Good conversations are like tennis matches, with plenty of to and fro. Questions are a really important part of that.
You can ask questions for various reasons in a conversation:
- Questions to start conversations - Questions to get to know people - Questions to clarify understanding - Questions to bring in quiet people - Questions to progress the conversation - Questions to make sure there's a next time
Let's have a look at each of those in turn:
1. Questions to start conversations:
1. Have you been here before? 2. I wonder what the tutor will be like? 3. I like your (shirt, decor etc) where did you get it? 4. Have you had to travel far to get here? 5. So you have a child in the show?...
And so on, you get the idea. Latch on to what strikes you immediately about the situation you're in and ask questions which invites the other person to respond with a comment that is more than a 'yes' or 'no'.
Some of the above questions are closed questions but since they are about topics which evoke strong feelings like children and travel - they are not likely to be met with one-word answers. There are no hard and fast rules here - relax and enjoy the conversation.
2. Questions to get to know people better:
1. Do you live around here? 2. How do you know our hosts? 3. Are you here with your family? 4. What are your hobbies? 5. Have you read any good books/been to any good movies recently?
3. Questions to clarify understanding:
These are useful to avoid misunderstanding which can either cause tension as you comment on something in an inappropriate way as you didn't understand - or you feel too out of your depth to contribute to the conversation at all.
When in doubt - ask! Something simple like, "Excuse me - I didn't quite understand that," will do.
4. Questions to bring in quiet people:
Make it easy for quite people to join in a conversation by asking them direct questions by name, but don't make it obvious you feel they're quiet.
"Hey! Have you lost your tongue?" won't work nearly as well as something like, "You went to that restaurant too, didn't you? What was it like?"
5. Questions to progress the conversation:
These build on the topic you're already talking about and take the conversation into greater depths - and so make them more interesting.
For instance, if you're talking about sport, you could ask: "You are a fan of ____ aren't you?"..."What did you think of their last game with ___ "..."What do you think of their chances of winning ___ this season?"
You get the idea, I'm sure.
6. Questions to make sure there's a next time:
Oh these are goodies! You've enjoyed talking to the person and you want to see them again. It doesn't have to be a date, just a continuation of a friendship.
You've probably got to know a little about the other person's interests by then, so your question could focus on what you have in common. If you're stuck, though - "How about we meet up for coffee at the weekend?" is always a good question.
Whatever stage of the conversation or however well you know the person, conversation questions will always help to smooth things along and get you where you want to be in talking to someone.
If you are not a 'people person' or a good conversationalist, you may find it quite difficult to start the ball rolling and make small talk whenever you are in the company of a room full of strangers. If you do not get over your fears, your inability to make small talk will prove to be a disadvantage and will inhibit you from widening your social circle. Thus, you need to exert some effort into developing your 'small talk skills'.
One of the aspects of being a good conversationalist is knowing which type of small talk questions can break the ice and make others respond into engaging into some friendly conversation with you. Take a look at these small talk questions that you can use to get the conversation going the next time that you make small talk:
1. Work-Related Questions
"What do you do?" is a sure-fire conversation starter if you do not want to exhaust mundane topics like traffic or the weather. Someone's profession is personal enough to get them talking, but not too intrusive, especially if you are speaking with a total stranger that you have just met in a social function. Small talk questions which are work-related will keep the ball rolling.
While you are engaging in small talk, it also helps to really listen to the way that they answer the questions. By listening intently and looking the person in the eye while engaging in small talk, you can gather clues about the aspect of their work that they are most passionate about and take your cue from there.
2. Questions about their Interests
Finding something that you have in common is one of the keys for a good conversation to take off. When you are engaged in small talk, ask about their interests. You can ask about the latest movie that they've seen, the type of music that they listen to or a book that they may have read. This is where you can put to good use your knowledge about a wide range of topics. A lot of people feel comfortable with others who share a common interest.
3. Family-related Questions
People love to talk about their families. If, for example, you happen to have a glimpse of a family picture, casually ask the person about them and if they have a close-knit family. Do not, however, be overly intrusive since casual acquaintances may not feel comfortable if you delve a bit deeper into their personal life. Keeping your tone and your questions casual is the key to making small talk by using family-related questions to keep the exchange of words flowing.
4. Questions about General Topics
Current events, movies, music, fashion, food - these are just some of the general questions that you can present when making small talk. If you have the opportunity of making small talk but you cannot think of anything 'witty' to say, ask questions about general topics which are usually your safest bet. Asking people about their view on current events or world events will express your interest and knowledge about what is happening around you.
Just as it is important to know which questions to ask when making small talk, it is also vital to know how to respond to the subject brought up by the person that you are chatting with. These small talk questions should give you enough of an edge to survive any type of social scene where you need to engage in mundane conversation with other people. By learning how to engage in small talk, you will have additional opportunities to go out and widen your social, and even your professional circle.
Peter Murphy has sinced written about articles on various topics from Modelling, Marketing and Web Development. Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at:. Peter Murphy's top article generates over 90500 views. to your Favourites.