For many of us, the idea of transforming our lives sounds like a fairy tale. It seems like we have been dreaming about that illusive "someday" forever, yet we never actually arrive in "someday land" since we keep projecting further into the future. "When I lose weight, I'll feel good." "When I get married, I'll be happy." "Having children will fulfill me." "When my children get older, I'll have more time." Daydreaming about the future is not bad in itself; however, when we stop enjoying the present because it never matches up to our fantasies, we often become disillusioned. It's possible to take daily action steps toward our dreams while enjoying life to the fullest in the present moment. If we want to play starring roles in our own lives, it is essential to treat ourselves as well as, if not better, than we might treat a special guest.

It helps to ask ourselves how we would speak to someone we admired and respected. What kind of food would we serve this person? How would we go out of our way to make this visitor feel nurtured and welcome? Would we give him or her moments of our undivided attention? If we were buying clothes for this individual, what quality would we buy? Would we use our best china, crystal, and linens, or would just any old thing do?

Our actions toward ourselves say a great deal about the value we place on our own needs, wants, and desires. It is essential that we stop expecting others to treat us better than we treat ourselves. We can try these tips for making ourselves a priority in our own lives.

1. Take a moment before we get out of bed in the morning to stretch, savor the sensation of being alive, and set clear intentions for what we want our day to look like.

2. Check in with ourselves on a regular basis and ask some of these questions: What do I need to do for myself in this moment? If I were determined to make the most out of this day, what would I do? What are the sensations in my body right now? What does IT need? What matters most to me today? If I made taking care of myself a priority today, what would I do differently?

3. Find a way to pamper ourselves each day - reading a good book, taking a walk, getting a manicure/pedicure, taking time to enjoy our meals, talking to a friend, writing a letter, spending time with a journal, meditating, napping, etc.

4. Learn to enjoy our own company.

5. Dress to please ourselves.

5. Drink a favorite beverage from a beautiful crystal goblet or coffee mug.

6. Eat foods we love, and serve them to ourselves on our best china.

7. Rid our closets of clothes that no longer suit us, and only wear what we absolutely love.

8. Have a "spa" night on a regular basis.

9. Schedule time for ourselves in our appointment calendars.

10. Wrap small surprise gifts for ourselves, and open them when the mood suits us.

11. Write letters of appreciation to ourselves.

12. At the end of the day, take time for reflection.

Copyright 2008 by Holly Cox, L.C.P.C., C.D.C?