good. Most people don't draft prenuptial agreements nor do they give consideration to

seeking legal help from a child custody attorney down the line (because kids usually are not in

the picture yet). It feels like giving up on your marriage before even getting started.

Recommending a premarital agreement is asking two people who are thoroughly in love and

convinced that this is a marriage made to last forever to, in effect, negotiate their divorce

settlement before they say "I do." Any way you dress it up, that's a real downer for romance.

Regardless, it may be the smartest decision you make.

In California, you can only enforce a prenuptial agreement if it's fair at the time you're

enforcing it (a tough standard). There are many requirements that must be met in drafting an

agreement that will be enforceable. It may be voidable if the party you're trying to enforce

it against had representation when you negotiated and signed the agreement and you did not,

or if you signed it less that seven days before you got married. Consequently, in family law

San Diego couples who negotiate and execute prenuptial agreements are both represented by

lawyers.

If you and your new spouse-to-be really aren't going to do the prenuptial thing, there are

some practical steps both of you can take to control the way your property, debts, income

and expenses merge. Many San Diego divorce attorneys recommend that you first, prepare a

thorough inventory of everything you own and everything you owe as of your wedding day.

You can do this without even sharing it with your spouse. But if the two of you can

cooperate, you could each prepare an inventory and then sign a document indicating that

you've each shared this information with your spouse.

Second, to the extent that you want property you acquired before your marriage to remain

separate, treat it that way. Don't use it for the benefit of the marriage. San Diego family law

experts explain that if you sell or liquidate any of it, make sure you deposit the proceeds in a

separate account in your name only and that you don't use the proceeds for the benefit of the

marriage.

If you already know that you're going to use some of your separate property for the benefit

of the marriage, go ahead and pull out that much cash and deposit it into an account you can

both draw out of, leaving the remainder of the separate property in the original account and

preserving its separateness.

As your marriage continues, you may be tempted to tap into your separate property account

for expenses of the marriage, like a down payment on a house or an investment in a business.

Just realize that every time you tap your separate property for a marital purpose, you make

it look more like marital community property.