Right from the beginning of our childhood, everyone taught us how to not love and not respect ourselves just as we are.
They told us:
- You're good if...
- We love you on condition that...
- You'll get you want only if...
Again and again we learnt that just who we are is not enough. We should be different in order to be loved and accepted.
All this has harmed our self-esteem.
And now is the time to rebuild it.
So here is what you should do:
1. Stop comparing yourself with other people. You might think you are not good enough if you keep comparing yourself with others. Others are not relevant. The only person you should compare yourself with is YOU in the past.
Every day do something in order to be more than you are today (even if it's a very small step): practice meditation, learn or develop skills, do some exercise, make little improvements in your eating habits, etc.
2. The second important step is practice meditation. When you do it, you're practicing being yourself and accepting yourself just as you are. Be sure, it's the only thing that is really important. It's absolutely not relevant, how other people treat you.
3. Reduce self judgment. The less you judge, the more self esteem you will have. One can exist only on others account.
Realize the emptiness of self judgment: it's all about someone else's opinion, that you've adopted and now believe that it's yours.
Do the opposite: forget all the things people teach you about yourself and about the world, about "good" and about "bad". Only when you forget all this, you can start hearing the truth. The truth is always inside you.
How can anybody else know better than you, what is really good for you and what kind of life you should live?
They aren't successful in managing their own lives. So what can they teach you?