But, as I became more involved with my clients, and their expectations, I realized I'd been wrong. The quality of writing might be good, bad, or indifferent; they didn't really care. For them, effective communication meant just one thing: Getting the right responses from their readers.
And, the more I thought about that, the more I realized that all effective communication involves the right kinds or the right numbers of responses.
When we communicate, we want something to happen. We want a particular result or results. And, when we communicate with results in mind, we're working toward effective communication.
Good writing and speaking do help us get a response, of course, because they help get the message across. As I've argued in my book, A Manager's Guide to Newsletters: Communicating for Results, a newsletter that doesn't get read cannot get a response from readers.
So, writing, designing, speaking, and all those other creative activities matter. But, in the end, responses are what count, and effective communication means getting the responses we want.
That's true for all types of effective communication, and not just marketing campaigns. Managers who send messages to employees, for example, want employees to respond in a particular way. In some cases, they want employees to act or think differently, in other cases they simply want to reinforce what the employees already do.
For a couple of employee newsletters I published, effective communication meant greater awareness of health and safety issues. If the newsletter communicated effectively, then it should have helped reduce the number of plant accidents and helped employees lead healthier lifestyles.
One more point: Effective communication cannot be achieved without articulated objectives. As the old adage goes, "If you don't know where you're going, any road will do." Or, as the inimitable Yogi Berra put it, "If you don't know where you are going... You might end up someplace else."
With that, let's create a quick and easy checklist that takes us through seven basic steps required for effective communication:
1. What is your objective, what do you want to happen? Do you want more sales, reduced employee turnover, renewals by members? Be specific about your objectives, and if you can attach time and dollar values to them so much the better.
2. Can you articulate, in terms of your objectives, what you want listeners or readers to do? What action should they take? What thoughts do you want in their minds? Do you want to reinforce existing thinking or behaviors?
3. Know why readers or listeners would do what you're asking in your message. It's all very well for you to have objectives and to send messages, but you'll also have to offer something to them, something they value. Think of commercial broadcasting, in which you get free entertainment in exchange for listening to (and sometimes responding to) commercials.
4. What message content will motivate them to act? What subjects will prompt them to act? For effective communication, look for topics that engage and motivate readers or listeners.
5. How will you present that content? Editorial approaches for effective communication include: entertaining, informing, consulting, challenging, and solving problems.
6. How often will you have to repeat the message? In many cases, you'll need multiple contacts to get the response you want. Sales people, for example, generally figure on an average of seven contacts before a prospect becomes a client or potential client.
7. Will you get enough revenue to cover the cost of communicating (if you put numbers to your objectives)? In a marketing context, for example, how many sales would you have to make to pay the cost of your advertising campaign?
In summary, aim for effective communication by following these seven steps. They move us in the right direction because they force us to think about reader and listener responses. And, when we focus on responses, we're much more likely to get the results we want.
DECLARATIVE I-MESSAGES
The declarative I-message is used when we simply want to express a need, desire, opinion or inner reality. We are not necessarily in conflict with someone, but are simply letting our feelings and needs be known by the others. Doing this wards off many potentially unpleasant situations in which we do not express our feelings and thoughts, and then feel others do not take us into consideration. Learning to make declarative messages makes a relationship much more equal and alive.
Suppressing our needs and emotions leads to feelings of resentment, abandonment and neglect. When our negative feelings accumulate, we are likely to lose our temper about some small insignificant event. Let us avoid these two extremes of suppression and aggression, and learn to be assertive about our needs, desires and opinions.
RESPONSIVE I-MESSAGES
When we are asked to do something with or for someone else, it is time for a responsive I-message. We must first decide very clearly whether we actually want to respond to what is being asked of us or not. It may be to lend something, to help someone, to go to dinner, to talk to someone for some time on the telephone, to take a position in an organization, or to donate money. We must decide whether we want to do what we are being asked, and why we do or do not want to do it. Then we must express our decision and why we have come to that decision. Some examples might be
?I thank you for your invitation to dinner, but I am extremely tired and prefer to get to bed early.?
?I am sorry, but I have decided that I cannot help you on Saturday because I feel my children and family need me more.?
?You know I really do not enjoy social activities very much anymore, so I don't think I will come this evening. Perhaps we can get together just the two of us some other time and have a deeper communication.?
?Yes, I would be glad to help you this weekend because I really love you very much and would like to express that love through my actions.?
Thus, the first step in making a responsive I-message is to clearly understand what we want to do and then to honestly express it. It may be possible that we will have mixed feelings. An example might be:
?I find myself in a dilemma because, on the one hand, I love you and would like to sit and listen to your problem right now, but on the other, I am exhausted and quite tense myself. Let me rest for a few hours and I will call you back.?
We have learned to avoid saying "no" at all costs; for fear the other will stop loving us or reject us. When we do something with or for someone out of fear of rejection, it is of no real value. It is better to offer less but with love rather than do something out of fear or a sense of obligation and build up feelings of resentment. Being able to say "yes" because we love is a higher human quality and can be developed in three basic ways:
a. Diminishing our own personal needs as much as possible so they do not require much time, energy or thought.
b. Keeping our energy level up through exercises, breathing techniques, relaxation, meditation and proper dietary habits.
c. Developing a feeling of love and compassion for others.
Of course, this yes must be used with discrimination.
a. We should avoid doing for others what they can actually do for themselves. (Unless there are important reasons, why at this time we should do this for them.) By taking on the others? responsibilities, we might hold them back in their growth process. As long as they depend on others, they will not develop the inner self-confidence, strength and responsibility necessary for their natural maturity as human beings.
b. We will also need to say not when what is requested from us is in conflict with our sense of morality, such as telling a lie.
c. And, of course, we will have to say no when we are asked to do something that is harmful to ourselves or others.
PREVENTIVE I- MESSAGES
When we have observed that a problem has developed in the past and we want to avoid the same or worse happening in the future, it is time for a preventive I-message. We hope to prevent a more serious conflict by expressing what is happening within us or what we need or will need, do or will do. The steps are:
a. We take responsibility for what we are feeling inside us, which is a result of our programming.
b. We identify what emotions and sensations we are feeling.
c. We identify what programs, needs, desires or beliefs are creating those feelings.
d. We identify the behavior of the other person that stimulates this program and the consequent unpleasant and separating feelings.
An example:
? I have a childhood conditioning that one shouldn't eat in front of others without offering them a portion. When you eat in front of me and do not offer me any, I feel disrespected and unloved. I realize that it is my problem, but I thought I should explain it to you because sometimes it affects my behavior toward you.?
Now it is time for active listening to see how the other feels. The other may have been completely unaware of the problem, or he she may have sensed it but have feared being rejected if he offered the food.
Another example:
?Dear, you know I am beginning to have negative feelings toward you lately, and I would like to discuss the problem. As you have probably realized, I have a need to be reassured of your love though affection and attention. Lately, it seems that you have been very tired or preoccupied with other things, and haven't been paying very much attention to me. Sometimes I talk to you and you do not even answer. When this happens, I feel rejected, unloved, bitter and angry toward you. I sometimes also fear that you have found someone else.
"I am trying to think positively and find strength within myself, but I do still need some more affection and attention from you. Can we discuss this? I would be very interested in what has been going on inside you all this time. I think our relationship needs this communication.?
And then we switch to active listening to understand what the other is feeling. No one has been blamed or accused of being unloving or insensitive. No feelings have been suppressed. We have a deep open communication between two responsible adults.
CONFRONTIVE I- MESSAGES
When a situation is causing us strong negative emotions and we have made some attempts to create understanding and cooperation without response, we may need to make a confrontive I-message. In addition to all the aspects of the preventive message previously mentioned, we might assertively add that we are determined to have our needs met in this situation. In some cases, when repeated communication has brought about little attention or cooperation from the other party, we may have to inform him of what we plan to do if the behavior is not changed. For example, in the previous situation, the communication may end with this message:
?And after considering all the possibilities and all of our previous attempts to solve this problem, I have come to the decision that if we cannot find a solution now and you cannot understand my needs, I have decided to leave the relationship for the time being and try living on my own.?
Both Robert F. Abbott & Robert Elias Najemy are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Robert F. Abbott has sinced written about articles on various topics from Marketing and Communications, Writing and Marketing and Communications. Robert F. Abbott, is the author of "3 Easy Ways to Power Up Your Writing." Increase your mastery of business communication by reading his easy-to-understand articles at. Robert F. Abbott's top article generates over 2900 views. to your Favourites.
Robert Elias Najemy has sinced written about articles on various topics from Self Esteem, Dating and Romance and Web Development. Robert E. Najemy, author of 25 books and life coach with 30 years of experience, has trained over 300 life coaches and now does so over the Internet. Become a life coach.Over 600 free article and lectures at. Robert Elias Najemy's top article generates over 74000 views. to your Favourites.