1. Parents shape behavior. Children first learn from their parents and will follow their parent's examples. We must all evaluate the respect we show others particularly when we consider that our children are now watching us.
2. Start early. Start teaching your children respect as early as possible. The tone in your voice when you speak to your children and when you speak to your spouse must always be monitored.
3. How does your child treat others? Have your children treat their siblings and other children with respect. Try not to allow name calling, yelling and hitting. When your child does misbehave explain to them that this behavior is not acceptable and explain proper behavior.
4. Question authority? In the 1960's "Question Authority" buttons were popular. Now some people who wore those buttons may have a hard time teaching their children to be respectful towards authority figures. Teachers, parents, police etc are all in positions of authority and often times for a child it is not their place to question those in authority.
5. Being fair. You may be a parent who suffered from inequality as a child and therefore are trying to compensate in some way with your own children. This can quite easily lead to demanding and greedy children. You cannot always be fair but you can try very hard to be just.
6. 5th Commandment. "Honor your father and mother that your days may be long upon the land." In the earlier commandments we are instructed to love the Lord and our neighbors but for our parents we are told to honor them. The Lord even makes a deal with us, in exchange for this respect...we will have a long life.
7. Respect and manners. You will be surprised at how much more respectful your children are if you also try to teach your children good manners. Well mannered children are respectful children.
Teaching children respect is so worth the effort. Think of how you feel when you are around respectful children. For me they are a joy. Sometimes my children are part of this throng and I feel momentarily like I am enjoying success.
When 6-year-old Johnny asked his mom, "Can little kids cook?" She answered, "Certainly, with supervision." Johnny thought for a moment and said, "I want to cook. Do I need glasses?" Today you'll see that building character in children doesn't require glasses but it does require "super vision."
Effective Parenting - 3 styles of "super vision" all parents need for building character:
Vision that sees with your mind as well as your eyes Sammy's sassing, Hannah's hitting, and Billy's blaming are difficult to take when juggling work and family life. Yet they need to be viewed as disrespect and handled with firmness.
Vision that understands your role as parent When little Hector yells, "I hate you," it's disturbing but only if you let it. Avoid taking his rants and his raves personally. Deal with Hector's disrespect firmly.
Vision that grasps the long term results of your present actions Yelling at Lulu for not doing her chores and then doing them for her teaches Lulu to be lazy and disrespect your rules. Insist with firmness that she do them. This is vital to her future well-being and your self-respect as a parent.
Effective parenting - what every parent needs to remember:
You aren't born knowing how to build character in your children. You can learn. Educator Marilyn Wiltz advises, "Remember you are the parent." As the parent you are the leader, the guide, and the counselor for your children. It is important to establish a strong calm inner sense that you are the parent and you are in control. Your children will feel your inner strength if you feel it too.
Effective parenting - the biggest mistake parents must overcome:
Failing to draw the line and be the parent is the biggest mistake. When you argue, negotiate, and plead with Betty to stop her tantrum, you put Betty in charge. When you discipline Alex and then apologize, you put Alex in charge. When you tell Terry you're not going to buy the toy and then buy it for him anyway, you put Terry in charge. When you don't draw the line, you put your child in charge. When you draw the line, you put yourself in charge. You are the parent.
Effective parenting - self-talk for parents who deal with disrespectful kids:
When your Sally is screaming at the top of her lungs, stop saying, "This behavior is my fault. I'm not a good parent." Start saying, "This is Sally's problem. How can I help her?"
Effective parenting takes firm "super vision," remembering you are the parent, and drawing the line. When your kids are disrespectful, stop the yelling, stop the arguing, and get your kids to be accountable for their own behavior. You'll be teaching respect and building character too.
Both Zacharias Allred & Jean Tracy are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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