. It can be hard to watch children fight with their shoelaces, or stumble over their words in a new friendship, but it is in these moments that children are learning. The joy they feel when they gain a little more independence can be very rewarding, and a strong motivator to try new tasks in the future.

Believe in Your Child
Children need to know you believe in them. Encourage your children with positive words such as, "You are a smart girl. You can figure this out." Teach your children to think positively about themselves by modeling this behavior in yourself. The Little Blue Engine didn't give up and the reward was confidence. Confidence builds on itself, and your child will gain greater self esteem when you encourage independence and responsibility.

Build in Life Skills through Routines
Routines give your child practice and repetition. If, for instance, the after school routine includes putting away the lunch box and coat, having a snack, and doing homework, your child learns responsibility as a way of life. If you want your child to have good personal grooming skills, build brushing hair and teeth, and washing face into a morning and bedtime routine. When a child does the same thing over and over, he learns independence without even thinking about it.

Let Children Fall Down and Experience the Consequences
Resist the urge to be a helicopter parent and hover over your child. Life is full of opportunities to succeed and make mistakes. The lesson is reinforced and learning takes place when children are allowed to make mistakes. If your child makes a bad choice, let him experience the natural or imposed consequences. A "D" or an "F" on an exam sends a very clear message that the child needs to study harder. The effect is not the same when you are hounding your child to study so she doesn't fail. When your child makes the choice to extend his curfew by an hour, he loses the privilege of going out the next weekend. Guaranteed he will think twice before staying out late the next time.

Coach your Children towards Independence and Responsibility
When your child is faced with a future or past decision, ask a lot of open ended questions that encourage your child to think for himself. "What do you think you should say to your friend?" "What could you have done differently in this situation?" Giving advice teaches your children what you want and what you think is best. Coaching your children supports them in developing good decision making skills, and honoring what is best for them. It's okay if they don't make the best choice. Live and learn.

The goal in raising children is not to protect them from pain or undesirable circumstances, but to equip them with what they need to be responsible, independent and resilient adults.

Article Source : Pg. 104

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Both Peter Finch & True2you are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Peter Finch has sinced written about articles on various topics from Puppies Dogs, Culture and Society and Romance Love. Romanian women are known to be amongst the most gorgeous, chic, immaculately dressed, well read & family orientated women on earth. Don't even think about searching for a. Peter Finch's top article generates over 823000 views. to your Favourites.

True2you has sinced written about articles on various topics from Alternative Medicine, Abdominal and Health. Lori Radun, CEC ? certified life coach and inspirational speaker for moms. To receive her FREE newsletter, and the FREE special report ?155 Things Moms Can Do To Raise Great Children?, go to http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com. True2you's top article generates over 8100 views. to your Favourites.