I need a Canadian passport renewal, I need my Canadian immigration passport renewed, I need the Canadian passport renewal procedures...I go online, I look up passport application, nothing jumps out at me. I look up Canadian passport renewal. I see Canadian passport renewal in USA? I also see the top 10 reasons passports are denied. I click on Canadian passport renewal in USA? But what comes up is top 10 reasons passports are denied. I hit the back button, I carefully click on Canadian passport renewal in USA? It tells me to go to the Canadian Embassy in Washington, DC. It would be closer for me to go back to Canada.

I look up renew US passport, I expect to find something on a Canadian passport renewal at the same time; I'm wrong again. I type in download Canadian passport application, the site that comes up has an error on the page. I'm back at a new Google search now so I type download Canadian passport application again. Forms, actual forms come up, about half a dozen different forms and many pages of explanation, too many pages of explanations. What this world needs is an Immigration Television Network I announce to no one.

I'll try Yahoo, I tell myself. Yahoo is easy. I type "Canadian passport renewal, download Canadian passport application," there are six million responses. I'm midway on page two under "Canadian passport renewal, download Canadian passport application" but I'm falling asleep. I go to bed. The phrases are still coursing through my brain. I need a Canadian passport renewal... download Canadian passport application...Canadian passport application online... Canada immigration passport... reasons passports are denied, it is like counting sheep, but sleep does not arrive. I finally get about five hours of sleep, I'm climbing out of bed at 7 a.m. and my wife says, "dear it is 7 a.m. and you're on vacation, why are you getting up?"

"I think it might be time for our Canadian passport renewal," I tell my wife. "I was trying to check on it online last night, but I got too tired."

"I had you sign the Canadian passport renewal form two months ago," she tells me. "your new passport is in your attache case that you drug along on this trip for no apparent reason. Now go back to bed, we have a long day of shopping ahead of us."