I believe on e of the key factors of dealing with stress is learning the right coping skills for oneself and recognizing our stressors. Individuals all handle situations, decision making, planning their future and job choices differently. None of these are better or worse or right or wrong, but how the person is able to cope. While working with people, I have watched them become mildly to severely depressed - requiring medication, having psychotic breakdowns or becoming emotionally fearful. These problems result in fatigue, sleep disorders, muscle pain or denial and make us feel we are out of control.

A wise and former boss of mine used to tell me I shouldn't expect logical choices or responses from irrational or stressed out people. I now realize the strength of this statement. Think about how we react, talk to people, problem solve or deal with children, boss or spouse while living your life in stress. How rational do you think you are? Do we blame others? Are we hostile? Do we want to force our opinion onto to others? Or do we just want to run away and hide? This is stress!

Now that we know how stress can affect us, let's consider ways to positively reduce our stress level. One of the key factors in coping with stress is to identify it. Some individuals might find this easier to do with another person they trust then to do it by themselves. Following these steps will help.

1. Write your stressors down by keeping a journal of the event and putting a number to your stress level and the signs of the stress. Try this for a week and then look to see what observations become clear.

2. Use laughter to help reduce your level of stress. A funny movie, watching a DVD or listening to your favorite comedian, can help you relax and reduce your tension.

3. Change your attitude about how you view situations. Surround yourself with positive people and make this a CHOICE and part of your life style.

4. Use positive affirmations. Write them down and place them where you will see and read them frequently.

5. Introduce a hobby or activity into your life that doesn't create stress but rather gives you pleasure and a sense of peace.

6. Try for BALANCE in your life.

7. Use Time Management. Some people find using lists, organizing their day/week and writing down their appointments to be useful and help to establish priorities.

8. Set realistic goals for yourself. A goal is something you want to accomplish in a measurable period of time.

9. Take time for yourself each week by doing something special. This is probably the most difficult thing to do ? but YOU ARE WORTH IT!

10. And last ? BE GOOD TO YOURSELF.

All of these suggestions become easier to do if you share them with a trusted person. In many cases how you deal with stress helps reduce stress in those around you and also helps them become aware of your needs and how best to help you. It is how we ask for things that sometimes make the difference in what we receive. Pick the time wisely so you have the best chance of being heard.