When they are young, it is natural instinct for puppies to form an attachment to their mothers and to the environment around them. When they are removed from this setting, they become stressed and often cry a lot when you first bring home a new puppy. This is puppy separation anxiety and it can cause your new pet to develop behavioural problems when you don handle it properly. You have to allow the puppy time to become attached to you as the new owner and the environment of your home. To help ease the anxiety of the first few nights in your home, try placing a ticking clock in the place where the puppy sleeps or give it a teddy bear or small plush toy that it can cuddle into.
You should not make the puppy totally dependent on you. This will lead to separation anxiety issues every time you are out of sight. The resulting behaviour could mean that the puppy uses the bathroom in areas of the home even though it is puppy trained. If you leave the puppy alone in the home, you could return to see something destroyed or chewed up, such as your sofa or one of your favourite shoes. Excessive barking is also another sign of separation anxiety and leads to complaints from the neighbours that every time you are absent from your home the dog barks constantly. When the behaviour returns to normal as soon as you enter the door, then you know that there is no medical reason and you need to do something about the dog feelings of being separated from you.
The chances of the puppy having issues of separation anxiety can also stem from a traumatic experience in its life. For example, if the puppy was hurt accidentally by a toddler, the puppy may develop a fear of children. Thus, if you leave the puppy in a place where there are children it will become stressed when you are not around for protection. A sudden change in your living environment could be traumatic as well for the puppy that has just gotten used to living in a new location. The puppy may react to this environment in the same way it reacted when you first brought it home.
There is no one sign of separation anxiety that will tell you for sure that this is your puppy problem. Every dog is unique and reacts differently when they are separated from the owner and the things which with they are familiar. Some puppies will not eat or drink when there owner is out of the house. While many owners resort to punishing the dog for bad behaviour, this is directed at the behaviour itself and does not address the root of the problem. The most widely accepted way to help puppies suffering from separation anxiety is to have planned departures.
This means that you plan to be away from the dog for a short period of time and gradually extend these periods longer and longer. When you return home always make sure you greet the puppy and spend some time playing with it so that it starts to feel confident that you will return. You can also have a taped message playing over and over so that the puppy will think you are still in the house.
Saying goodbye is one of the most difficult tasks that people learn in life. Learning to handle separation is an emotionally difficult task that begins in infancy. Too often, parents and caregivers mishandle the child's transition between them, and the child is left feeling scared and abandoned. ?Maybe mommy isn't ever coming back.?
Failing to provide the necessary support that children need, to separate well, may have a negative effect on the child's future relationships. The parent's own feelings of anxiety and sadness, or on the opposite end of the spectrum, insensitivity to the child's emotions, can have a profound effect on a child's level of separation anxiety.
If separating is handled with sensitivity, children develop confidence and independence and feel secure when left in the hands of a loving and competent caregiver.
Mistake #1-Ignore the child's fears-Many parents think that ignoring a child's anxiety, anger, stress and fear makes separating easier. Mom or dad might believe that springing the separation on the child and sneaking out, like ripping off a band-aid, won't give the child time to get worked up, tearful and upset. Other parents may not be sensitive to the fact that separating is a big deal, ?Why is he so upset, I am just running out for an hour.? Don't tell the child his or her feelings are insignificant.
Solution: Explain to the child calmly, clearly and briefly, what he or she should expect. Use the same ritual before each separation. For example: enter the room, hang the child's coat, put the snack away, take out a loved toy, give a big hug and kiss, etc. Do not sneak out or use a distraction to duck out of the room. In new situations, parents should allot adequate time to hang around while the child becomes acclimated to his new surroundings. The parent should reassure the child that mommy/daddy is coming back soon and should expect the child to feel some distress. Separating is tough.
Mistake #2-Emphasize the fun and excitement of the activity-Disregarding that the child is feeling frightened, and instead focusing on how much fun she is going to have, does not ease separation fears. The child may be confused and not understand why she is being left and wondering if mommy or daddy will ever return. While upset the child is not able to focus on the fun things in store for her while mom is away.
Solution: Short absences initially (30-90 minutes) are easier for children. Ensure that the child understands what is happening by using the same description of the situation before each separation. ?Mommy is going to have her teeth cleaned, remember we passed the dentist's office on the drive over here? I will be back shortly to pick you up and then we will go to the park and have our lunch. I know that you feel a little afraid because this is a new place to play and I am leaving. Miss Melanie is really kind and happy to play with you, I like her very much. I love you and I am coming back to pick you up as soon as my teeth are shiny.? Explaining what to expect gives the child a sense of control.
Mistake #3-Neglecting to give the reunion its proper consideration-?Grab your coat, let's get in the car, we are late!??is not a proper hello after being separated from a child. Having a conversation with the caregiver before acknowledging the child, is also a mistake.
Solution: Handling the reunion between parent and child with sensitivity is just as important as the goodbye. The child is relieved that the parent has returned as promised. Develop a warm and loving routine used for returns. Positive relationship development relies on reuniting with joy and happiness. Using a special routine honors the loving bond between parent and child.
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