Often the people that want counseling for anger management are not stereotypical bullies. They have professional jobs and loving, though sometimes troubled wives and kids.

So why do they lose it so easily and hurt the wives and kids they love? There is no straight answer to this all-important question.

It is usually due to a mixture of factors. The role of counseling for anger management is not delving into the past, so much as it is to gain insight into the triggers that spark the rage, now- in the present.

However, as the person, with the aid of their therapist, grasps a meaningful understanding of the problem, additional factors may be considered, including significant experiences from childhood and parenting. Often, its possible to see that experiences from childhood, whether they are relatively benign or very traumatic, connect to the persons experience in the present.

We know that because the person will often remember and visualize such memories in rage-triggering situations in the present. The good news is that now that you are an adult, you have more resources and knowledge then when you were a kid.

This means that you can start to use these resources to make changes in the psychological and behavioural factors that worsen your rage or loss of temper. Psychotherapy and anger management counseling teaches you how to do this.

Anger management counseling will teach you about the link between events, thoughts, moods, feelings, behaviour and your angry outcomes. You will learn about your distorted thinking and the ways you process information that prolong your problem with out-of-control anger.

People who lose control of their tempers often have an automatic inner critic feeding them exaggerated and negatively biased information about the situations that trigger angry outbursts. This feedback is often just outside of your conscious awareness, to the point that you do not notice it or it becomes so authoritative that it is taken as the absolute truth in your subconscious mind.

Anger management programs will teach you to challenge your anger-triggering thoughts and consider the evidence for and against them. You will learn that you do not have to accept them; you will also learn about the core beliefs and assumptions that you hold about yourself and other people in your subconscious, and how these can trigger your anger and rage.

Once you know what they are you can learn to discard those that you no longer need and replace them with new adaptive and empowering beliefs. Anger management training will also help you to move towards accepting yourself as you are and to care less about what others think.

Your therapist can help you uncover how you measure your self-worth and cope with ever-present frustration. Anger management therapy can literally change your life and save your marriage!