Studies show that adults define self esteem in two different ways. For adults, this is the way one perceives oneself to others. For teens, it is the other way around and the only way to fit in will be to be cool just like the rest.
Why the difference? This is perhaps because of the age gap. Adults have spent enough time already in the world to know the difference between things that are important to those that are trivial. Teenagers are just learning the ropes.
So, what changes to adults do to continually build up self esteem in a teen? Since these people are in the age of discovery, the best thing parents can do is be open in answering questions about certain issues and being supportive in the decisions that the individual makes.
If the teenager wants to work or tryout for the football team, parents will hope for the best that things will turn out just fine. Others will even help the kid practice to avoid choking during the tryouts.
Parents also build self esteem by disciplining the teenager should something wrong be done. Explaining why is it wrong is much better than yelling because this will enable the individual to understand and hopefully avoid from making the same mistake again.
Another part of building self esteem on the part of the parents is being able to give comfort when things don't work out. Teenagers will feel heartbroken if the couple breaks up given that it is the first love and the only thing the parents can do is say everything will turn out fine and someone better will come along in the future.
Self esteem doesn't only come from the parents. This also comes from those who work in school and those that are considered to be one's friends. This is because parents have other things to do and it is the job of faculty to mould the students
Friends on the other hand are like parents who may offer words of comfort if the son or daughter is too ashamed or shy to talk about things happening in life.
Building self esteem helps the teenager evolve. This allows the person to either change or remain where one is. If life has not turned out the way that was expected, this is the opportunity to start anew which is similar to living the whole new life all over again.
Eventually, the individual will learn that self esteem is innate. This happens after the person realizes one's strengths and weaknesses so the teenager will focus on things that are easy while at the same time learning a few tricks to improve on those deficiencies.
It is true when people say that the family is the only place that the teen can turn to when the weight of the world is one's shoulders. This is the biggest responsibility of being a parent and the only times the guardians can rest is maybe when the son or daughter grows up and decides to start a family.
In the end, whatever happens outside comes back into the home. Teachers will probably talk to the parents to update the his or her development in the school. The worse can scenario is being called to the precinct to pick up the teen.
Many people will say that parents should be blamed should the child go astray. This is partly true given that these people are the legal guardians. Letting the child know how valuable that person is being a member of the family can prevent this.
It is not enough to just say, "I love you." Parents should do more by spending more time and getting involved in some of the activities that the teen is doing. Mom or dad can encourage the person to practice harder learning an instrument, while participating in a sport or working on a piece of art work.
Parents should also be there to not only talk but also to listen to the teen. There are a lot of things that happen to an individual during the puberty and the best source of information should come from the parents and not from television, friends or the Internet.
When the child is still an infant, parents need to hold on to make sure he or she does not fall. As a grownup, this isn't needed anymore so part of building self esteem among teens is to learning to trust certain decisions.
Empowerment is a word used very often in the workplace. This is when people are assigned a task with minimal supervision but in the event are able to deliver the desired results. Years from now, the teen will join the workforce and before that happens, one of best things that parents can give is empowerment to make certain decisions.
Not everyone may be that self confident compared to others so parents can help along by helping the teen find that forte. If the person is good with electronics, perhaps the son or daughter can become an engineer. Those who are good in the sciences can become a doctor.
These are just two examples of what could happen to a teen by fostering such talents now with the end result ten or fifteen years from now.
Parents will not be able to make the teen always do everything which is perhaps because of free will. Mom or dad should just say something and then it is up to the teen what to do next.
This may be whether the teen has a shot at being a member of the varsity team or what school and course the teenager would like to take up in college. These are big decisions and those who are mature enough will be to overcome the challenges.
With great power comes responsibility. Parents should instill that in the minds of the teens that the decisions made are things that the individual will have to live with. The person is the only one that can control his or her destiny.
There is no magic solution in helping a teen build up that self esteem. Parents, teachers, friends and the person will just have to hope for the best.
Both John Hayward & John Samson are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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