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[C592]Children With Separation Anxiety
by Sarah Veda, Sar

Separation anxiety usually comes in two forms - daytime – meaning your child doesn't like strangers and only wants you, and nighttime, when your child has restless sleep because of being separated from you.

Nighttime separation can be easier to alleviate, since there is not a fear of a stranger, just the fear of being away from you. If your child who used to sleep through the night starts waking up regularly at around one year of age, it's probably separation anxiety. Try spending a little extra time with him just before bedtime, rocking, singing or cuddling. Give him your undivided attention for half an hour and you may find that he sleeps better during the night. This is particularly important on days when he has been away from you most of the day.

Separation anxiety during the day is a combination of not wanted to be separated and a fear of strangers, even when the strangers aren't really strangers at all. In particular, your baby probably raises quite a fuss when you decide to leave him with a sitter. One thing you need to realize is that this is partly a manipulation tactic, and partly just because he is so attached to you that he never wants you to leave. More than likely the crying stops the minute you are out of sight, because your little one realizes that there is no further point in crying, because his audience is gone.

There are a few things you can do to make this parting easier. The first is to always have the sitter come a little while before you have to leave. Not only does this give you a little time to get ready, but it allows the baby to get comfortable with his caretaker. The second and most important thing is to always say goodbye to your child. Trying to sneak out to avoid the fuss will only cause more harm in the long run. Your baby might come to think that you could leave at any moment with no warning. Thirdly, don't make a long ordeal of leaving. Tell your baby goodbye, kiss him and remind him that you'll be home soon and he'll have fun with the sitter for a little while. Then leave. Don't keep coming back in to calm him. Just leave. The longer you let it go on, the more hysterical he'll become.

Separation anxiety generally lasts for a few months, and then fades away. It is a normal stage of development, and though it can be heart wrenching for you, it is a sign of healthy emotional development, because it is a sign of bonding. So, take a deep breath, and go on a date with your husband. It's good for everyone involved!


I try to leave my child and the minute I walk out of the room, she starts crying or screaming for me. Please help this gone crazy mom of how I can help my baby let me leave her for just a little bit. I think she has toddler separation anxiety but I just want to know how to overcome this.

Thanks,
Carol

Carol,

It is normal for your baby to be going through what they are going through. For nine months, they were attached to us 24 hours a day 7 days a week. We were their lifeline and they have to learn their independence from us. Their whole mentality knows they are sensing this whole new freedom from mom, but yet they have reservations about beginning new things. The mom can help teach them independence by taking baby steps and not trying to separate from them without building up the process. You may ask, what steps can we take?

Start out small. Let them play in the living room as you go to the next room (room needs to be in eye view) to do a certain task as folding clothes. Make sure you are keeping eye contact with them and reassuring that mom is right here. Speak in positive, upbeat words. The first time may not work, but just keep repeating yourself and do it over and over until they are fine with you being in the next room.

Stretch the time being gone. When dad or another caregiver comes home, go and take a shower or soak in a nice bubble bath. Reassure the child you will be back. Never sneak away from the child as this will leave a bad coping skill with her and think you are never coming back. Give it 15 or 20 minutes and show your presence to the baby. Hug her and let her know you missed her, but will always return when mommy goes. After you do this a few times and she gets used to the ide of you being gone for that short amount of time, try going to the store for a longer period of time. You can continue to stretch each trip until you feel comfortable with the time you are being gone, for example if you are trying to build up to a night out of town with your signifcant other.

By taking things slowing, it will help you and your child overcome toddler separation anxiety with much less tears, heartbreak and stress. The baby will continue to grow her independence from you and will soon love her new found freedom of having playtime with dad, grandma or grandpa, or other special friend.

Hang in there mom it will get better and know other moms are going through the same thing as you right now.

Fellow Mom,
Jen
Article Source : Pg. 17

About Author
Both Sarah Veda & Jennifer Houck are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Sarah Veda has sinced written about articles on various topics from Travel and Leisure, Home Management and Air Purifier Cleaners. Sarah is a 41 year old wife and mother of two boys and one girl. She spent many years as a manager in the corporate world, and gave it up to be a stay at home mom.. Sarah Veda's top article generates over 27100 views. to your Favourites.

Jennifer Houck has sinced written about articles on various topics from Cure Anxiety, Gardening and Work From Home. Jennifer Houck is the owner of the online Parent Center at to where you can find many more resources and tips to help in the daily journe. Jennifer Houck's top article generates over 60500 views. to your Favourites.
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