From the very day you were born up to this very moment while you are reading this article, you are surrounded by negativity. It is bombarding you constantly! Your parents raised you the best way they could but in many ways this was like "the blind leading the blind". They, as imperfect people, did an imperfect job. Your teachers tried to direct you as best they could with a flawed educational system as imperfect human beings also. Peers, hurting from emotional traumas, ridiculed and belittled you in the playground and beyond. Peer pressure has left you with emotional scars that just won't seem to heal.
There are a thousand reasons that can be given for your present position in life, your outlook and your lack of belief in yourself. However, "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step", Old Chinese Adage. In personal development that single, and most important, step is accountability or taking full responsibility for your life. To begin your steps and journey on the path to success it is of paramount importance to take accountability for the decisions, actions and thoughts that have lead you to where you currently are. You must stop blaming others for the way you feel, for the state of your life and your circumstances. The things that happened in the past cannot be changed, altered or removed. The past has already happened and what happened in the past should stay there. Your power is always in the present.
Not matter how hard you try or how much you moan, complain and feel regretful you simple cannot change the past. You must fully accept that it occurred and accept that you are who you are now and you are where you are now because of your own decisions and actions. Eliminate the need to blame others, circumstances or your environment for your problems. If you take responsibility and accountability for your own life and circumstances you will release a tremendous power that currently lies dormant within you. You will release you infinite power and potential.
Blaming others for you problems or current circumstances will lead you to ruin in the long run. The simple fact of the matter is, that if others are responsible for your problems then you have no way of changing those problems. You have handed your power to someone else. If it is their doing then only they can fix it. However, when you begin to realize that you are the only person who is responsible for your life and your problems then you also realize that you are the only one who can fix them! This is an exhilarating feeling when you truly grasp the concept and accept it. You no longer need to rely on others to ?fix? you or your life. You can immediately regain full control everything in your life and begin to direct your own destiny.
By trying to manipulate circumstances, environments or people you will always remain out of control. You can never control everything nor everyone. But the great news is you can recreate YOUR world as you see fit! Although you can never control the actual world nor control the people in it, you can make your world (your surroundings, home, job the people you meet and interact with etc.) they way you want it to be .
We are told in numerous religious teachings that we were made in the image and likeness of The Creator. God-force resides within each and everyone of us. This means we have access to infinite resources and infinite power. Your infinite power has expression in the physical world through your decision or intention.
There is a desire within everyone to better their life. This desire takes different forms and has different objectives but we all have it. Many have been carrying these desires their entire lives never getting close to realising them. If we are all connected to the Source of all things, being made in the likeness and image of our Creator, where do you think that desire originates?
You would not be given desires and the yearning to better yourself and your life if it were not possible to achieve same. You were not put here to struggle. You came to overcome challenges and to enjoy the journey of life. You were given the tools to achieve anything you want and those tools reside within you.
Start with ambition! Decide that you can and will reach your goals because you now know that you are responsible for the direction your life takes and no-one else.
Create a vision that will stoke the fires of your enthusiasm. A vision that means something to only you. Something you have always wanted to achieve, be or do. The kind of vision that makes your heart sing and soul take flight. Set your intention to achieve it. You are responsible. This is your vision for the future. This is the vision of your perfect life.
Now set stepping stone goals. Goals that once achieved have brought you that bit closer to your vision. Always set a goal that will take some effort to achieve but that does not seem so impossible that you will get discouraged and quit.
Write down your vision and your goals. Make statements that reflect positive outcomes as though they have already happened i.e. "I am extremely grateful now that I own my own successful business".
Never frame the statement in negative terms or in a way that reflects the "wanting" of the goal. By wanting a thing you are, in fact, just confirming to yourself that you lack it! When you have a "want" you are really sending a clear message to yourself that you do not already have it! you want it because you don't have it!
Let's take an example - your vision states that you want harmony in your home. You make the decision that you no longer think the area where you live is desirable. You believe that it is causing untold damage to your family due to the negative nature of your environment. You decide that a good stepping stone goal would be to move to a better area. In order to do this you decide you need to find a better job to pay for the house. In order to get better employment it be become necessary to return to education, perhaps through a night class or correspondence course etc. Each goal should build the previous one.
Let's return to the example of the house. You set one of your stepping stone goals to buy a house in a better area, let's call this area "The Keys". Never word a goal in terms that are negative i.e., "I don't want to live here anymore" or place your goal in the future, i.e., "I will live in a 5 bedroom house in The Keys". You would phrase it positively and in the present, i.e., "I enjoy the solitude, relaxed, comfortable environment my new five bedroom house in The Keys provides for me and my family".
Ensure that you set a deadline for the attainment of your goal but again, make it realistic. Chose a goal that is just out of reach but not so far out of reach that achieving it seems impossible. As you progress in your own personal development and begin to access and realise the true power of your intentions and thoughts your deadlines can get closer and your goals will get bigger. For example, "It is [write future date] and I live in a 5 bedroom house in The Keys."
Read this statement twice a day. Morning and night. Visualize your goal and then your vision as being real in the here and now. To this successfully you need to get very specific and very detailed. The more specific your goal is, the faster you will achieve it. What colour are the carpets in those 5 bedrooms? Is the entrance hall tiled? Perhaps you have wooden floors. What size is the garden? Is there a garage?
Now that you have set your goal it is necessary to calculate the best way of achieving it. Don't worry if you can't think of a way of achieving your vision or the path to your goal may be a little hazy at the minute. Taking whatever small steps you can right now will open up other opportunities and clearer path will become visible. However, for now let's assume you know how to get to your goal. Set yourself small stepping-stone tasks that when followed and executed leave you that little bit closer to your final destination. Schedule these steps. This is where a "one page to one day" diary is invaluable. These small easy to manage and perform tasks are the concrete on your road to success. Take them everyday and you cannot fail to reach your goal. As you become more proficient at personal development techniques like these you will find that you will set your sights higher. Your goals will get bigger, your tasks will become greater and your life will be more enriched!
As with go through our daily lives the world, many times, seems to push against us. It is as though we are like feathers in the wind being blown in this direction and that. However, you can begin to raise your sails and use that wind, hopping from one air current to the next, until they carry you to the destination of your choosing.
The most powerful way to influence the direction in which we sail is by consciously choosing the direction of our thoughts and feelings. It is our thoughts and feelings that direct our actions and it is our actions that determine where we go in life. It is never circumstances that determines your thoughts and feelings but how you perceive what has happened and how you respond to it internally. This response then affects your actions and reactions and these in turn affect your life. Many times we are on automatic pilot when we react to situations, events and people. Unfortunately, for a great majority of the time, these automatic responses are neither constructive nor life-enriching.
One of the most assured ways of becoming a conscious controller of our thoughts and feelings, and thus our actions, is to monitor and change our internal dialogue. To change your responses and reactions to events that take place in your life, you must first change how you view them. Say, you lose a key sale at work, is this a disaster or a learning experience? Do you ask ?Why does this always happen to me??, ?I can't believe I was so stupid to lose that sale?, or do you ask ?How did I contribute to this and what can I learn from it to ensure I don't make the same mistakes again??
Your internal dialogue and the words you use tend to show how you are feeling about the external events in your life. However this is a two-way street. By changing the pattern of this dialogue you can alter how you feel and think. By looking for the positive aspects behind the experience you will tend to stay more optimistic, learn to deal more effectively with similar events and attract better situations in the future.
Look at the quality of the questions you ask yourself on a day to day basis. ?Do you ask, ?Why can I not get that extra sale?? or ?What do I need to do to get that extra sale??. Can you see how your brain would react differently to these two questions? Ask why you can't do something and your mind will respond by giving you a multitude of reasons. Ask how you can do it better or what you need to do to achieve your goal and your mind is sent in a completely different direction - it will now search for ways to get the job done and bring the outcome you desire!
Your focus determines your reality. Having a positive internal dialogue, that supports, encourages and expands you redirects your focus. You tend to focus on solutions and what you want rather than on what you do not want. What you focus on expands. If your focus is constantly centred on the things that are wrong in your life you will tend to get more of them or at the very least you will always experience those same things. Begin, now, to use your own self-talk to your advantage. Inwardly talk approvingly and encouragingly to yourself. Ask yourself quality questions that inspire you and drive you to look for answers instead of guiding you into wallowing in self-pity and victim-mode.
As we progress through life, and especially when we strive to create the life we want, we continually encounter challenges and difficulties as the world pushes against us. Problems, disappointments, failures and upsets all play their part in the symphony of life. They are a part of the human condition. But in and of themselves they are just experiences. It is how we react to them that determines whether we are happy , sad, frustrated, angry or apathetic. By responding in a different, more positive, way you can begin to change your life for the better and feel happier and more content also.
If you take a look at anyone who has achieved anything of real value you will find that they encountered many problems and difficulties. No two people experience the same problems in the same way. It seems we live in a wise and all-knowing Universe that directs life experience to each individual based on what they need to learn and what they can handle. A major problem to me, that causes anxiety, stress and heartache, may be a walk in the park for you! We each experience our own hardships in our own ways. The difference between the ones who use these hardships to grow, learn, evolve and eventually succeed is their belief system.
Your belief system is easy to identify. Listen to the way you talk to yourself and others. Pay attention to even the smallest details. Then begin to change your internal dialogue. Never finish a negative sentence. Once you catch yourself saying a negative, stop! Reverse it! Phrase it in a way that empowers you. Make a question out of it, one that forces your mind to seek the answers that will drive you forward instead of holding you back. This is what I refer to as Personal Development Power Talk and it is extremely effective. Change your internal dialogue and you will change your life.