For children with seriously low self-esteem, getting the right help is very important. For parents of children with low self-esteem it is very important to consider how our own behavior can influence their self regard.
Children feel reassured by parents who are calm, warm and loving. It is important to give children reassurance that helps them open up and explain how they feel. It is important to be sensitive when children feel they are not succeeding. Telling them how proud you are of their efforts, how much you think they have achieved, is better than telling them they will surely get in the team next time, or pass the exam next time.
Children will be facing lots of different new experiences of course and should have realistic expectations of their achievement. No child is going to win everything or be top at everything. Most of us don't get to be top at anything. Most of us are just regular people. Doing something to the best of our ability is what most of us aim for. Success in life is not about being the best. Success is about all sorts of things. Children need to know they are succeeding, so need to know about all the ways in which they can succeed.
It is always a good idea to praise children when they show that they are:
- Being good friends to other children - Learning to value themselves and others - Helping younger children as mentors - Putting all their effort into new challenges - Learning how to treat other people well - Learning how to deal with coming second or third, or twenty third - Learning the difference between good behavior and bad behavior - Being able to deal with criticism
If children have low self esteem it can be hard for them to explain how they feel. This can be very difficult if they already feel they are failing, and not as good or clever as their friends. Gentle support will help children feel comfortable enough to tell you how they feel.
Children suffering from low self esteem can suffer badly. It is important to recognize signs of low self esteem in children, and to learn how best to help boost their confidence and help them deal with being regular kids and not necessarily top achievers.
Advice and help should be available in most schools, or though your local medical centre. If professional counseling is considered necessary, do listen to your child if they say they don't get on with the counselor - like all of us it is possible to get on well with some people but not others. This is even more important for children who can find it hard to talk about how they feel to adults they don't know.
Building children's self-esteem and confidence is something in which both parents and teachers have a vested interest. Sadly not every child develops with healthy self-confidence or strong self-esteem. The reasons for this may be many, but that is for another article. What will be covered here are some tips and strategies for building children's self?esteem and confidence that should bring good results
It is never too late to start building children's self-esteem and confidence. From the time they are infants and can make eye contact our children look to us for feedback. They smile at us and we smile back which gives them positive feedback. They role over and we are excited, so are they and on it goes. If we treat this gift we are given of having such impact on another human being's life with respect, our child has the opportunity of growing into a confident child and than a teenager.
Self-esteem is a healthy and optimistic view of one's value. If a child evaluates him or herself positively and realistically rather than negatively and unrealistically then it is usually deemed that they have healthy self-esteem.
Most of the research available tells us that children with healthy self-esteem do the following:
1. Downplay and accept mistakes, failure and imperfections. They don't dwell on mistakes or failure. They seem to understand that mistakes are part of the learning process. They are annoying and hindrance but they don't necessarily prevent them from trying again.
2. Are willing to try and show initiative. Conversely, children with low self-esteem give up easily or show little confidence in areas that are new.
3. Acknowledge their own contributions to success. They take realistic credit for their successes without be boastful or saying that any achievement happened due to luck or good fortune.
4. Display favourable attitudes to others. Children with healthy self-esteem don't need to put others down to feel competent. They get a kick out of others performing well and are not threatened by the success of siblings or friends.
5. Generally behave well. Children with healthy self-esteem generally believe ?I am okay as I am.? They do not have to find their place in their family or in groups through misbehaviour.
6. Highlight their own strengths, successes and skills. Healthy self-esteemers neither put themselves down when they do well nor do they exaggerate their own skills or successes to gain a sense of superiority. They tend to make realistic appraisals of their abilities.
7. Take reasonable risks. They will try new tasks even if success is not assured.
8. Compare themselves to similar children or young people, not glossy images. It is natural and healthy to compare yourself to others but the choice of yardstick is critical. Children and young people with low self-esteem tend to use unrealistic figures as yardsticks for success. While we often encourage kids to aim high, kids with low self-esteem are easily put of by failure so the choice of role model is critical.
9. Have a positive outlook and use positive language. Take note of the language a child or young person uses. Healthy self-esteemers know how to positive track or reframe negative situations into positives and low self-esteemers so problems rather than challenges.
10. Believe that personal limitations can be worked on. Children with healthy self-esteem know that success is linked with effort. That is, hard work is no guarantee of success but it certainly increases its likelihood.
In the past it was thought that we could enhance self-esteem by simply making a child feel good about themselves. This is too simplistic indeed.
The building blocks of self-esteem are multi-dimensional and include the following four aspects:
? positive parent, family and teacher interactions and expectations
? positive peer interactions
? coping skills and,
? successes that demonstrate competence and mastery.
Parents and teachers need a range of skills and strategies to help children develop a healthy self-esteem and maintain it even when events conspire to really challenge them.
Both Allan Wilson & Nick Clipton are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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