I've learned-- often the hard ways-- that what your mind believes you will ALWAYS achieve: Good, bad or indifferent. Unless and until something comes along to "change your mind."
Your beliefs create your paradigm of life-- the way it is, whatever the "it" is we're talking about. There are paradigms for every domain of life and work.
A paradigm is your belief about the way it is. It's your "worldview" of the matter no matter what's the matter.
A classic example of a marketplace paradigm (worldview, belief) is the wristwatch: Until the 1970s, geared timepieces-- the "Swiss watch"-- were the dominant paradigm; jeweled movements, mainsprings, winding mechanisms (think Rolex). With the development of cheap semi-conductors and wafer thin batteries, the quartz watch (think Seiko)-- with its greater accuracy and low price-- became the new paradigm of wristwatches.
In a more a human arena, a paradigm is the underlying belief we are operating from.
Our beliefs are habits of thought-- those things we think about a given subject most consistently and frequently and for the longest time-- and the associated feelings that come with those thoughts. Beliefs and memories are the same thing. A memory becomes a belief the more often it's recalled and the more powerfully we infuse it with our emotional energy.
One important thing to know about our beliefs and memories is they are NOT the truth. They are always our interpretations of events in the past. Just like six eye-witnesses to the same street crime will describe six different sets of details... or at various stages and ages in our lives we remember the exact same incident very differently.
Our memories and beliefs-- our paradigms-- are NOT real. We MAKE THEM UP.
And they can change in an instant when new, more compelling information becomes available.
The following is a true story told by Frank Koch, which appeared in an issue of Proceedings, the magazine of the United States Naval Institute. It dramatically illustrates how one simple, yet profound new bit of information completely changed a very big paradigm 180 degrees in an instant.
As background, let me explain that at the time of this story, a battleship was THE most formidable navel war vessel in the world. It was three football fields long (longer than most skyscrapers are tall), weighed 50,000 tons and carried a crew of 1500 sailors. It also had nine 16" guns that could fire a one-ton explosive "bullet" and blow up a target as small as a tank 23 miles away.
Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days. Koch was serving on the lead battleship and was standing watch on the bridge as night fell. He recounts his experience.
"The visibility was extremely poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge, keeping an eye on our navigation activities."
"Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, 'Light, bearing on the starboard bow!'
"The captain called out, 'Is it steady or moving astern?'
"The lookout replied, 'Steady, captain,' which meant that we were on a collision course with that source of light.
"The captain then called to the signalman, 'Signal that ship: We are on a collision course. . . advise you change course 20 degrees.'
"Back came the signal from the other ship. 'Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees!'
"The captain barked, 'Send, I'm a captain. . . change course 20 degrees immediately.'
"'I'm a seaman second-class,' came the reply. 'You had better change course 20 degrees!'"
"By this time, the captain was furious. He spat out, 'Send, I am a battleship! Change course 20 degrees.'
"Back came the signal from the flashing light. . .'
"I am a lighthouse. . ."
All it takes to change a paradigm-- or a belief-- even the most firmly entrenched and universally agreed upon, is one new piece of "compelling" information.
Admittedly, with a belief that you and I have held on to as our dominant paradigm for 20, 30, 40 years or more, that may require some focused and consistent effort over time. But if the experts are correct and you can establish a new habit in 21 to 28 days. . . you're always less than one month away from changing your life for the better forever.
So, how do you know what your beliefs are?
Look at your life right now. . .
That's what you have believed up 'til now.
Don't like what you've got?
Change your beliefs.
It's the only way.
Think of it like this:
Your beliefs are your operating system, and exactly like the OS Whatever (DOS, Mac, Linux, Unix) on your computer, your beliefs organize and control all your human hardware and software, so everything works the way it's supposed to.
Now, you'd be crazy to run your computer with software developed back in the 1960s or '70s. (The computer in your cell phone is more powerful than any desktop was just 20 years ago.) And you'd be totally nuts to depend on an operating system designed by a five or six-year old "programmer" wouldn't you?
But that's exactly the kind of software you're using right this minute to run your life. . .
YOU OS 1.0: Fundamental beliefs MADE UP in the mind of a little child-- and most probably a disappointed, dissatisfied, discouraged, disheartened little "programmer" trying desperately to safely navigate the stormy seas of life and protect him or herself from pain.
If you're anxious about what other people think of you. . .
If you're afraid of failure and rejection. . .
If you have any of the FADWAS (Fear, Anger, Doubt, Worry, Anxiety, Sadness) or more importantly, if they have you. . .
If no matter what you do it's never good enough or never enough. . .
Then it's time to install a new operating system.
As soon as possible would be good. And this time, preferably make it a system designed by an authentic, intelligent, sincere and serious adult who knows, likes and trusts you. One who cares very deeply about you and is passionately committed to your life and success.
Know anybody that fits that description perfectly?
You are "The One": The best one. . . and really you're the only one qualified for the job.
Problem is: This one is NOT one of those "Do it yourself" deals. Self-help won't work too well here, because the "self" itself is part of the problem. As Professor Einstein was quoted as saying:
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
Remember, our beliefs are habits of thought, so can you understand how those very same thoughts that formed our beliefs are neither willing nor able to un-make them?
When you're working on developing and installing a new and improved Operating System-- your fundamental beliefs about who and how you are, and the way life really is-- self-help doesn't work, because you and I are blind to the beliefs that limit us and stop us from living in 3D-- as we Desire, Dream and Deserve.
We are battleships heading straight for a lighthouse.
Help-- which has gotten a "bad rap" for many of us since childhood where it was mistakenly viewed as a sign of weakness (and has been negatively promoted as such by too many of the popular human potential gurus and their personal development workshops)- is absolutely what we need.
Help, in the form of new and more compelling information. (Again: "I am a lighthouse.")
Help in the form of a new way of working directly with our beliefs that will shift unwanted, self-sabotaging beliefs to empowering beliefs that assure your success. . . fast, in a proven way that lasts.
What your mind believes you will achieve - all ways and in all ways.
Thanks. I appreciate you!
Procrastination is a means of avoiding depression or coping with emotions that lead to depression or stress. This brings only temporarily relief and the next day when you wake, you realize that no little Fairy has done the work for you- and the emotional stress of not completing your task returns. So, what can you do?
Procrastination may manifest itself in many forms and for many reasons. It is mostly the avoidance of a duty that needs to be done usually within a certain timeframe. Few of us have escaped the clutches of procrastination at one time or another in our life because it is so easy to succumb to its seductive ways.
Procrastination has many disguises: television, internet, email, books, household chores, telephone, sleep and even the excuse of helping a friend. Procrastinators seldom do nothing, but what they do get done is rarely useful.
We all procrastinate to some degree. There are always other projects you could be doing instead that would be more fun or satisfying to complete. Some say there is no cure for procrastination so perhaps we need to seek not to prevent it but instead to just slow it in the best way possible.
For many the underlying root issue of your procrastination is fear and anxiety. You feel anxious about a chores so you choose to ignore it. This is a serious problem for students who have many deadlines to meet but it is also a growing problem for those in the home and workplace.
Fear and anxiety over not completing a task or project leads to procrastination and this in turn causes more fear of failure. Failure fear is common but some fear success. It becomes a vicious cycle that gets harder and harder to break the habit of. They feel if they complete the task successfully it will set the bar too high for future projects.
Students are overwhelmed with an test and fear getting a low grade. They substitute anxiety for studying but feel if they fail because of procrastination they will be assessed as lacking in effort and this is more acceptable than lacking in skill. They fear looking dumb.
An interesting side note: College students who procrastinate are often more prone to drinking, smoking, insomnia and sickness such as flu. Psychologists say the drinking and smoking are to assist ease the pain of fear and anxiety caused by procrastination, which leads to health problems.
So regularly we delay finishing a task because we fear criticism, disapproval and negative feedback. We had rather procrastinate than suffer the fear of shame and embarrassment of unreal expectations.
This expands into fear and anxiety of possible rejection, being criticized and making mistakes. Some even fear losing freedom and put off committing to a project. Fears are sometimes unconscious and many people would deny they ever suffer from them.
There are many strategies to combat fear, anxiety and its resultant offspring, procrastination. Realize that you have a choice to succeed or not to succeed. Set realistic goals in quick increments and achieve a sense of self worth.
Don't focus on imagined weaknesses. Most fears are unfounded and irrational. Realize that you are working against yourself, and then analyze them and move on. Ask yourself the real reason for why you are afraid. Be painfully honest with yourself. For some people, practicing simple exercise and deep breathing help to alleviate the anxiety and stress levels.
Get organized. Now do NOT procrastinate on this also. Make your To Do lists but keep it simple and achievable. Include both small and the large things to do on this list. The completion of small things could lead to big accomplishments in the future.
When a chores is completed, mark it off your list. It is fun to watch your list grow shorter and shorter. And you will be shocked at how much this gives you a feeling of success and spurs you on to greater success. Classes in organization are offered in many places and may be just right for you. You can also download many self help books on getting organized too.
Prioritize your lists. The most vital task is not always the most pleasant. Should you pay bills that are due to prevent a late payment fine or you should you clean out a kitchen utility drawer? Achieving deadlines gives your morale a boost and sometimes your pocketbook too.
Take these self help process at one step at a time and slice the work pie into smaller pieces. Before you know it the whole pie has been demolished. It has been said that the longest journey begins with the first step. It is the same with any frightening task. By the yard it may be hard, but by the inch it is a cinch.
Have achievable expectations of yourself in this task. If you have a large task that is already causing anxiety, fist just do some of the smaller things related to the task as a whole. Thus the whole becomes manageable again in your mind, along with the satisfaction of seeing the first steps being already achieved by you.
Get a calendar to list dates and appointments and to make sure you meet all deadlines for both short and long term goals. Check your calendar frequently and do not overbook yourself to be in too many places or working on too many assignments at once. Leave plenty of white space on your pages, in between all the To Do notes and appointments, as that can also bring a feeling of relief.
Do not feel you must do everything perfectly. You are human and humans make mistakes.
Get started. Each day schedule time to work on the task at hand and eventually the task will be achieved. Reward yourself and anticipate that reward as an incentive to work. Go back to work refreshed.
Allow enough time to finish that assignmentsand there is no need to panic if you fall behind. Be flexible. Extensions can normally begranted but do not commence with this in mind. Many projects never get done by feeling you are the only one who can do it properly. A good leader is one who delegates and has a Plan B, so use all the help and resources you can get your hands on to get the job done.
ANYONE can help themselves feel better today! With decades of Personal & Professional Development learning, Helene Malmsio has created a powerful self-help super site at http://personal-enterprise-self-help-resources.com that helps you to help yourself. Come see their huge list of resources - all designed to help you feel better and BE better today!
There is no perfect time to begin. Mark Twain said, ?Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day AFTER tomorrow.? The essential thing is to just start. Learn as much as you can about your assignments, and then take one step at a time, reward yourself often and soon you will realize that your fear and anxiety will disappear. And now further self help for your next step is just a click away.
Both John Milton Fogg & Gen Wright are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
John Milton Fogg has sinced written about articles on various topics from Web Development, Self Esteem. John Milton Fogg is an acclaimed writer, editor, speaker, coach and author of the million-selling book, The Greatest Networker in the World. His free BeliefBusters Report shows you how to Build Self-Esteem, Stop Negative Thinking and Become Healthy, Wealt. John Milton Fogg's top article generates over 720 views. to your Favourites.
Gen Wright has sinced written about articles on various topics from Terrier Dogs, Acne Treatment and Lose Weight. GET HAPPY NOW! Come see out self-help super site with thousands of personal development resources and