Marriage is an institution based on trust. When that trust is broken by either spouse, the results can be devastating. The effects of infidelity on family are felt not just by the couple, but by their children, friends, and other family members as well. Once a spouse cheats, the road to rebuilding the marriage is long and difficult. However, there are some ways to promote healing after an affair.

Marriage counseling can have a large effect on a hurt marriage. A good marriage counseler helps each spouse express their feelings about each other in a calm and orderly way without yelling and fighting with each other. Their job is to help ease difficult problems and they handle each couple with comfort and care.

Along with marriage counseling, family counseling should be considered as well. The effects of infidelity on family also apply to the children involved in the situation. Your entire family will need to band together to work through this crisis. The counselor will be able to teach your family the best way to deal with their feelings and will help to move the healing process along.

If you're a religious person, you can seek help within your spiritual/religious group. Pastors, rabbis, or other spiritual leaders are there to help your time of crisis seem a little more bearable and easier to handle. They will understand if you have have problems in your marriage and will be happy to ablige your request for help in your time of need. Be sure to choose someone who has experience with infidelity recovery as bad advice can further damage your weakened relationship.

Family and friends will be there for support too. Although they will most likely be mad at the cheating spouse for ruining the couple's commitment, they will be there to help get through the troubled times. The people who really do care for you as a couple will always be there for guidance when they're needed. However, it is best not to disclose the whole situation to everyone. Together with your spouse, choose 2-3 "safe" people with whom you can share your struggles. This will help quell rumors and protect your relationship. If possible, seek out confidants who have experienced infidelity.

There are certain things that each spouse needs to keep in mind through out this entire process. After infidelity, the betrayed spouse will be very angry, sometimes depressed or on edge. Since such a large trust was broken, they may question the unfaithful spouse often. They may be depressed. Additionally, many people who have been cheated on are so hurt they cannot be around the other spouse. If this is the case, the unfaithful spouse may want to move out temporarily while counseling is still ongoing.

The spouse who has cheated will usually feel large amounts of guilt and may also experience depression. At this time, reassuring the other spouse of their trustworthiness will be of little use. The unfaithful spouse should be very loving, caring, and understanding of the betrayed spouse's feelings towards them. If they want to remain in the marriage, they should attend counseling and show a strong willingness to cooperate with any of their betrayed spouse's needs.

In closing, the effects of infidelity on family are devastating. Trust is the backbone of a marriage and can be very hard to rebuild. However, the marriage and family can be saved if the people work together towards the road to recovery and healing.