As a parent, it is your duty to discover and develop his hidden talents and not impose your own desires on him to fulfill your dreams. The key is to have positive and reasonable expectations for your children. But, it is not easy to draw a line between reasonable and unreasonable expectations.
It helps to read books, do some research and educate yourself about what to expect from your child at every stage. These books are written by experts and experienced parents. They will help you get a fair idea of what to expect.
These books will also help you look at your child more objectively. It means that you will look at the child and his capacity without bringing your own desires and aspirations into it. For instance, if the established guideline is that children don't develop full sentence speech till they are at least a year old, expecting a full sentence out of your six-month old isn't a reasonable expectation.
Similarly, if your child is an average student, expecting average grade work is reasonable because he is doing his best. As a parent, you need to review your expectations from your child every now and then, because you never know when you suddenly start demanding more from them than they can deliver.
Remember, unreasonable expectations lead to disappointment. You can save yourself a lot of frustration if you keep your expectations reasonable. Unreasonable expectations can damage the self-esteem of the child irreparably. So, be very conscious of what you expect your child do; he may not be able to measure up to some of your expectations.
It is equally important to convey your reasonable expectation in child behavior to your child. You can formulate a set of goals in different areas of child discipline, and hold to them. Make sure to reward your children for meeting those expectations and encourage them to reach more, once they've reached one.
Often times, having had the success of reaching and meeting the first expectation, your children will be able to meet that higher expectation. The biggest thing to remember is to not push your desires onto your children. If you were never good in sports but you wanted to be the star athlete of your school, to make that dream come true, don't push your child to be a superstar against his or her will. Also, don't force your child into athletics just because he or she is good at it. That's placing your expectations from your past onto your children. That only creates a negative environment, child behavior problems and child discipline issues. Reasonable expectations promote growth and positive self image and are an essential parenting skill.
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A young boy when asked how he felt on his thirteenth birthday, said, ?But for the reputation everything else is fine.? Teenage brings problems with it for the child and the parents. It is a trying time for all concerned. But, with a better understanding of the situation, you can transform the teenage years of your child into joyful years rather than reel under stress and cause tension all around.
Here are some tips to help you survive the teenage blues:
Deal with situations as they appear. Don't worry unnecessarily about what all can go wrong. Learn to trust your child but be there for him when he needs you. Accept the fact that parents and books can teach only so much; the rest they will learn from life's experiences.
The most important thing for parents to do is build a rapport with your teenager. It always helps to treat your teenager as an adult; it boosts their ego and prepares them for what is coming.
Treating your child as an adult essentially means giving more freedom and putting more responsibility on him. When you treat your child as an adult you give him the respect of an equal.
An easy way to do this is to extend curfew, or include them in more adult conversations. Take their opinions on family matters such as where to go for holidays and the like.
The secret lies in understanding your child and how he feels about various issues. Each child has different needs, but one thing that is common with them is that don't like being viewed as a child. This bit of parenting advice can head off child behavior and child discipline problems.
Giving responsibility to your teen child solves most discipline problems. Children often misbehave only to assert themselves. Once they know they are responsible for their actions they will correct their behavior automatically.
If your teen has reached the age where he or she is old enough to work, talk to them about getting a part time job. Make sure he or she understands that school is the most important thing he or she is doing in his or her life but encourage him or her to gain some financial freedom. If he or she is working, have him or her be responsible for purchasing school supplies.
As a parent, it's your responsibility to start stepping back and letting your child slowly sit on the driver's seat. It helps them learn that the real world is probably a lot different than what was imagined as a child.
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