If you are not much of a talker, you may find that making small talk takes a lot of effort so why would you even bother? The downside to this thinking is that you are limiting yourself to interacting with the people who you already know instead of having the opportunity to broaden your social, professional and personal relationships. It does not matter whether you are a good conversationalist or not. You just need to be polite, nice and knowledgeable enough, try to go out of your way to make small talk and try to feel the other person comfortable while you two are chatting. Here are some easy-to-follow tips on how to make small talk so that you can strike up a casual conversation with someone:
1. Get out of your comfort zone.
If you are the loner type and you'd rather be caught dead than making small talk with a total stranger, you need to bend a little and go out of your way to strike up a casual conversation with someone. Start with a neighbor, a co-worker, a tourist, an elderly - by conversing with the people that you get to see and meet everyday, you would get a feel of how it is to casually chat with someone and develop your conversational skills in the process.
2. Start with something simple.
A friendly "Hello" would go a long way if you want to make small talk. You can follow up this casual greeting by asking the other person about how their day has been so far. A simple and casual comment - even about something obvious is a signal to the other person that you are willing to make small talk and you would like to strike up a casual conversation with them.
3. Listening to what the other person has to say is also part of small talk.
Making small talk is also a two-way street, and you should not be the only one to do all the talking. After making a casual comment about something, try to get the other person to join in the conversation by asking questions. An exchange of words should things going. Listening is also an important part of making small talk. By intently listening, you will give the other person enough confidence to open up to you and give out the impression that you are really interested with what they have to say.
4. Be prepared to introduce general topics as a way to start the conversation.
Neutral topics which are general and not too personal or intrusive include the weather, traffic, current events, work, family, movies, television, funny anecdotes and a lot more. Finding out that you have something in common with another person is another goal of making small talk, and you may just even be surprised at what you can find out about each other. The key to making small talk is to keep the topics varied, casual and interesting. When the tables are turned and the other person is the one who introduces a topic, make an effort to respond by making a comment, giving out your opinion or sharing what you know about the subject.
5. Do not attempt to make small talk and turn it into a long, drawn out conversation that could turn out to be awkward so make your exit gracefully.
One mistake that a lot of people make is trying to extend small talk into an entire conversation. Things tend to take an awkward turn when you actually run out of things to say. That is why you need to be able to recognize when you can gracefully make your exit, say your goodbyes and tell the other person how nice it is to have a chat with them.
With these tips on how to make small talk, you can be prepared and breeze your way through the next time that you find yourself in a social setting where introducing casual conversation is the polite thing to do.
It can be a terrible ordeal for many of us. It seems to particularly strike when you are out on a date. The symptoms include: sweaty palms, forced laughter, awkward pauses, extended periods of uncomfortable silence and occasional desperate glances toward the nearest exit. It respects no person or title and has an incredible track record of ending relationships that otherwise would have blossomed. I am sure medical people have a term for it (they always do) but for the rest of us it is pretty basic. We are in trouble when it comes to making small talk.
Some people can be the life of the party with chit chat skills that rival Oprah. They seem to know what to say, when to say it and how. Is it gift? In a lot of ways the answer is yes but the ability to connect with people is not only for the chosen few.
You may not ever get your own daytime talk show but with a little practice and patience you can overcome any small talk obstacles in your dating relationship.
1. Develop Self Confidence
Without this one, it is extremely difficult to break thru the small talk barrier. It is not just a matter of speaking without being too self conscious; it also comes down to conveying the right body language. If your date sees that no matter how much you talk, you still look uncomfortable then the chances are pretty strong they will also feel uncomfortable.
Develop self confidence by engaging strangers in small talk. Whether you are in the grocery store checkout line or a crowded elevator, turn to the person next to you and start chatting. What do you talk about? Anything within reason and good taste; remember they are strangers. Talk about the weather, how slow the checkout line is moving, or ask people, "Is it Friday yet"? That one can be a major icebreaker to anyone who holds down a nine to five job.
2. Tone Down Your Self Consciousness
You can think about what you will say to your date and have it all worked out. Worked out that is until the self conscious police take over. How should I say it, what will it sound like, what will my date say,should I even say it? This is only the tip of the iceberg after the self conscious police get thru with you.
Part of having confidence and enjoying yourself on a date is the ability to think of someone other than yourself. If you want to do a personal evaluation save it until the date is over. And even then do not trash yourself. No one is perfect so critique gently and make the adjustments accordingly.
3. Stay Informed
This is an incredible dating tool. Keeping on top of news and current events is perfect for overcoming any small talk obstacles. Staying informed allows you to speak intelligently on a broad range of topics. Keep in mind however you are not doing this to show off so do not study current events like it is a college exam. The whole point is to engage your date so that both of you can feel more comfortable. Mentioning a news story you read may lead to an extended conversation where you can really get to know each other.
Again do not go overboard. Be observant to the words and body language of the other person. If the conversation is starting to drag, get a little too one sided or uncomfortably passionate then end it quickly. Try to have a few lines handy to segue into another subject or exit the current one politely.
There is no getting around dating small talk but it is also nothing to fear. Just practice your confidence, leave your self consciousness at the door and stay informed about news and currents events. Good small talk has the capability of putting your date at ease so they feel comfortable enough to share things about their life with you and vice versa.
Both Peter Murphy & D.w Campbell are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Peter Murphy has sinced written about articles on various topics from Modelling, Marketing and Web Development. Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at:. Peter Murphy's top article generates over 90500 views. to your Favourites.
D.w Campbell has sinced written about articles on various topics from Sales and Negotiation, Web Development and Dating Mistakes. There are a lot of questions you don't want to ask your date - but are absolutely necessary. If you are heading towards a serious relationship you MUST ask these . D.w Campbell's top article generates over 12100 views. to your Favourites.