Have you been plagued by the nagging feeling that your husband might be having an affair? Well. Christmas is probably the ideal time to confirm your suspicions and perhaps find additional proof of your husband’s infidelity, as well.

It’s only natural for lovers to want to buy gifts for each other like everyone else during the holiday season. But this exchange of gifts could prove to be a cheating husband’s undoing.

An observant wife can find some important clues if she knows what to look for.

Gifts cost money. No man who’s cheating on his wife is going to give his lover a cheap token of his affection. If he doesn’t want to incur her wrath, he has to buy her a decent gift. Unless he’s been squirreling away small sums over a period of weeks of months, the money has to come from somewhere. Have there been any suspicious withdrawals from your checking or savings accounts? Check the time period shortly before, during, or after the holiday season. Have there been any sizeable, unexplained ATM withdrawals during this time?

What about credit card statements for the same period of time? Has he made any unusual charges at jewelry stores, boutiques or women’s specialty stores? What about actual store receipts? If you find records of purchases made for gift items that you didn’t personally receive, that should raise a red flag in your mind. Who did he give these gifts to, if not to you?

Look around your home for hidden gifts – underneath the bed, in the back of a drawer, on the floor at the back of the closet, the back of a little used shelf. Don’t forget to check the car, as well. – under the seat, in the glove compartment, the trunk, the tire well. If you find a hidden gift, don’t automatically jump to conclusions unless it’s obvious that the gift was not intended for you (too large, too small, a color or style that he knows you wouldn’t wear, or has another woman’s name attached) But if New Year’s Day rolls around and you still haven’t received the gift, then obviously it was given to someone else. Make it your business to find out who.

Beverley was ecstatic when she found s box containing a hand crafted, one of a kind gold bracelet she’d been admiring for some time. However, Christmas came and went, the box disappeared, but Beverley never received the bracelet. A few weeks later, at her health club, Beverley noticed a woman wearing a bracelet identical to the one in the box. After some discreet checking around, and finding several other clues to corroborate her suspicions, Beverly found out her husband and this woman were having an affair.

Laura found a box containing a sexy satin negligee in the trunk of her husband Paul’s car. He tried to pass it off as a gift he’s bought for her, but upon closer examination she saw that it was 5 sizes too small. Paul tried in vain to convince Laura that the salesclerk had mistakenly put the wrong size in the box. But since she’d previously found other telltale signs of an affair, his excuses fell on deaf ears.

Warning bells should go off if your husband gives or receives a gift of an extremely personal nature. No woman other than yourself should be giving your husband ½ dozen pairs of silk boxer shorts for Christmas -- unless it’s his mother or his sister (and even then you should check to make sure.)

Also be wary if your husband gives or receives a disproportionately extravagant gift to or from any woman who is supposedly a casual friend or business acquaintance. Any unusually expensive gifts that suddenly appear in his possession during the holidays should be regarded at with suspicion. Especially if he tries to pass them off as things he purchased for himself, but can’t produce any receipts.

If you’ve found other warning signs of infidelity during the previous weeks or months, the Christmas gifts could be the missing pieces of the infidelity puzzle. Sit down and have a serious talk with your husband. Your marriage may be in jeopardy. Find out what’s going on before it’s too late.

© 2003