7) Be certain you both want to be there. This may sound remedial – but it's true – if either of you are not certain you're doing the right thing – it will reflect in your wedding plans, your attitudes and ultimately in your wedding.

6) Regardless of their feelings toward your wedding – the support of your family is important. This one can be difficult but it's important. Maybe it's a disapproving mother, or an overbearing father – regardless – gain the support of family. Rarely will you change their mind about something – better to ask for their support – not necessarily their agreement. Part of loving someone is supporting them – even when you disagree.

5) Enjoy the wedding planning process. Guys, you've got to listen to this one. Generally, men are clueless about the importance of a wedding ceremony to a woman. Men tend to underestimate the importance of the wedding planning process. Take it on the chin for her – at least act like you're interested in what she's doing. You'll never know how much time and effort she'll put into this “little ceremony” nor will you know how much it means to her.

4) Don't get so focused on wedding plans that you forget to nourish your relationship. How many times have you seen people get completely focused on the wedding – you wonder what happened to the relationship?

3) No wedding will be perfect – rarely will a wedding proceed perfectly as planned. Plan on enjoying the ceremony and laughing at the bloopers – trust me you will have bloopers.

2) Ladies, do it your way and have it like you want it. This is your big day – don't feel guilty about spending a little extra money to have the wedding you desire. You're entitled to this day – so do it right.

1) Don't forget, the wedding is the beginning of the marriage. Ever heard of the post-wedding blues? After this lovely wedding – a truly real marriage will follow. Think of the wedding and planning as a part of the marriage. All too often – so much energy and effort is focused on wedding plans – the marriage is lost in the shuffle. Think of the wedding as a part of the marriage – the planning process will proceed more smoothly - and it will show on your wedding day and those days after.

E Lawrence Welch