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[B266]Become A Marriage Counselor

by Kausik Dutta, Kau

When you make the decision to go into therapy to help your marriage, you and your spouse are offering the future and past of your relationship up for scrutiny to a stranger; namely, a marriage counselor or therapist. Because this can be an uncomfortable experience, you need to ensure you have a good counselor ahead of time.

While you can never fully gauge a person until you have met them, there are certain qualities that should be integral and present in any professional marriage counselor or relationship therapist. While there are many qualities to look for in your therapist of choice, here are some of the more important ones.

One, make sure your therapist has references and credentials. This is important, as you're going in with the expectation of meeting a professional, and you want to ensure they are. Don't be afraid to ask questions and ask for references or credentials.

Two, check out their patient testimonials, as these can be the most powerful indicators of their effectiveness. If a therapist has a lot of recommendations and testimonials, even if they're selectively picked, it still means they get results.

Three, always make sure you feel comfortable with the therapist; never feel pressured or obligated into staying. You need to form a bond of trust with your therapist, and they with you; this can only be done if you're comfortable with them. The same goes for your partner; they have to feel equally comfortable with the therapist and environment.

Four, do some digging on the internet and try to find a counselor with direct experience dealing with your specific problem. While you may not always be able to find this, it's worth looking. Along this same vein, search for your potential therapist's name and see if anything bad comes up. While a lack of bad mentions does not necessarily mean they're good, it's worth noting.

Five, try and get references from friends or family members. Again, the internet can help in this as well. References are probably the best indicator of a marriage counselor's effectiveness and abilities; there are many resources available on the web as well.

Marriagemax.com is an alternative marriage advice website created and run by relationship expert Mort Fertel since 2004. It covers a broad range of marriage topics and offers advice and ideas for helping out your marriage.

Many people seem to think that marriage counseling is a last resort when your marriage is crippled beyond repair. However, the wise couple will seek marriage counseling as soon as they come to the realization that their marriage is facing a problem that neither of them have the experience to solve.

Because of their abiding love for each other, they are willing to do whatever it takes to shore up the area of their marriage that was affected by erosion.

Even though both spouses know that marriage counseling is an important step, actually feeling comfortable with the counseling is a whole different story.

It's often more difficult for men to seek outside help for their relationships. They hate not being able to figure something out on their own. Men, by nature, are trained to be independent and self-sufficient. They would rather learn from doing than from discussing. Therefore, it is more difficult for men to see a therapist.

So if the idea of having a male therapist makes a big difference to him, this would be good time to give in to his request.

For men who are uncomfortable with the thought of a one-on-one session, many therapists say group therapy is a good starting point. Sitting down in a group setting--with six to ten other individuals--can address feelings of isolation and improve their interpersonal skills.

Men in our culture typically have more fear of intimacy and are uncomfortable when it comes to revealing their emotions.

By helping people share their concerns and fears, groups can ease men past these barriers to problem solving. Therapy groups with a narrow focus can be especially appealing to men.

Remember, do whatever it takes to make it as easy as possible to seek counseling.

Your efforts will be well rewarded and you will realize that your journey through counseling not only helped resolve your initial concern, but your marriage relationship has broadened and grown to newer heights.

Article Source : Against Marriage

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Both Kausik Dutta & Beth Young are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Kausik Dutta has sinced written about articles on various topics from Satellite, Home Improvement and Alcohol Treatment. For more information about any of the programs or to contact Mort Fertel, please go to or call 410.764.1552.. Kausik Dutta's top article generates over 60500 views. to your Favourites.

Beth Young has sinced written about articles on various topics from Family, Marriage and Marketing. Beth Young is the Senior Editor of the leading marriage advise web site, MarriageAdvise.com. To download your free ebook titled, "101 Marriage Secrets" visit