Here it is: The moment many of us have been dreading for...well...ever! The 'Apple of Daddy's Eye' is getting her drivers permit, and it is only a matter of time before she will be needing some wheels. You can't NOT get her something to drive, because then she will be riding with her friends--many of whom strike you as...well, let's say...somewhat less than reliable.
So...what to do? She wants something cool to drive , but she does not have enough of her own money to influence your decision. Of course, not having money has never prevented her from influencing all those other decisions...
But this time, THIS time, you are going to hang tough. You hope.
You, on the other hand, want something safe for her-- like maybe a Sherman tank--but you don't want her to feel like a geek, because that will make YOU look like a geek for getting her a geek-mobile.
One excellent choice here in sunny So. CA (where a car is presumed to say something about the driver within), is a "gently used" BMW, Mercedes, Lexus, Audi, Infiniti, etc. These vehicles not only have the 'cachet' required by discriminating 16 and 17-year-olds, they are safe and well-built. They hold their value (some better than others) so they are worth something when she decides it is time to move on to the next thing (usually within a week or two).
Check with your bank or credit union about getting her a loan in her own name. It will be difficult, and impossible if she has no job, but you may have developed a strong enough relationship with them to carry the day. It doesn't hurt to ask. It also doesn't mean you won't have to bail her out or pay it outright, but the earlier that young people can establish car credit, the better.
Banks will happily accept you as a co-signer, but you should still shop around for a rate. You will want her listed as the owner, on the top line of the contract. Many times this detail is overlooked and a wonderful opportunity to establish rock-solid credit is missed.
Don't forget about the insurance factor! Adults have a tendency to forget just how much it costs for kids to insure their cars. It can easily exceed the amount of the monthly loan repayment, and if it is a sports car you might want to take back a second mortgage.
So, try to relax a little if you can, bite the bullet, do your homework. You knew it wouldn't be easy, you knew it was coming...but why did it have to come so soon?
It is the loss of control that is so mortifying, the thought that they have somehow moved beyond your sphere of influence. Just remember-- you raised them right, you armed them well...and anyway, what can you do? You can't exactly ground them for life....
Or can you? Hmmm....
Your troubled teen is running with the wrong crowd and has become alarmingly defiant and rebellious … again. The messy hair, dingy clothing, and body piercings continue to be the norm. Since your teen has “experimented" with drugs and alcohol in the past, you’re certain that he or she is back to the same old tricks, even though he or she swears things are different now.
Some parents assume their kids are continuing to abuse drugs or alcohol and end up treating them as if they’ve done something wrong while those assumptions couldn’t be further from the truth. Those wrong assumptions end up fueling resentment instead of giving kids the means to prove their trustworthiness.
Your teen wants your trust and you want to give it. Unfortunately, neither of you knows how to give what the other wants.
When it comes to substance abuse, there’s a relatively new way to separate fact from fiction, and it’s becoming more popular than most people think. One of the reasons you may not have heard of it is because of its private and confidential nature. It provides the foundation for reestablishing trust based on truth. If a child wants to prove that he or she is drug free and a parent needs solid evidence rather than verbal assurances, then a home drug testing program may be the answer.
Critics of this emerging trend of home drug testing claim that the act of testing teens for drugs is an irresponsible abuse of trust and only drives a wedge between parents and their teenage children, who already have a strained relationship. However, who can argue against relationships based on facts over fiction, especially when the bond of trust has already been destroyed?
Mason Duchatschek has sinced written about articles on various topics from Parenting, Parenting and Stress Management. Mason Duchatschek has interviewed thousands of parents, teenagers, school board members, counselors, school principals, and superintendents. He is the president of TestMyTeen.com (http://www.testmyteen.com) based in Fenton, Missouri.. Mason Duchatschek's top article generates over 2900 views. to your Favourites.