Finding that “perfect" therapist for your child with Down Syndrome can be a frustrating endeavor. Babies who have disabilities usually begin multiple therapies in the first three months of life through some form of early intervention services and/or private sources. When you are just beginning this journey, it can be difficult to know if your therapist is right for you and your child.
Things to look for in a therapist: (not listed in any particular order)
Cleanliness
Does the therapist wash her hands or wear gloves when touching your baby’s mouth. When my son was about 2 months old we had our first meeting with the occupational therapist because he had some feeding issues due to his cleft palate. Before we could start working on his problems feeding, she had to do an assessment. Guess how she assessed the strength of his suck. You guessed it; she put her ungloved, unwashed finger in his mouth and tried to get him to suck. Needless to say, I was appalled. Being that I was still intimidated by all that was going on in my life at that point, I did not say anything to her. She came back one more time. That visit did not go any better... She brought him a special bottle (called a Habermann Feeder) to help with his feeding problems. Without going into detail, the session was no better (no more hygienic) than the first. After that I spoke with our service coordinator and requested a new OT.
It was hard for me to do because I thought, “Well, this is a free service, maybe I should just be happy with what I can get." In the end, that did not cut it though. My son’s health was more important.
The point? Make sure your therapist washes her hands anytime she manipulates your child’s eating utensils and never let anyone stick their ungloved fingers in your baby’s mouth. Even if they wash their hands before, there are always germs left under the nails, etc. Children with Down Syndrome(such as my son) usually have weakened immune systems, so it should go without saying that extra care should be taken to ensure your child’s health. Call me picky or paranoid, but I want my baby to stay healthy
Knowledge
Does she seem knowledgeable? The therapist should, ideally, have a firm knowledge in several areas. First of all, they need to know “normal" development. This is so important. For instance, if a child has been sleeping through the night and all of a sudden, between around nine and twelve months of age he starts getting up in the middle of the night again, (this is around the time a baby acquires the new skills of pulling himself up, standing, etc.) the therapist needs to know that is part of normal development. This baby has learned something new and if he wakes up in the middle of the night, he’ll want to test it out again. He now has a whole new perspective of his world outside the crib. Someone who does not know “normal" development would not know that. They also need to know of the ways in which a child with Down Syndrome tends to compensate for his musculoskeletal differences. This is the only way she can effectively teach you and your child the proper way for him to move.
If the therapist walks in with a couple of Xeroxed pages, starts reading from them and seems like she has never done this before…RUN! Seriously though, you may want to consider asking for a new therapist. I understand that people have to learn, but I also believe that a therapist (new or seasoned) should walk into an appointment prepared enough so she doesn’t need a “cheat sheet". In the end, you want the best for your child.
Personality
Does your child’s therapist seem to enjoy kids? Most of the therapists we have had genuinely seemed to enjoy working with Sam (and his 4 year old sister). I believe that if the therapist is uncomfortable with kids, or not genuinely interested, the kids can tell. Sammy was naturally drawn to the therapists who were most open and playful with him. Ideally, the therapist would have kids of her own, in order to know typical child behaviors.
Credentials and Experience
Don’t be afraid to ask for credentials and qualification
Ask about work experience. You don’t want a therapist (for a child with Down Syndrome) who has just transferred from geriatrics to pediatrics. That might be great for your grandmother, but not for your child. The two areas are as different as night and day.
Know that an occupational therapist can not effectively do the job of a physical therapist and vice versa. The two are not interchangeable. They can complement each other but not replace each other.
On a final note, you will be seeing this person at least once every two weeks, if not more, so just make sure you are happy with her and don’t be afraid to speak up.
Were you an only child, or the first or last offspring who received a lot of attention from many family members? Or did you have a professional nanny to take care of you? Did you get everything you wanted whenever you wanted it? Do you believe that everything is coming to you and everyone should put their needs aside for you to be pleased?
If you are, you may be suffering from the spoiled child syndrome. As a Marriage, Family, Child Therapist for many years, I noticed that the clients who were spoiled had a very difficult time in their lives. They had inadequate people and coping skills. Unfortunately, without that being their intent, the parents did not prepare them for life.
Generally speaking, I found the men and women to be emotionally weak and lacking self confidence; especially if their parent or parents gave them all they needed and wanted even in their adult life. They were not taught to be considerate of others and did not understand what was wrong and how to fix the problem. They also often did not know how to manage their finances.
The scenario was something like this. When they went to school and had to deal with other people beyond their family, they had a rude awakening. It was strange to them that others would not cater to them. In fact, their self centered behavior caused them rejection and shook their self-esteem.
Of course it affected all of their relationships, including their romantic ones. They often tried to numb their resulting pain and loneliness with addictions-workaholic, overeating, gambling, drugs, tobacco, or alcohol.
An example is John, a 55 year-old ex-neighbor. When he was a child, he received everything he wanted. John's mother was overly giving and his father was very busy most of the time achieving wealth for his family. The young boy's nanny was instructed to please him and keep him happy.
Unfortunately, John suffered from the spoiled child syndrome. He never married and was always trying to "buy people" with his money. He also became an alcoholic, gambler and prescription drug addict.
The truth is that John felt very insecure and lacked the social skills necessary to create healthy friendships and relationships. He also did not know how to manage his money.
When his widowed mother died and left him a million dollars, John bought five houses, two cars and a motor home. He did not have a job or a way to bring in an income. However, he continued to try to attract friends by being overly generous. Ironically, his low self-esteem and poor social skills would then push them away. When John had to sell a home or car to have the money he needed to live, he then also gambled away his profits. The last I heard of the troubled man, he was homeless and living on the beach.
If you relate to the spoiled child syndrome, it is not too late to improve your life. The following are some helpful suggestions.
1. Realize that you are special and so is everyone.
2. Know that we are all equally important and deserve to be heard and considered.
3. Express what you would prefer (avoid demands) and ask the other person(s) what they would like.
4. Honor other people's beliefs and desires.
5. Look to complement others.
6. Be generous with your time, energy and things.
7. Be considerate of others needs and wants.
8. Make sure that there are win-win solutions.
9. Take classes and/or read books on how to manage your finances.
10. Learn good communication skills.
11. Increase your self-esteem with books, classes, and/or counseling.
With these healthy goals in mind, you can overcome the spoiled child syndrome and experience joy and success.
Both Caroline Brose & Helene Rothschild are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Caroline Brose has sinced written about articles on various topics from Babies, Parenting. Caroline Brose is an RN and mother of eight children, the youngest of whom has Down Syndrome. Her experience with Down Syndrome is mostly personal. She writes articles about Down Syndrome as a result of the research she has done since her son was born. Sh. Caroline Brose's top article generates over 5400 views. to your Favourites.
Helene Rothschild has sinced written about articles on various topics from Essential Oils, Alternative Medicine and Mothers Day. Copyright 2006 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, a Marriage, Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, speaker, and author. Her newest book is, "ALL YOU NEED IS HART!?. She offers phone sessions, teleclasses, books, e-books, MP3 audios, tapes, posters, inde. Helene Rothschild's top article generates over 110000 views. to your Favourites.