If you are a woman, are financially secure, and have assets that you expect to pass on to people you love and care for, you must make a suitable estate plan. It is vitally important to be aware of your rights and take appropriate steps to protect and ensure the disposal/distribution of your assets according to your wishes when you pass away. Whether you are in a relationship, or are considering getting married, or are already married, you need to protect your assets within your lifetime against any threat to their security.
Consider a few situations: your boyfriend wants you to have a joint checking account with him; or, your ex-husband does not want you to have any part of his retirement funds; or, your husband wants his estate to go to charity. Do you know how to protect yourself in such situations? Here we provide an insight into the pros and cons of such issues and answer some related questions. Though not exhaustive, it will serve as a guide in planning for your estate.
Whether you are married or a co-habiting single woman, you need to understand that you risk losing your assets if you co-mingle them with anyone else. Joint assets create joint tenancy, where each tenant has complete rights and authority over the entire joint assets. As a result, your assets risk being attached or seized to pay off the debts of your joint tenant, even though you have no liability or connection with his debts. Also, your joint tenancy with another person may prevent your children from inheriting such joint assets. So, you need to think carefully before you open any joint accounts or acquire any property jointly. In addition, you would be well advised to seek professional help before you consider going in for joint ownership of any of your assets with a non-spouse.
You have a legal right to a certain portion of the property of your spouse. This is known as an elective share. It means that even if your spouse wants to disinherit you, he cannot do so. The exact extent of the elective share differs from state to state. Some states mandate a fifty percent share. Plus, you also have protection with respect to the retirement funds of your husband. The law presumes that in the event of your husband predeceasing you, you are the beneficiary of his retirement plan. Even when you divorce, you are vested with a portion of your husband retirement funds subject to a QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order) being included in your divorce agreement. This order assigns a portion of your ex-husband retirement distributions, in proportion to the amount of contributions that he made to his retirement funds, during the period of your marriage. However, you have a right to waive this through a spousal waiver document while in the marriage. But again, it would be advisable to seek legal counsel before signing any such document.
Pre-nuptial agreements are a growing trend nowadays. If you have substantial assets and children from an earlier marriage whom you want financially protected, a prenuptial agreement before a remarriage would give your better control over such situations. For a valid pre-nuptial agreement, each party should have a separate lawyer. If there is a common lawyer or if one party does not have any counsel at all, the agreement may be invalid.
You must also consult an estate-planning attorney about Advanced Directives, which are documents that are related to your health care wishes. These include a living will, which is a document meant for doctors or healthcare professionals about the life prolonging care you may or may not wish to have, if you happen to reach a vegetative state or are stricken by a terminal illness. There is also something known as a durable power of attorney for health care. This allows you to appoint a person to make medical decisions on your behalf if you happen to reach a state wherein you are unable to make such decisions yourself, whether at the end or at any other time of your life. You can have one or both, the living will and the durable power of attorney, at the same time. You can also discuss forming various types of trusts. Consult your attorney and take the steps that will ensure both your welfare as well as of those you love and care for.
If there is ever a moment that you need to physically defend yourself, I say don't hesitate. Fight back. It could save your life. Many physical attacks have been averted because the victim fought back. Statistics indicate that the woman who fights has a greater chance of survival and getting away then a woman who does not resist. If a man is out to attack you, he is out to do you harm anyway. Fighting him will surprise him and because he wants to get away with the least amount of resistance in many cases he will let go of you to escape himself. An attacker doesn't like a lot of noise, so make a lot of it. Yell as long and hard as you can. Say things that will attract attention. ?HELP HE'S ATTACKING ME!? - ?I DON'T KNOW HIM!! HE'S TRYING TO KIDNAP ME! SOMEBODY HELP ME? - ?CALL THE POLICE HE'S HURTING ME!? ?HELP ME THIS MAN IS FOLLOWING ME!?
If you are in a public place and you are aware that someone is following you or trailing you. Look fully at his face. Make sure that he knows you see him. Say in a very loud voice ?I SEE YOU. LEAVE ME ALONE NOW.? ?POLICE!! POLICE!!? He will think twice about jumping you. Also if you are alone and you feel someone is following you don't get yourself cornered. Get into an open place, a public place, near people or a person. If you can ask someone to walk you to your car or train take the company and assistance. Again it could mean the difference between being vulnerable alone or avoiding attack with the company of someone else.
These are some of the suggestions to avoid attack. They may sound obvious but they are for your reference. Avoid going to dark places by yourself if you can. Go with someone when you can. If there is a lit place or a light, stand under it. Move away from someone who is trying to corner you or crowd you, but don't move to a place that could be more dangerous for you. For instance don't move closer to the tracks of a train, if you don't know what this person is capable of doing. Be aware of who is around you and how many are there. Be aware of people and how they are dressed. Be aware of erratic behavior such as drunkenness, hostility, or confrontational behavior.
Be aware of alliances, even if a man is not near someone doesn't mean that they are not a part of a team. There will be signs of connection if you observe long enough. You will see interaction that they are trying to disguise; you will see signals to each other or looks. But if something starts to go down, they will make their alliance known. They will come after you together. Also don't assume that just because you see a woman with a man that they cannot be a threat to you. Many times women can be the lure, and when you drop your guard, and then for many reasons, mostly to please the man that they are with, will let the man attack you or they will attack you together. There are lots of Bonnie and Clyde types out there. Just be aware of alliances.
Other suggestions: Don't open your purse in public; prepare your money or keys before you leave a place. Carry a key firmly between your two fingers and your thumb with the pointed end exposed. If you are being cornered don't blindly run. Before you go in any direction know if there is an exit or a dead end. When you walk, be aware of the environment. Doorways that someone can hide in, aisle ways, hidden entrances, and natural landmasses that could deter you or is a potential hiding place for someone. Also be aware of places that have people that can help you. Are there corner stores that stay open late, restaurants, Fire stations, Police Stations. Be aware of call boxes and really observe if they are working or not. If you need to make a cell phone call, be aware of landmarks to give some good directions.
If you carry a purse, it is better for you if your purse has compartments, and you always keep your things in the purse in the same place. Then when you need your wallet, your cell phone, keys or lipstick you can retrieve it with a momentary glance down or without looking down at all. An organized person is less of a mark or target than a disorganized person. A person who is focused and aware is also less likely to be a victim or a target than a woman who is spacey and distracted. Walk with purpose and direction, not like you don't know where you are going. Have routes plotted out to your home, and school or store etc. But also have alternative safe routes, be prepared to change direction in a moment if need be. The point is if you know a few ways to get somewhere you can take decisive action and not run blindly.copyright 2006 Yoga Kat
Both Kris Koonar & Katheryn Hoban are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Katheryn Hoban has sinced written about articles on various topics from self improvement and motivation, Alternative Medicine and Culture and Society. Yoga Kat teaches children's yoga ages 3-6, 7-12yrs and Adults in NJ. The Author of the book DAUGHTER BELOVED and created a children's affirmation CD and an adult affirmation CD. Available for speaking and reached at yogakat@verizon.net or 201 970-9340-. Katheryn Hoban's top article generates over 60500 views. to your Favourites.