First, we need to consider the purpose of your message. It is not to "sell" the prospect. C'mon, it's a recording, it can't possibly do that! But what it can do is deliver to you a positively interested, qualified prospect. That prospect may have questions, but you can answer those later, once you've created a relationship. Also, please remember that your message is short, 45 seconds maximum. It has a lot of work to do, and it needs to do it very quickly.

So... the first crucial component is not really a component of the script, but it needs to be a component of your mindset as you create your script. And this is the most important component of the script writing process.

That is to always, always, remember, there must be a reason for every word. Most recorded messages consist of 160 words or less, so use them wisely.

The second crucial component is to remember that people most love to listen to WII-FM - you know, "What's In It For Me". As you consider every word, every sentence, make sure you present your ideas from the prospect's standpoint - "you" language is much better than talking about "me", or "our company"... Focus on the benefits to the listener, or on the problem that your service solves. Folks care much more about how they can benefit, than about how experienced or smart your staff is, or how solid your firm is. (These types of "credibility" statements are fine if used sparingly. Most credibility issues cannot possibly be answered by a recording in a few seconds! Later, once you're speaking with a prospect, you will be able to describe these aspects of your offer, or company, much more effectively.)

A "credibility" builder in a recorded message need not take up much time at all. It could be something as short and sweet as "we've helped thousands of businesses financing without a bank for 30 years". (And you'll note that 5 of these 12 words are actually also a benefit - "by financing without a bank".) The bottom line regarding "credibility statements" is that they rarely will do much to get a qualified and interested party to transfer to you, so consider their use carefully.

Exception - The issue of "credibility" is ultimately really about believability, And one of the most powerful builders of believability is - a bold Guarantee! If you can work a solid guarantee into your script, it will be a potent addition, once you've done a good job of describing the problem that you can solve.

And the third crucial component is to include a qualifying statement, as it applies to your market. A strongly qualifying statement may reduce the number of responses you get, but will usually increase the quality of those responses, with a corresponding reduction in your lead cost.