I know many people who are trying to gain more self confidence. They are serious about improving themselves and really put in the effort to do it. They will read various books, learn different techniques etc. But looking at their approach to gaining self confidence, I can't help but have the feeling that they may never achieve what they want.
As long as they still have the misconception about gaining self confidence, they will not succeed. Many seeking to develop self confidence do it hoping that some day they will reach that place of supreme confidence. They expect that one day they will finally 'get' it.
They think that by reading enough books, practicing enough exercises and so on, they will one day have that unstoppable confidence which gives them courage and drive them to take on life like never before. To them, they view confidence like a magical object to be obtained. Only when they have it will they be transformed into a different person.
Unfortunately many will discover sooner or later that they cannot achieve the kind of supreme level of confidence no matter how hard they try. The reason is simply because of this, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BEING SUPREMELY CONFIDENT!
Most people think that the great successful individuals in the world are just naturally supremely confident. People like Tony Robbins, Donald Trump, Tom Cruise etc. Many think if only they have the confidence of these individuals, then they can be just as successful. They think that successful people are naturally confident and 100% sure of themselves.
The reality is that even the most talented and successful people have doubts and insecurities of their own. No matter what they have achieved or how gifted they are, nobody is totally 100% confident. So the question is if that type of 100% supreme confidence does not exist, then how did the successful people become successful? And how come they seem so confident?
Although they may not have that supreme confidence that many assume they have, these successful individuals do have one thing that puts them apart from others.
The thing that makes the difference and sets them apart is the knowledge that there is no such thing as having a supremely confident state. They know that there will always be doubts, uncertainties etc. So unlike many others, they don't wait till they are confident enough. They don't wait till they are sure of success. This is because they know that day never comes.
They take action even though they are still unsure and not 100% prepared. Cause let's face it, we can prepare as much as we can, but we will never be 100% ready in any situation. Successful people are courageous enough to take action even when uncertain. If you want to be totally confident before you even attempt something, you can bet that you won't be attempting many things.
This understanding is important as it helps break the biggest barrier to gaining self confidence. By knowing that supreme self confidence does not exist, and by realizing that even the most successful people have doubts, fears, insecurities, etc - we will recognize that we have as much potential as them.
We can never be free of doubts. We can never reach the point where we're totally confident and prepared. We need to take action despite the doubts, and only through that will true confidence be developed.