Let's face it; dating usually isn't a walk in the park. Many of us think that successful dates are haphazard events. We aren't quite sure how we pulled it off, or we think that we just got lucky. I'm here to tell you otherwise. Successful daters all have at least 5 skills up their sleeves.
Skill #1 -- Keep the End Goal in Mind
Successful daters have a plan of action. I often ask my clients "How will you know if your date was successful?" When I get the typical, "Umm, I don't know", that's a clear first sign that this won't be a successful date. Mike James, President of MatchRanger.com, one of the internet's most popular online dating sites states that, "In essence, if you want to succeed, you need to set yourself up for that success." Your goal can be anything as long as it's measurable.
Examples of goals are:
-- My goal is to get a kiss by the end of the night. -- My goal is to get to know my date on an intimate level. -- My goal is to 'score' tonight. -- My goal is to create a lasting friendship. -- My goal is to get my date drunk. -- My goal is to have my date fall in love with me.
Skill #2 -- A Great Story Wrapped In Confidence
One of the secrets of being a successful dater is having a great story about yourself and your life. Preferably, it's a true story about why you are interesting, unique, and deserve the company of your date. You can create your story by thinking of bullet points about your life. For example, when someone meets me they know that I lived in Australia for 3 years, have a college degree, am a certified scuba rescue diver, and am a life coach by profession. These are all bullet points that make up my story and set me apart from other people.
You can create your story by asking yourself the following questions:
-- How am I unique? -- What's something interesting about my past? -- What recreational activity/ hobby do I enjoy? -- What is my career or future career?
Skill #3 - The Gift of Conversation
"Unless you are going to spend most of your date at the movies, you need to have a certain level of conversational skills in order to have a successful date," states James of http://www.MatchRanger.com .
General Tips for Successful Conversations are:
-- Start by finding out your dates 'story' and then share yours. -- Have at least 3 general topics to talk about. -- Try to avoid politics and religion on first dates unless you know for certain you share similar points of view. -- Discuss something that you are passionate about.
Skill #4 - The Art of Listening
Have you ever noticed two people on a date where one is doing all the talking? How interested does the listener look? Don't let your date be the uninterested listener!
Here's something you want to consider. Human beings in general don't listen. The next time you are in a conversation and the other person is speaking, notice that you are often times really thinking about what you will say next.
Tips for Successful Listening are:
-- As a general rule of thumb try to keep the conversation flowing 50/50. -- Once you've shared an opinion or stated a point, ask for your date's opinion or feedback. -- Try your best not to interrupt your date.
Skill #5 - Close the Deal
Here's your opportunity to see if your date was really a success. If you've followed this structure, you've kept your goal in mind throughout your entire date. There is only one of two reasons that your goal won't be realized. One reason is your date wasn't on the same page as you. The second reason is, you didn't bother to 'close the deal' therefore sabotaging your own efforts. Don't let the latter happen to you!
Strategies for Closing the Deal are:
-- Verbalize your goal. Examples of this are: "I would like to kiss you now", "Want to go back to my place?", "I think this is the start of a great friendship. What are your thoughts?" etc. -- Take a chance and act. You could just kiss her and hope she returns the kiss. Or, you could say "I love you" and hope that she reciprocates favorably.
Make These Skills Your Skills
Start creating successful dates today using these five proven strategies. Get your feet wet by having "mock dates" with a friend. This way, when you're on a real date, you'll already feel like a seasoned successful dater. If you're ready to try this out in the real world, visit MatchRanger.com to line up future successful dates!
Maria Anderson has sinced written about articles on various topics from How To Grow Wealth, Dating and Romance and First Date. Maria Anderson is America's hottest dating coach. For years she has been showing singles how to meet and be successful at the dating game. For more proven dating advice check out:http://www.OnlineDateDr.com. Maria Anderson's top article generates over 135000 views. to your Favourites.