Raise Self Esteem? Low self esteem? What exactly does that mean?? High self esteem? How are they different? Self-image is a compilation of messages we have taken in about ourselves over the span of our lives If the messages are predominantly decent ones, the typical self-image we have, or more specifically, our sense of esteem for ourselves, is good. We have a good self-image. If the messages are predominantly bad ones, the average self-image we have, or more specifically, our sense of esteem we have for ourselves, is bad. Self-esteem surfaces out of the zillions of individual "introjects" (inputs we "inculcate;" that is, take in, own, as real about ourselves, etc. over the entire span of our lives.) It beginsaccumulating from the first dayand does not ceaseevolving, for better or worse. If you consider the dynamics of this process, believe it or not, both low and high self-esteems are formed in the exact same way. Only the content of our minds vary, which has a crummy effect on our moods. Initially, individual life events have an enormous impact on our self-esteems. That's because we are vulnerable, like most children are, and also because there are less other images in our brains with which to average the new, incoming message. So, one or two new messages has a greater impact on the average experience we have about ourselves. At the other end of life, we have zillions of messages already in place, bouncing around inside our heads, most of them neatly catalogued in the back of our awareness. This creates a "input resistant,", less modifiable databank. In other words, it's harder to change self-image in older people just by putting in new ideas, because there are already too many old ones in place. I've developed a technique that uses some specific cognitions to change our feelings. It turns out it's not our thoughts that change self esteem. It's our feelings. And, feelings can be created by consciously bringing up certain strategic thoughts, thus changing the feeling (because feelings follow thoughts in adults). You control the thoughts and your feelings change. You strategically apply the feelings, using the new feeling that comes in a specific way. It's a combination of two incredible techniques and they work--far better than the usual superficial techniques offered in the pop-psychology literature. It is not significant if your self-esteem has been crummy for a little while or your whole life. You're not going to try to change the whole ball of wax, just one thought at a time. I tell you how. It's actually a little backwards from what you might expect. You have to start small and work up, not think big and try to generate a rickle-down effect. The latter fails. It also doesn't matter if your self-esteem is very, very bad or just a little impaired. The same technique works equally well for both conditions. But you have to understand the philosophy and techniques behind this breakthrough idea, and for that, you have to read more of what I've written. Hello, I've been an outpatient psychologist for over twenty years. I've come across eight psychological conditions that I see every day. Self-esteem is one of them, and it's one that permeates all the other seven. Improve self-esteem and the others improve, too. Below are some links to take you to my webpages, where more details are provided.
Thanks,
Steven Griggs, Ph.D.
Negative thoughts hurt your self-esteem and positive thoughts help you feel good. To raise your self-esteem, say, sing, or write the following 50 affirmations (positive thoughts) until they become part of your automatic thinking. It is even more powerful if you add your name.
1. I, your name, am okay even when I am scared.
2. I, ____________, am a worthwhile person.
3. I, ____________, am important.
4. I, ____________, am good enough.
5. I, ____________, am okay.
6. I, ____________, am lovable.
7. I, ____________, am attractive.
8. I, ____________, am intelligent.
9. I, ____________, am creative and intuitive.
10. I, ____________, am competent and talented.
11. I, ____________, am a good person.
12. I, ____________, am wanted and I belong.
13. I, ____________, trust my decisions.
14. I, ____________, accept all my feelings.
15. I, ____________, am expressing my feelings in healthy ways.
16. I, ____________, am releasing my anger into a pillow and others and I are safe.
17. I, ____________, forgive myself for all my mistakes.
18. I, ____________, am forgiving others for all their mistakes.
19. I, ____________, am saying "no" and I am okay.
20. I, ____________, am self-caring and I am there for others.
21. I, ____________, am capable of taking care of myself.
22. I, ____________, am taking control of my life and seeing all of my choices.
23. I, ____________, am taking responsibility for my happiness.
24. I, ____________, am communicating honestly and clearly what I want and need.
25. I, ____________, am listening to what others want and creating win-win solutions.
26. I, ____________, am courageously facing the unknown, even though I am scared.
27. I, ____________, am allowing myself an abundance of love and prosperity.
28. I, ____________, see myself attractive, happy, and healthy.
29. I, ____________, am slim and in control of what I eat and drink.
30. I, ____________, am visualizing myself in a successful career.
31. I, ____________, am successful and people are very happy for me.
32. I, ____________, am modeling success for many people and I'm loved and safe.
33. I, ____________, am successful in my career and in my relationships.
34. I, ____________, am more successful than my parents and they love me.
35. I, ____________, am successful, because I want to be.
36. I, ____________, am prosperous and I am a good, honest person.
37. I, ____________, have an abundance of money and people want to be with me because they like me.
38. I, ____________, am successful and I have enough time for my loved ones and myself.
39. I, ____________, am allowing others to support and care about me.
40. I, ____________, am in a loving relationship and I am free to be me.
41. I, ____________, am in a lasting, fulfilling relationship.
42. I, ____________, am taking time to relax and play and I am productive.
43. I, ____________, am doing things effortlessly.
44. I, ____________, am taking total responsibility for my life and I am having fun.
45. I, ____________, am only responsible for my thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
46. I, ____________, like myself.
47. I, ____________, love myself.
48. I, ____________, feel peacefully powerful.
49. I, ____________, am creating what I want in my life.
50. I, ____________, believe that I deserve it all.
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