You probably know the scene all too well. With no time to even put the Cheerios bowl in the sink, you hustle your darling toddler out to the car and buckle her in. You down your coffee and worry about today's big meeting with the boss as you steer through morning rush-hour traffic. Twenty minutes later (and five minutes behind schedule) you screech to a halt in front of the daycare center and the howling begins. You beg, plead and bribe your typically sweet and considerate girl to get out of the car; but the standoff has begun. Perhaps a couple of daycare employees come out to the curb to help you wrestle Mommy's little princess out of her seat and drag her wailing up the walk. Now you're 15 minutes behind schedule, your clothes are a mess, and you're so upset that you probably shouldn't even be driving.
While it's nice to feel loved, sometime our kids seem to take it to extremes. What is that all about, anyway? It turns out that the cause of the commotion is Separation Anxiety. It refers to a stage in a child's development where she begins to fear being away from the primary caregiver. Chances are, it began when she was just under a year old, and you've been ?enjoying? it all through toddler-hood.
After a long, tiring day at work, you return to the daycare to retrieve your little angel. As you walk in the room, she bursts into tears and comes running to you. You wonder if she's cried all day and if the daycare center is going to start charging you extra for earplugs and elective surgery along the lines of a nice lobotomy. It is nearly impossible to get her coat on, as she is clinging so tightly to the front of you. At home she has trouble falling asleep and climbs into your bed at some point during the night. When the two of you awake in the morning, she tells you that she has a stomachache and that she can't go to daycare today.
These are all classic signs of Separation Anxiety in children. While there are severe versions known as Separation Anxiety Disorder, the behavior she's displaying is most likely just typical growing pains, the cause of which is her mental and emotional development. These are responses to her budding understanding of the world in which she lives. About the time the anxiety began, her toddler brain had learned to equate you with safety; and once that connection was made, she began to believe you needed to be near in order for her to stay safe. In some cases, she may have determined that she had to be near to keep you safe, as well.
Just as her fear of the dark will dissipate as she grows, so will her anxiety over being separated from you. The distress caused by the daily display of emotion is draining for both you and the child, but it is necessary for her to learn that you will always come back for her and that she is able to function as an individual human being. Try to take a deep breath, and as the daycare employees peel the clinging, crying child from your leg in the morning, try to console yourself in the knowledge that every parent in history has survived Separation Anxiety in children.
It is not unusual to be concerned when we notice Separation Anxiety in children. It usually manifests in babies around eight or nine months and continues until about three years of age. Most children will cry when a parent leaves them, especially in an unfamiliar environment. Many parents become very distressed when this happens and worry that they are causing psychological damage to their youngster or that perhaps they have spoiled the child. Typically, there is no need for alarm.
Separation Anxiety develops in children as a natural mechanism to keep the species safe. Because a toddler so strongly feels the urge to remain close to his primary caregiver, he is less likely to stray too far and find himself in a dangerous or even life-threatening situation. This is also somewhat related to the ?Stranger Anxiety? that appears in babies between about seven and eleven months of age. In short, the child has come to equate the primary caregiver, usually a parent, with a sense of security; and that sense is threatened when the caregiver is removed from the situation. The home has also been linked to security, and children are therefore more cautious in a strange environment, even if the parent is present.
In addition to crying when the parent leaves the child with a babysitter or at daycare, there are other signs of Separation Anxiety in children. It is not unlikely for the child to cry again upon the parent's return, as he has been reminded of the distress he felt when the parent originally left. Some children also become quiet or are particularly shy in the new environment. When the primary caregiver must leave a baby for an extended period, say a few weeks to care for sick relative, the baby will generally go into a depression. This decreases the baby's appetite and causes him to move and explore less, leading to slower development. By the time the child is a toddler, the parent's absence is less likely to cause depression and more likely to cause anxiety.
Other signs of Separation Anxiety in children include clinginess and concern that the caregiver will be harmed in some way if the child is not nearby. Some children also suffer from physical reactions to the anxiety, such as stomachaches, headaches, dizziness and nausea. These symptoms usually subside if the child is allowed to stay home; however, the anxiety is over the parent leaving, not over being in the new environment, so they will often subside even if the child can not stay home. Anxiety-related behaviors or symptoms may increase when the child is tired or sick, or if there have been major changes in his home life or daily routine. They usually last for less than two weeks.
It is not impossible for a toddler or child to develop too much Separation Anxiety, but it is very rare. Some of the warning signs that a child has developed Separation Anxiety Disorder include the child being unable to sleep alone, constantly worrying that some harm will come to his parents, ongoing nightmares of the parents being harmed, refusing to go to school or anxiety-induced physical complaints that last for more than two weeks. Children generally outgrow Separation Anxiety around three years of age, but certain aspects may reappear in times of great stress. Older children exhibiting these signs constantly over a period of weeks should see a healthcare professional. Again, such situations are quite rare, and the vast majority of Separation Anxiety in children is not only to be expected, it is a valuable stage in human development.
Kc Smith has sinced written about articles on various topics from SEO Search Engine Optimization, Cure Anxiety and Music. Learn how to beat child separation anxiety with.Article written by: KC Smith. Kc Smith's top article generates over 18100 views. to your Favourites.